Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[need_it]

Dated my OC for many years and got married recently. Same issue here. Actually the problem started just before marriage. I am reduced to begging and begging for intimacy now. When OC feels charitable, I get a shot (pun intended). Missionary, full stop. No other tricks. Newly wed and it is like 2 - 3 times a month?!?!

I understand that sex is not everything in a relationship but when you have to beg for it, it is unbearable. I can relate to the bros here. Guys are actually simple to maintain. Heard this many moons ago, that for a wife to keep her man, she needs to fill his belly and empty his balls.

At this stage, it is already like this. I WILL NEVER WANT TO HAVE A KID!

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

BUT guys also can bonk any gal without Love but gals can't let a guy bonk without falling in love with that person.

I think in this case the guy is asking for attention and love but the girl is rejecting the advances

This statement is grossly untrue, gals can definately screw guys without

falling in love, can be just lust, and girls can initiate without remorse.

In fact, some girls are good at this, thats why they turn professionals.

[Tomthefucker]

no use one lah, whatever u want hint also kena bounce back.

if i bring up the issue of sex, first thing she will say is accuse me of not being understanding. That sex is the only thing is my mind and i am being unfair to her by harping on it.

Of cos i will harp on this, because wtf is a marriage for if husband and wife dont have sexual initmacy. The relationship is more normal than friendship or tenant/landlord relationship.

And we are like a monk, or a widower, and worst still DIY ourselves. Freakin pathetic a married man who needs to kill his own urge in such manner. Only those in this plight will understand what i am saying.

And, if we cheat outside (caused by neglect from our wife), we become the guilty party and her the victim. Any way we still lose out.

[callmebad]

men wants to be physical
for women, they are more about the feelings and emotions
women want emotional intimacy or closeness before they want sex
when women say,let's talk first, they really mean in, not just playing hard to get

women want you to talk to them, share their feelings and share yours with her

if you don't have the patience for this, will be quite tough

when she is not receptive to sex, must look to see where her problems lies, any unhappiness, is she stress, etc

if you want her to solve your problem (sex), you must solve hers first, if not,things will just get stuck there

most of us when after marriage, tend to take for granted for each other, we no longer behave as if like in dating days, try to go all out of our ways to please and impress each other

women crave romance and romance should not end after marriage

be romantic and give her pleasant surprises, treat her nice and lovingly at all times, not just for the sake of sex, and she will give in to you without you asking for it

this is the way , most women's mind work, we can't change them
if men want sex, you have to 'play their mind' game, if not, will be quite tough, end up with you begging, is quite bad

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Tomthefucker

no use one lah, whatever u want hint also kena bounce back.

if i bring up the issue of sex, first thing she will say is accuse me of not being understanding. That sex is the only thing is my mind and i am being unfair to her by harping on it.

Of cos i will harp on this, because wtf is a marriage for if husband and wife dont have sexual initmacy. The relationship is more normal than friendship or tenant/landlord relationship.

And we are like a monk, or a widower, and worst still DIY ourselves. Freakin pathetic a married man who needs to kill his own urge in such manner. Only those in this plight will understand what i am saying.

And, if we cheat outside (caused by neglect from our wife), we become the guilty party and her the victim. Any way we still lose out.

totally agree bro....

can get very bitter and angry too.... its the rejection of the duties of a wife

(which includes sex intimacy) that makes us angry

Between stucked between a rock(being accused of being a dirty man who

goes to FL) and a hard place(our needs)

[queeniegal]

That my personal view la... -.-

My granny & mum teaches me what needs said to keep a man must fill his belly (which I'm force to learn cooking) n empty the balls (this they never teach but teaches me must obey to hubby)

Maybe I'm too old mind set? Ha I trying to advance myself le..

Need- suddenly recall why my bro married a china gal then sg gal
That prc not pretty n very fat but always damn active in bed. Every day!!! Previously they stay with me just next door so ya can hear... Even married le also same! Luckily they shifted out. N my bro look damn tired every day and every time we meet up!!!

Previously my bro got few sg Gf all got princess illness actually that prc also but cfm not every night empty the ball... Or maybe my bro have to beg for it coz all nv last more then 2 years.

Hmmmm ha thank to this forum I will treat my future hubby very good I suppose

[Tomthefucker]

queeniegal,

no one can guarantee that her future husband wont fool around outside. But if the lady can keep her husband sex-isfied, then it probably will lower/minimise the tendency..

[queeniegal]

Actually when a guy cheat outside, always two hand to clap.

That why lots of guy said 婚姻是男人的坟墓。。。Now I understand from this thread....

[need_it]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

That my personal view la... -.-

My granny & mum teaches me what needs said to keep a man must fill his belly (which I'm force to learn cooking) n empty the balls (this they never teach but teaches me must obey to hubby)

Maybe I'm too old mind set? Ha I trying to advance myself le..

Need- suddenly recall why my bro married a china gal then sg gal
That prc not pretty n very fat but always damn active in bed. Every day!!! Previously they stay with me just next door so ya can hear... Even married le also same! Luckily they shifted out. N my bro look damn tired every day and every time we meet up!!!

Previously my bro got few sg Gf all got princess illness actually that prc also but cfm not every night empty the ball... Or maybe my bro have to beg for it coz all nv last more then 2 years.

Hmmmm ha thank to this forum I will treat my future hubby very good I suppose

Queenie, your bro's story is indeed a testament to the theory of filling belly and emptying balls! I think it really helps to keep a man satisfied. And a satisfied man is less likely to wanna eat out. Think of it as someone who has a good meal, he is less likely to go tabao. Alas.... Having said that, I still can resist the urge to eat out. For now.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

I am still a bit reluctant to mention about GL and explain to her why lonely men goes to this place. She will most probably feel that I am threatening her. I am in a dilemma of whether to "show hand" since I have nothing to lose, or to keep mum to maintain the harmony of the family. It is not easy. I do not have the balls of steel.

Bro...

No need to hint or mention GL...all you are saying to her is that you will need to find sex outside of the marriage since she is not giving it to you...

Even if she asks, tell her to let you worry about the details....do not mention anything that will make you look like you know or have tried it before...just say you are desperate and will find a way to deal with it....just want her agreement...

That is your plan B...

Bro, you can only keep trying...remember, the 'shock' value to wake her up wont happen unless you continue with the plan...think of this as a treatment for your marriage...take the full course or else it won't work...

jia you bro...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Guys is use sex to show and reconcile their love whereas Gals like to use words and emotional on it.

Hence, gals no matter wife or gf even normal friends they want attention ha..

Wife or Gf prefer affection, caring, patient and understanding partner then to have a guy just want sex.

Yes true...

But have you thought of this from the other angle??

Rewrite it from the guys point of view...

....Hence, guys no matter husband or BF they want sex ha..

Husband or BF prefer sex, quick sex or slow sex and a willing partner then to have a girl just want to talk all night with no action.


If a guy is dating a girl, maybe have to work harder to get into her pants...and that is the attraction (under false advertising obviously) to get married so that we don't have to try hard all the time...I pleadge commitment of my time and effort to her and she gives me sex...

We can go all week discussing whether it is fair and which gender gives more to a marriage...but sex is essentially what guys want for return in a marriage...(how many guys do you know will say, I really want that woman to have my children because she has such good genes?? We seldom think that far ahead..)

So when you want sex, they feel you might not even understand her need but just to have your own pleasure of course is a turn off to a gal or wifey.

Ask yourself (guy) how long have you seriously sit down and listen to what your wife whining or complains she said? Or really put your heart to understand her needs? Or did you tell her your stress your problems? What u going thru.. What u facing?

Are you saying that women don't enjoy sex? Then how to explain the married FB that guys get?
They just don't want sex with the husband because they link it to obligation...

Seriously, I have had many FB back in the day who were married...and guess what...I never ever have to listen to her whine and complaint abvout things...it was meet up, have a coffee, how was your day? good? mine's good too...what time must you get going? 3 hours? great, me too...and straight to the action...
I, however, cannot say if they are still giving sex to their husbands or not...I suspect they do simply becausethe FBs I had were all quite sexual...so they do enjoy and want sex...

But there are so many wives out there...I am sure some are not giving their husbands but give to FB...for whatever reason, that is not acceptable...

I can close one eye...she can have FB outside....if I find women outside, my obligation is still to make my partner sexually satisfied...and she should do the same.

(I do agree with you that a husband should listen to the wife's problems...however...the more they talk, the less time for sex...I can almost guarantee you...after the long talk...oh, it's so late already...we have to sleep honey...don't worry, sex this weekend ok? Then...that weekend...you don't listen to me and care about me today, so I don't feel like sex...
Once a husband has been trained like this...the weekday whine session? Siam...eventually, the weekend session also siam because she will promise sex for next weekend...
And from there it's is a downward cycle...)

Some wife I know they really not into bedroom stuff but why some before marriage having wonderful time but after marriage things change??

Think thru look back what really went wrong.

What went wrong is ...they got married...

As you said...not dating so no need to impress any more.. .she fucked him enough to impress him...now the test drive over, he bought the product...no more sex...why? Warranty expired after weeding night...no money back, no long term service contract and no parts exchange...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

I think in this case the guy is asking for attention and love but the girl is rejecting the advances

This statement is grossly untrue, gals can definately screw guys without

falling in love, can be just lust, and girls can initiate without remorse.

In fact, some girls are good at this, thats why they turn professionals.

Yes...this is very true...

I think...

Girls are very good at pre-selection...they look at guys...and see

A - good husband material...will provide and has good status...
B - good BF material...caring and will help me emotionally...
C- good MAN...can fuck me till I forget my name...

They will then...

Marry A....keep B as best friend or FWB...and C (plus other new found Cs) will be the FB...

.

[erkobb]

Just curious since this seems to be common problem for many of us guys - do you make your wife come everytime? Do they know how to let go of their inhibitions and really enjoy sex?

As Smay said, if take attitude of "I want to give you an orgasm everytime and will take time and effort to give you that", would a woman still treat it as obligation rather than enjoyment? Also, to have this attitude means other parts of daily life will also be similar and might improve overall mood for love and sex.

Sad to hear so many bro stories.

Sisters having this problem in the very very minority...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by callmebad

men wants to be physical
for women, they are more about the feelings and emotions
women want emotional intimacy or closeness before they want sex
when women say,let's talk first, they really mean in, not just playing hard to get

women want you to talk to them, share their feelings and share yours with her

if you don't have the patience for this, will be quite tough

when she is not receptive to sex, must look to see where her problems lies, any unhappiness, is she stress, etc

if you want her to solve your problem (sex), you must solve hers first, if not,things will just get stuck there

most of us when after marriage, tend to take for granted for each other, we no longer behave as if like in dating days, try to go all out of our ways to please and impress each other

women crave romance and romance should not end after marriage

be romantic and give her pleasant surprises, treat her nice and lovingly at all times, not just for the sake of sex, and she will give in to you without you asking for it

this is the way , most women's mind work, we can't change them
if men want sex, you have to 'play their mind' game, if not, will be quite tough, end up with you begging, is quite bad

Do NOT agree...

Why must the guy look to where her problem is? He has told her where his problem is...and sex is the quickest fix...

She wants a more attentive husband? Fuck him properly and he will be more attentive...

For a man to give a woman emotional support...romance and foreplay...that can take all day and even all week...which is too difficult...because we are not even talking about screwing up along the way...horse fart slap on horse leg type of backfire even...

For a woman...giving sex is less than one hour...even if her husband is superman...two hours...

Once done, she will notice that he will dote on her more than usual...yes, of course, immediately after, he will fall asleep...but the effect of sex, like most medicine are not immediate..wait till the next day...

So..why must one side give a full day to a week to make the other one more receptive to give an hour worth of action? Wouldn't the other way around be easier?

Therefore, why can't a woman play our game? Invest in one hour of sex a day...and get a more attentive husband for the whole week...or month, or the rest of her life??


.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by erkobb

Just curious since this seems to be common problem for many of us guys - do you make your wife come everytime? Do they know how to let go of their inhibitions and really enjoy sex?

As Smay said, if take attitude of "I want to give you an orgasm everytime and will take time and effort to give you that", would a woman still treat it as obligation rather than enjoyment? Also, to have this attitude means other parts of daily life will also be similar and might improve overall mood for love and sex.

Sad to hear so many bro stories.

Sisters having this problem in the very very minority...

Bro...

In order to give a wife an orgasm, she must want to have sex first, ya?

Or you have ways to make her cum while she is having her meeting in her office??

.