Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[erkobb]

Bro Wiz, this problem don't happen overnight but whether old problem or new problem there is a cause, and from your response and questions, I can see there is already frustration and bitterness. Only wondering whether us guys have done our part to make our lady want it..

[erkobb]

And not just want it, but want us.... Coz this is how they work. like it or not, women like to be wooed and feel important - its not logic or calculating week vs hour or once we tell them that the problem is with them they will fix it..

But we digress, so how many of bros with problems here can and do make their women come everytime (assuming Wiz bro's basic assumption that there is a session)... If its really pleasurable for them, why won't they play ball too?

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by erkobb

If its really pleasurable for them, why won't they play ball too?

This is because you are thinking like a man...

For most women, and I dare say 80-90% of them...getting an orgasm is not the goal of sex...yes, it's great when it happens...but what they really want in sex is the intimacy...

Once they link sex to being an obligation...they no longer feel the intimacy...

Why? Because they link the guy having sex with them as the source of their stress, their problem and part of their dreaded daily routine and life...
That is also why some married women seek FB...morally right or wrong doesn't matter at the moment...but with an FB, it's quick release without all the emotional links of their real life...no problems, stress or attachment of blame and obligation...just the intimacy of having a man's body close to hers...two hearts beating as one blah blah blah...

This is the reason people will be more enthusiastic when doing volunteer work than at their real jobs...they are doing it because they want to...plus, they can walk away from it if it gets too much...with the real job...obligation, stress, necessity and can only walk away when a better job comes up...

Link that to male/female relationships and you have a better handle on the whys...

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[queeniegal]

Hmmm.. Maybe those fb (married) their hubby are having their own fun or unable to provide the sexual life they want?

I have a Gf she complained to me that her Bf does not touch her for few months. She is so jam and upset.

I ask her talk to the guy, indeed she did. Her Bf said he is too stress up with work and NO mood for intimacy.

So here all are talking abt gal don't give what abt guy who don't give?

Here shd hv inputs from those happily marriage or attached (health sex life) guys and ladies...

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by Wizrd

This is because you are thinking like a man...

For most women, and I dare say 80-90% of them...getting an orgasm is not the goal of sex...yes, it's great when it happens...but what they really want in sex is the intimacy...

Once they link sex to being an obligation...they no longer feel the intimacy...

My wife needs more allowance before she even considers my advances. Whenever she needs it, she'll cum looking for it. And me, I just wait for my chances (just like Lottery).

Why? Because they link the guy having sex with them as the source of their stress, their problem and part of their dreaded daily routine and life...
That is also why some married women seek FB...morally right or wrong doesn't matter at the moment...but with an FB, it's quick release without all the emotional links of their real life...no problems, stress or attachment of blame and obligation...just the intimacy of having a man's body close to hers...two hearts beating as one blah blah blah...

I've got to help around the house, after my hard days' work.....she would rather I go GL than bother her with my needs. So who is stressed out here?


This is the reason people will be more enthusiastic when doing volunteer work than at their real jobs...they are doing it because they want to...plus, they can walk away from it if it gets too much...with the real job...obligation, stress, necessity and can only walk away when a better job comes up...

Link that to male/female relationships and you have a better handle on the whys...

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End of day, it boils down to no money = no love, no love = no sex, no sex = go find your own.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Hmmm.. Maybe those fb (married) their hubby are having their own fun or unable to provide the sexual life they want?

No arguements from me there...but we are not talking about moral judgement here...just what is fair to a husband when he needs sex...especially those who are trying their best not to have fun outside of the marriage...

I have a Gf she complained to me that her Bf does not touch her for few months. She is so jam and upset.

I ask her talk to the guy, indeed she did. Her Bf said he is too stress up with work and NO mood for intimacy.

So here all are talking abt gal don't give what abt guy who don't give?

At least she can still decide not to marry him.

The problem here is when sex was on free flow before marriage, then completely stops after...it is a shock to the system...like buying something but it does not operate as advertised...yet cannot return, refund and worst...cannot buy or even try out another one...

If a person has a very low on sex drive and the gf/bf still decides to marry...then at least the mind is prepared for not much sex after marriage...but if plenty of sex before, then goes to zero after...how to take it?

Here shd hv inputs from those happily marriage or attached (health sex life) guys and ladies...

Hahahaha...cute that you ask...

I don't think there are many happily married couples in this forum. I am sure there are some, but the sample size will be so small that to catch them here is very unlikely.

In any case, they will not relate to this problem since they are 'happily married' yes? They will come up with, see a counsellor, get help, talk to someone...blah blah blah...not real personal experience...
I have spoken to women who enjoy sex and are happily married...they cannot imagine not having sex with their husbands, even for a week. How would they relate to this problem?

Even you are trying to understand this because you have not been in this situation before...

Ask your girlfriend, the one not getting sex...ask her how she will behave and say if that is her life for the next 20-30 years...and must assume she cannot/doesn't want to eat outside...just have a husband and no sex...listen to her answer and maybe you will have an understanding of what is going on here.


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[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by Botakhead

End of day, it boils down to no money = no love, no love = no sex, no sex = go find your own.

In a way, you are right bro...

It is very very sad indeed.

[queeniegal]

Sigh.. Marriage life are so complex... I think my life now are much simpler ha...

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Sigh.. Marriage life are so complex... I think my life now are much simpler ha...

Yes...especially as a single woman in Sg...

Do whatever you want...whenever you want...

You make a listing for a FB and thousands of young studs will apply and send you photos + measurements +++ for your selection...

What for get married?? Day worry not giving him enough...night worry he doesn't give you...weekdays worry about the future with him...weekends worry about the future without him...too much trouble...

Single all the way...

(btw...I am still hoping to find someone to settle down with...but a bit difficult to teach old dogs new tricks...so I may have to FB till retirement home time...mmmm, I like...)

We do NOT choose life...Life chooses us....but...we can choose the lifestyle and when to say NO....


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[5ag1_Boar]

Just a little humour, but true for many people:
http://dailyfailcenter.com/2945

[queeniegal]

Ha.. I dun see myself settling down. Even tho I wished but I feel my expectation for friends are high. Bf will be higher maybe but dun think so ha cause usually I'm the one get hurt badly


Just went for a networking session, which I hate. With those Directors, Vp and MD ard is like not a lifestyle I prefer but I'm force to go!

In order to stay single n independent forever I need to network! This is life! Single also woes married also... Life...

[naturegreen]

Going through the motion is better than no motion. Sex after marriage is a bonus for me. So I am trying to outsource. Any takers? Let me declare I am a MALE first seeking a female, else I will be flooded with messages from guys again!

[need_it]

Originally Posted by naturegreen

Going through the motion is better than no motion. Sex after marriage is a bonus for me. So I am trying to outsource. Any takers? Let me declare I am a MALE first seeking a female, else I will be flooded with messages from guys again!

Bro, your avatar is so misleading. Nice!

[raistlin]

Queeniegal, the sad part is most of us have tried what you mentioned (on advice of other female friends).... nothing works!

I once booked a honeymoon suite with jacuzzi in a phuket for 4D3N... guess how many times it was used? Once! Sex... also once in the whole trip... rest of the time, she says she is tired or I'm being irritating...

So why should husbands bother when wivies are like that?

They can be tired looking after children and working... you men guys dun?

[queeniegal]

Maybe!!! She need some health supplement to boast her energy!!! Haha... Seriously too tired and stressful might caused sex life...

I am very energetic daily ha... Despite long working hours~ thank to the supplement I took ha...

Maybe u shd get her some???