One day there was a guy who was driving to a nearby town. He was in a hurry, so he took a back road to get there faster, when, all of a sudden, his car broke down. A nearby farmer saw him stranded so he invited him to stay the night.
He said, "The only bed I have that you can sleep in is with my daughter, but if I catch you fooling around with her I'll shoot you. To make sure that you don't I'm going to put some eggs between both of you and if they are broken in the morning then you are going to die."
So the guy agreed.
In the middle of the night the girl wanted to get it on so they did. In the middle of the skirmish they broke all of the eggs.
The guy didn't want to get shot so he cleaned up the mess and glued the egg shells back together.
In the morning the farmer came into his daughter's room and found that all of the eggs were still intact.
The farmer was so happy that he invited the guy to have breakfast with him.
So he gathered up all of the eggs and took them to the kitchen.
He cracked the first one open and nothing was inside it.
He cracked the second one and still nothing and so on.
When he found out that all of them had nothing in them he grabbed his shotgun and ran outside.
He opened the chicken shed door and yelled out "ALLRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU ROOSTERS HAS BEEN USING CONDOMS?!
A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. The waiter, suspecting that they've run out, goes back to question the chef. "Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?"
Frank replies, "I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs left."
The waiter tells him, "Give him the rotten eggs. He's so plastered he won't know the difference!"
Frank scrambles the rotten eggs, heaps on hash browns, sausage and toast.
The drunk is so hungry, he wolfs down the breakfast without comment.
He goes to pay the cashier and asks, "Where'd you get those eggs?"
She answers, "We have our own chicken farm."
The drunk asks her, "Do you have a rooster?"
"No," she says.
The drunk replies, "Well, you'd better get one, because some skunk is fucking your chickens!"
I better get rid of all my chickens,
Thanks bro bigbigbird for the nice joke.
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special."
The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $50,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement
"I'll take it!" Declared the old man.
The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon."
Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "Sir, there's NO money in that account!"
The old man said, "I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!"
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special."
The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $50,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement
"I'll take it!" Declared the old man.
The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon."
Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "Sir, there's NO money in that account!"
The old man said, "I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!"
Doing any kind of exercise is excellent for your health. But, for those who still have doubts when choosing, here you will find 7 good reasons to decide between Running or Fucking.
1.- When you run, you usually go alone. If you go with someone you just want to run faster than the other.
Fucking? No. You always try to reach the goal together.
*Therefore, fuck "Develops teamwork and avoids selfishness."*
2.- To run you have to buy a lot of clothes that, normally, is quite expensive.
However, to fuck, just take off the one you're wearing.
As you can see, *fucking "encourages saving, and avoids consumerism"*
3.- To run
You have to get out of bed.
To fuck, its the opposite.
We all know that bed is better than nowhere.
Therefore while fucking,
*"We exercise while we are, where we are best"*
4.- Running requires great effort and gives little pleasure.
Fucking gives enormous pleasure and the effort is minimal.
So while fucking, we experience how to,
*"Make the most of it with the minimum effort"*
5.- After running, you end up exhausted and your knees and legs hurt.
However, after fucking, you have a smile from ear to ear!
It is clear that through fucking *"we discover the joy of living"*
6.- If they call you to run, you will almost never go.
Now, if they call you to fuck? ...
Ahhhhhhhh! ... Right ?!!!. You will reach on time.
It is clear, *fuck "increases punctuality."*
7.- Another very important reason is that after running you do not feel like repeating the race.
But, after fucking, you want to repeat again. Yes or no?!!!
So, through fucking *we achieve "true interest in what is done and promotes the value of perseverance."*
So the winner is a 'Fuck' anytime!
send it to 10 people and you will be blessed with a nice fuck! ...
__________________
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Please do not post when you PM somebody
Please Do Not reply long post, always edit...
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Doing any kind of exercise is excellent for your health. But, for those who still have doubts when choosing, here you will find 7 good reasons to decide between Running or Fucking.
Doing any kind of exercise is excellent for your health. But, for those who still have doubts when choosing, here you will find 7 good reasons to decide between Running or Fucking.
1.- When you run, you usually go alone. If you go with someone you just want to run faster than the other.
Fucking? No. You always try to reach the goal together.
*Therefore, fuck "Develops teamwork and avoids selfishness."*
2.- To run you have to buy a lot of clothes that, normally, is quite expensive.
However, to fuck, just take off the one you're wearing.
As you can see, *fucking "encourages saving, and avoids consumerism"*
3.- To run
You have to get out of bed.
To fuck, its the opposite.
We all know that bed is better than nowhere.
Therefore while fucking,
*"We exercise while we are, where we are best"*
4.- Running requires great effort and gives little pleasure.
Fucking gives enormous pleasure and the effort is minimal.
So while fucking, we experience how to,
*"Make the most of it with the minimum effort"*
5.- After running, you end up exhausted and your knees and legs hurt.
However, after fucking, you have a smile from ear to ear!
It is clear that through fucking *"we discover the joy of living"*
6.- If they call you to run, you will almost never go.
Now, if they call you to fuck? ...
Ahhhhhhhh! ... Right ?!!!. You will reach on time.
It is clear, *fuck "increases punctuality."*
7.- Another very important reason is that after running you do not feel like repeating the race.
But, after fucking, you want to repeat again. Yes or no?!!!
So, through fucking *we achieve "true interest in what is done and promotes the value of perseverance."*
So the winner is a 'Fuck' anytime!
send it to 10 people and you will be blessed with a nice fuck! ...
Doing any kind of exercise is excellent for your health. But, for those who still have doubts when choosing, here you will find 7 good reasons to decide between Running or Fucking.
.
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special."
The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $50,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement
"I'll take it!" Declared the old man.
The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon."
Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "Sir, there's NO money in that account!"
The old man said, "I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!"
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special."
The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $50,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement
"I'll take it!" Declared the old man.
The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon."
Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "Sir, there's NO money in that account!"
The old man said, "I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!"
Upped for nice joke.
__________________ Any jia lat or si buey jia lat stories please post here
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he wanted a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and found a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something much more special."
The jeweler went to his special stock in the safe and brought another ring back. "This one's $50,000." The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement
"I'll take it!" Declared the old man.
The jeweler asked how payment would be made, and the old man said, "By check, but I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday to verify funds. I'll pick up the ring on Monday afternoon."
Monday morning, the jeweler called the old man saying, "Sir, there's NO money in that account!"
The old man said, "I know I know, but let me tell you about the weekend I just had!"
10-03-2019, 04:40 PM
