All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[jasl38]

hi all,

i think i am done with my marriage with my filipino wife,for the past few years her lifestyle totally upside down.
she'll drink beer almost every night ( abt 4-6 cans ), chat with her friends online or watch korean drama till 4-5am everyday.
when i go work, she will still be sleeping till afternoon,my son will be alone playing n watching tv.
i am a shift worker so sometimes i will be home in the day if i am on nightshift or off days, only those days i can take care of him.
i pity my son, noone takes care of him if i am not home

every year she will want to go back phillippines for at least 1 month holidays, she will spent abt 5k each time she goes back and come back with some debts which she borrowed from her friends while she is there coz she said the money i gave her is not enough.

i have to borrow from moneylenders to repay her debts and also to meet ends. but its never enough, i dont have a single cent savings.
every month payday, i will have to repay the moneylenders n give her family allowance ( $400 ), pay bills . end of the day nothing much left, this have been going on for abt 2 years . i still owe 2 moneylenders and last installment will be this month. i dont wish to borrow anymore, i have been borrowing for 2 years from one or another to cover. for this reason i gave her less money, but she said i spent all my money on another woman . i told her i dont have a GF n the money is actually used to pay off debts, she refused to accept the truth.

she will wake me up in the middle of the night after she finished drinking and chatting with friends, usually 4 -5am and ask me why no money. i know she usually check my bank balance using my atm card at night. i told her i got bills to pay and she will start to be crazy and shouting, i cant sleep after that and have to take leave sometimes coz of that.

i have many talks with her over these years regarding her drinking habit n late night chatting. i told her she is married already and should take care family first but she refused to change, she tells me this is ME. its a normal life for her .

2 weeks ago, we have a big quarrel and she wanted to leave. i thought it was one of her ' normal' nights so i just let the matter cool down.
last night she wakes me up again at 4am and start the same routine asking me why no money to give her and wanted divorce this time.

i think i am tired of this kind of life, i just want a peaceful life with my son now.

i have some questions before i proceed with looking for a lawyer to file my divorce.

some facts below

- married in singapore for almost 8 years
- have a 6 years old singaporean boy child
- my wife is holding LTSVP. full time house wife
- staying in a 5 room HDB ( Sole Ownership , she's Authorised Occupier )
- i have a stable job and earns abt 70k per annum


some questions below

- do i need to sell my flat if i file for divorce?
- can she fight for custody of my son? ( she said she wants to fight for it )
- do i have to pay her maintenance ?

there are some plans i have in mind, i will hired a maid to take care my son while i go work. he will be going to P1 next year.
or i can ask my mother to stay at my house to take care my son for the time being before i get a maid.

my main concern is my son, i dont want to lose him and i know he loves me more than my wife.

any bros here who have any good advices, pls post or pm me.

thks a million

[WarPig]

Originally Posted by jasl38

hi all,

i think i am done with my marriage with my filipino wife,for the past few years her lifestyle totally upside down.
she'll drink beer almost every night ( abt 4-6 cans ), chat with her friends online or watch korean drama till 4-5am everyday.
when i go work, she will still be sleeping till afternoon,my son will be alone playing n watching tv.
i am a shift worker so sometimes i will be home in the day if i am on nightshift or off days, only those days i can take care of him.
i pity my son, noone takes care of him if i am not home

every year she will want to go back phillippines for at least 1 month holidays, she will spent abt 5k each time she goes back and come back with some debts which she borrowed from her friends while she is there coz she said the money i gave her is not enough.

i have to borrow from moneylenders to repay her debts and also to meet ends. but its never enough, i dont have a single cent savings.
every month payday, i will have to repay the moneylenders n give her family allowance ( $400 ), pay bills . end of the day nothing much left, this have been going on for abt 2 years . i still owe 2 moneylenders and last installment will be this month. i dont wish to borrow anymore, i have been borrowing for 2 years from one or another to cover. for this reason i gave her less money, but she said i spent all my money on another woman . i told her i dont have a GF n the money is actually used to pay off debts, she refused to accept the truth.

she will wake me up in the middle of the night after she finished drinking and chatting with friends, usually 4 -5am and ask me why no money. i know she usually check my bank balance using my atm card at night. i told her i got bills to pay and she will start to be crazy and shouting, i cant sleep after that and have to take leave sometimes coz of that.

i have many talks with her over these years regarding her drinking habit n late night chatting. i told her she is married already and should take care family first but she refused to change, she tells me this is ME. its a normal life for her .

2 weeks ago, we have a big quarrel and she wanted to leave. i thought it was one of her ' normal' nights so i just let the matter cool down.
last night she wakes me up again at 4am and start the same routine asking me why no money to give her and wanted divorce this time.

i think i am tired of this kind of life, i just want a peaceful life with my son now.

i have some questions before i proceed with looking for a lawyer to file my divorce.

some facts below

- married in singapore for almost 8 years
- have a 6 years old singaporean boy child
- my wife is holding LTSVP. full time house wife
- staying in a 5 room HDB ( Sole Ownership , she's Authorised Occupier )
- i have a stable job and earns abt 70k per annum


some questions below

- do i need to sell my flat if i file for divorce?
- can she fight for custody of my son? ( she said she wants to fight for it )
- do i have to pay her maintenance ?

there are some plans i have in mind, i will hired a maid to take care my son while i go work. he will be going to P1 next year.
or i can ask my mother to stay at my house to take care my son for the time being before i get a maid.

my main concern is my son, i dont want to lose him and i know he loves me more than my wife.

any bros here who have any good advices, pls post or pm me.

thks a million

Sounds like yours is gonna be an acrimonious divorce. It's going to be a long and bitter fight so I would suggest that you spend the money and get a good lawyer. If you want custody of your boy you must have a better parenting plan than your ex-spouse..... but unfortunately you cannot use the maid as the plan as I dun think you are allowed to engage one as a single male.

Your lawyer would be in a better position to advice you after knowing more details of your case...... which we are unable to do here. Although you are disadvantaged by the Women's Charter.... do not be discouraged....... there is hope still as your child is a male. The Singkee government treasures your son as we are having an critical shortage of males to serve NS...... they will not let your ex-wife have custody of him if she intends to bring him back to her country.
Another important point to note is that you must show that you have the financial capability to bring up your son..... so get rid of your links to the moneylenders as they would be a liability.

[limdavid911]

Hi,

is never fair in Singapore, I was sue until I give up and when in 3 times and the judge also bo bian I told the judge I no $$$ can't find job and her lawyer (a female) ask me to go and kill myself then they will end the case.

[Ninja_Assassin]

Originally Posted by limdavid911

hi,

is never fair in singapore, i was sue until i give up and when in 3 times and the judge also bo bian i told the judge i no $$$ can't find job and her lawyer (a female) ask me to go and kill myself then they will end the case.

fu*k the womens charter !

[Ohkui]

Originally Posted by limdavid911

Hi,is never fair in Singapore,
I was sue until I give up and when in 3 times and the judge also bo bian I told the judge I no $$$ can't find job and her lawyer (a female) ask me to go and kill myself then they will end the case.

u should hv RAPEd tat BITCH lawyer then

[99546]

Hi, Bros,

BROS, PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME GIVE ME A LAW ADVICE..

Currently I divorce with my wife. ( see previous post I posted ). My lawyer told me for future I can see my son easy. Tell them first, that I file for divorce. I do the things that the lawyer say. And she ( wife ) ask for don divorce coz think of the child. But she don want to save back the relationship. She say drag till the child get older then decide. The whole matter is she started because of having affair twice.

Is I say to divorce because if continue together is no use. I talk to her about all the claim that I giving her. She didnt agree anything and ask how to settle the flat. Currently I am owner of this flat, she is a occupier. Because I hope that can settle peacefully so that in future can easy to see my child or talk to them. But I am wrong. She went to employ lawyer.

My question to ask.. ( Please Bro help me )

How does the law count I have to give the maximum $ to the child ( my basic 1.6k + ot not everytime have ) The law count in basic salary or what?

Can I don pay her a single cent of her claim? ( she is working )

I want retain the flat. But I have to pay her. What is maximum I have to give? Because if sell away, I have no place to stay.

THANKS BROS,HOPE U ALL CAN HELP ME ANSWER ABOVE QUESTION..

[WarPig]

Originally Posted by 99546

Hi, Bros,

BROS, PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME GIVE ME A LAW ADVICE..

Currently I divorce with my wife. ( see previous post I posted ). My lawyer told me for future I can see my son easy. Tell them first, that I file for divorce. I do the things that the lawyer say. And she ( wife ) ask for don divorce coz think of the child. But she don want to save back the relationship. She say drag till the child get older then decide. The whole matter is she started because of having affair twice.

Is I say to divorce because if continue together is no use. I talk to her about all the claim that I giving her. She didnt agree anything and ask how to settle the flat. Currently I am owner of this flat, she is a occupier. Because I hope that can settle peacefully so that in future can easy to see my child or talk to them. But I am wrong. She went to employ lawyer.

My question to ask.. ( Please Bro help me )

How does the law count I have to give the maximum $ to the child ( my basic 1.6k + ot not everytime have ) The law count in basic salary or what?

Can I don pay her a single cent of her claim? ( she is working )

I want retain the flat. But I have to pay her. What is maximum I have to give? Because if sell away, I have no place to stay.

THANKS BROS,HOPE U ALL CAN HELP ME ANSWER ABOVE QUESTION..

Bro, please dun stress yourself out..... how old is your kid?
Because if he/she is below 8 yrs..... it is now compulsory for you & your spouse to go for counselling and mediation at the Court Mediation Centre. The reasons and circumstances leading to the breakdown of your marriage is analysed. All the answers to your questions above are available to you at the session..... and they will explain the pros and cons of going for divorce based on your family's circumstances. Every case is different so it is not possible to give specific advice to you here. Go for the counselling session...... and after the session you still want to go through with the divorce..... then go apply for legal aid.

On your monthly pay of $1.6K..... do not engage a lawyer!! You will end up in financial ruin for the rest of your life...... you qualify for legal aid and the Courts will be lenient in deciding your financial obligations to the other party. If you engage your own lawyer.... the Courts will take inference that you have the means and are financially capable of meeting the ancillary obligations that the other party demand.

Take note that if your wife's affair was more than 6 months ago..... you cannot use that as grounds for divorce. Also her immoral behavior is not taken into consideration for the ancillary proceedings.

[Flinty]

Originally Posted by Ohkui

u should hv RAPEd tat BITCH lawyer then

Hahaha .... lol
That's a good one

[Flinty]

Originally Posted by Ninja_Assassin

fu*k the womens charter !

Come over to Fiji. You'll not have any of these problems. The man is KING in Fiji.

[99546]

Thanks Bro Warpig,

For give me advice.

My child is 4yrs old. I went to counselling alone before, got ask her to come along but she say is there a need to go. About saying the legal aid, they say I not qualify for the legal aid because of the total salary that I take back. ( basic salary + ot ). Do I have the choice when they say I not qualify?

I have to engage lawyer myself. Now I divorce with her in the grounds of unreasonable behavior because the the affair is more than 6 months ago. Around 1 year +. I tolerate her for 1 year +. At first though that forgive her and she will go back the same as usual. And another reason is my child, I can't let go. I have wrong, in this 1 year +, she have been speak rude to me, no matter I nicely talk to her, but there is no change. Have ask her numbers of times to reconcile this relationship but she don't want. She has not staying with me after the affair. She will only come back and stay when the child is back on weekend. ( Weekdays will be her mother take care of my child ). When she come back, she will use the bolster put in the centre of the bed, if not I will sleep with my child or she will sleep with my child. I have tolerate enough. This is part of my life that I living.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT WHY I NOT QUALIFY FOR THE LEGAL AID. BASIC SALARY IS 1.6K + OT. GOING TO OR ABOUT 2K . I DON UNDERSTAND.

Do Bros know this lawyer because I want to know is he/she good in fighting divorce case? The lawyer is she ( wife ) engaged. Here is not right place put. I will pm you.

Once again, Thanks to Bro Warpig for your advice.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by 99546

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT WHY I NOT QUALIFY FOR THE LEGAL AID. BASIC SALARY IS 1.6K + OT. GOING TO OR ABOUT 2K . I DON UNDERSTAND.

Believe me bro the income criteria they set for qualifying legal aid is so bloody ridiculous that you wonder whether the fucking gov is serious about helping the poor...

[99546]

Bros Frankiestine,

Yes, I agree with you. Do they think salary of 2k is enough living at here? I think they putting up a show that let people see that they are good. Actually all is fake..

[WarPig]

Originally Posted by 99546

Thanks Bro Warpig,

For give me advice.

My child is 4yrs old. I went to counselling alone before, got ask her to come along but she say is there a need to go. About saying the legal aid, they say I not qualify for the legal aid because of the total salary that I take back. ( basic salary + ot ). Do I have the choice when they say I not qualify?

I have to engage lawyer myself. Now I divorce with her in the grounds of unreasonable behavior because the the affair is more than 6 months ago. Around 1 year +. I tolerate her for 1 year +. At first though that forgive her and she will go back the same as usual. And another reason is my child, I can't let go. I have wrong, in this 1 year +, she have been speak rude to me, no matter I nicely talk to her, but there is no change. Have ask her numbers of times to reconcile this relationship but she don't want. She has not staying with me after the affair. She will only come back and stay when the child is back on weekend. ( Weekdays will be her mother take care of my child ). When she come back, she will use the bolster put in the centre of the bed, if not I will sleep with my child or she will sleep with my child. I have tolerate enough. This is part of my life that I living.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT WHY I NOT QUALIFY FOR THE LEGAL AID. BASIC SALARY IS 1.6K + OT. GOING TO OR ABOUT 2K . I DON UNDERSTAND.

Do Bros know this lawyer because I want to know is he/she good in fighting divorce case? The lawyer is she ( wife ) engaged. Here is not right place put. I will pm you.

Once again, Thanks to Bro Warpig for your advice.

The counselling session is arranged by the Family Court. Going for your own counselling does not count. Besides the experts conducting the session, a judge may sit in to observe the session. It is compulsory for all parties to attend the session..... failure to attend the session will have an adverse effect on your case.

To be eligible for Legal Aid you have to pass the means test. If your monthly income is $1.6K as claimed then you should qualify for assistance from the LAB.
You have to declare ALL your income and do not try to bullshit or give a lower figure as they will check your finances thoroughly.

I once had a case where a taxi driver claimed his income was only $1K per month and submitted his IRAS returns as proof...... but background checks through his taxi company and banks revealed a different story. To confirm his financial status we visited his home..... although it was a 3 room HDB unit.... all the bedrooms and the hall were fitted with individual aircons..... he had a 40" LCD TV, an OSIM massage chair, leather sofa sets, a large refrigerator, a BOSE sound system connected to a Karaoke setup..... a quick glance at the washing hanging in the kitchen revealed designer clothes.... the taxi driver was wearing Asics Gel running shoes (which cost @$238/= at that time).

It was hard for us to believe he was earning only $1K every month...... and the meter reading obtained from his taxi confirmed he was lying.... the readings showed he averaged about $5K per month from 12 hrs of driving every day.

We will extend help to you if you are genuinely in dire straits but you have to be honest with us.....

[99546]

Bro Warpig,

Thanks for replying me.

As you say that have to go for counselling, is it no matter I engage lawyer myself, both party still have to go through the counselling before divorce?

As about the legal aid, my chargeable income written on iras is 21k annual. Like to ask you, am I qualify for legal aid?

Bro Warpig

Thanks again for your advice..

[WarPig]

Originally Posted by 99546

Bro Warpig,

Thanks for replying me.

As you say that have to go for counselling, is it no matter I engage lawyer myself, both party still have to go through the counselling before divorce?

As about the legal aid, my chargeable income written on iras is 21k annual. Like to ask you, am I qualify for legal aid?

Bro Warpig

Thanks again for your advice..

The counselling/mediation arranged by the Family Court is mandatory.

Every application is assessed on a case by case basis. Without looking at your file and circumstances I cannot advise you. Generally, the IRAS return serve only as a guide. It is income declared by you to IRAS..... however we need to know ALL your income sources. As to the income ceiling to be eligible for aid..... it is not set in stone..... we also look at the number of dependants reliant on your income.

I would suggest that you attend the counselling session arranged by the Family Court...... your situation will be analysed by the experts and any queries or doubts that you have can be cleared up on that day.