The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[alwong]

Originally Posted by MiniHawk

bros, something to share.

要学会珍惜身边的人哦 !!
老婆的最后一條短信----> 看到你流淚
珍惜自己的所爱
世界上没有後悔药
妻子是个小尾巴，我走到哪里她都要问到哪里。我厌烦，她却乐此不疲。可是，这个小尾巴却在那个下着大雨的深 夜永远消失了……
我的心情非常难过，内心充满了内疚和痛楚，我无法原谅自己的过错。
结婚那天，老婆用买戒指的钱给我买了一款手机。那天夜里，我们两人在被窝里一遍遍地调试着手机的响铃。我们 觉得，生活就像这铃声，响亮、悦耳，充满着憧憬和希望。从那天开始，我常常接到她的电话： " 老公，下班了买点菜回家。""老公，我想你，我爱你。""老公，晚上一起去妈妈家吃饭。"我的心里十分温暖 。有一次，我忘了给手机充电，又恰好陪领导到基层，应酬到半夜才回到家，推开房门一看，我发现老婆早已哭红 了眼睛。原来从我下班时间开始，她每隔一刻钟就打一次电话，我都不在服务区。老婆更加着急，总以为发生了什 么意外，后来每隔十分钟打一次，直到我推开家门，她刚把话筒放下。我对老婆的小题大做不以为然 ： "我又不是小孩子，还能出什么事情？"老婆却说有一种预感，觉得我不接电话就不会回来了，我拍拍老婆的脑袋 ，笑了： "傻瓜！"不过，从此以后我一直没有忘记及时给手机充电。
后来我升了职，有了钱，手机换了好几个。突然有一天，我想起欠着老婆的那枚戒指，便兴冲冲地拉她去商厦。可 是她又犹豫了，说： "白金钻戒套在手指上有什么用啊？给我买个手机好吗？我可以经常跟你联系。"于是我就给她买了一个 手机。
那天，我们一个在卧室，一个在客厅，互相发着短信息，玩得高兴极了。
一天夜里，我和同事到朋友家玩牌，正玩在兴头上，老婆打来了电话： "你在哪里？怎么还不回家？""我在同事家里玩牌。"" 你什么时候回来？ ""呆会儿吧。"输了赢，赢了输，老婆的电话打了一次又一次。外面下起了大雨，老婆的电话又响了： "你究竟在哪里？在干什么？快回来！""没告诉你吗？我在同事家玩，下这么大的雨我怎么回去！""那你告诉 我你在什么地方，我来接你！ "" 不用了！"一起打牌的朋友都嘲笑我"妻管严 " ，一气之下，我把手机关了。
天亮了，我输得两手空空，朋友用车子把我送回家，不料家门紧锁，老婆不在家。就在这时，电话响了，是岳母打 来的，电话那头哭着说：她深夜冒着雨出来，骑着自行车，带着雨伞去我同事家找，找了一家又一家，路上出了车 祸，再也没有醒来。
我打开手机，只见上面有一条未读留言："你忘记了吗？今天是我们的结婚周年纪念曰呀！我去找你了，别乱跑， 我带着伞！ "她走在找我的路上，永远不会再醒来了。我泪流满面，一遍遍看着这条短信息，我觉得那一个晚上我输了整个世 界。
老婆去世已经 3 个月，可我仍然无法从噩梦中醒来，我不想工作，整曰消沉萎靡，并且一次次想到了陪她而去……

转贴此文章的目的，就是要大家都学会珍惜！
不要让爱你的人受到一丝一毫的伤害！
不要等到失去了，才痛不欲生！

如果，你感动了，
就请顶一下，不要让它沉下去。。
让更多的人看到它！
让更多的人学会珍惜！

Thanks for sharing this article，it is very touching. How I wish 我也有一个娇妻催我快点回家陪他。Probably it would be just a dream for me.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

meanwhile, i still view the system as not really a fair deal, since its being abused in present day context.

back then, the charter was drafted to protect the women (i acknowledge)... cos it was largely the men who're the bread-winners. so in the event of a divorce, the women r left stranded. however, may need some adjustments & fine tuning in present day context, since the women are financially independant.

FYI, its not always guaranteed that the wife has automatic custody, if there's any child(ren), the court will discern who can afford & better provide for the child(ren)

at the rate that women are filing for divorce (over trivial matters) these days, really seem to suggest that marriage has indeed become a game.

p.s.: though i dont expect u to agree, since its never your style.

What a joke. It's easy to blame the women when the marriage don't work. Please ask yourself. Marriage is a 2-way thing. You marry, she agree.
When the marriage don't work, it is always simple to say she is in the wrong, you can say you are in the right. Or you want tell us, the men is always right and never wrong?

1) If today your dad leaves your mum when you are young, you think your mum can singlehandedly raise you and put you thru school? Or do you think that with the women's charter in place, your dad will have to pay her maintenance and yours too and make things easier for your mum? You think your mum will have an easier life or worst life without the women's charter?

2) If today your sister marries an abusive gambler, do you think she needs the women's charter to protect her and get her rights for her or do you think you can fend her off from her abusive husband?

3) If today you like this divorcee who happens to have this kid with her. Her ex-husband does not lift a finger to help or give her a single cent all because there is no women's charter to protect her interest. Do you think she will need that added support from her ex-husband?

4) Is your mother a woman? If she is, then you definitely need the woman's charter to protect them.

Think not out of your own perspective. But think of their shoes as well.

And seriously, if you always want to think of women's charter before getting married, then don't get married to women. Get married to a men, then you got no women's charter to worry about.

Haven't marry think of divorce. People here so damn funny.

SC

[JWNY]

See...i told you guys my thread is right, the one you marry is not the one you love most

SC >> think you have brought up some nice points as we can relate to your real-time examples.

However, it is true that sometimes the Women Charter is seen as a "loophole" for some.

How many times has a person married out of convenience these days?

Imagine, a night of passion, and then the bombshell drops...a damsel in distress is pregnant, the "right" thing to do might be to marry her...but then again, is that kind of thinking too 18th century? Is there a right or wrong? What happens if either of the 2 does not want to keep the child, for whatever reasons. Financially not ready or too young to start maybe?

We have seen many who did the "right" thing, live to regret this painful decision the rest of their lives...it is no one's fault except their own, but sometimes doing the right thing doesn't make us happy.

...and someone who has a trust fund somewhere, too much money, he doesn't trust his mum let alone another woman. Would he be judged to be over-zealous to protect his own interests? There are women who "marry out of convenience" too...the marry (your money) first, love (your heart) later syndrome?

Anyway SC, i'm just saying...as a subject of discussion, your examples are good, to the point where the guy is a real hopeless...and the Charter would protect some financial elements for the lady. But what happens, when the tables are turned and the lady is a real bitch?

As in Su's context, it is somewhat true as well, in our parents era, women had true virtue and values. Nowadays, they are smarter and have a higher disposable income...do they really need a man's money?

Reason i was intrigued to speak, is because i know a guy (one of maybe the minority) who has suffered a turbulent marriage. He has 2 kids with his first wife...they didn't see eye to eye much. After their divorce, he did continue to support his kids till date...as he grew older, he longed for companionship and married his 2nd wife late on, who also had her own child from her previous failed marriage as well.

His 2 kids, let alone his wife, cannot hold a candle to his 2nd family though in terms of academics and financial stability. His current wife is a top executive and step-son makes him beam as a high flyer in the corporate world. Sad to say, his previous wife is still the same and the 2 kids, did not finish a proper education and the younger one still rely's on daddy moolah now and then. His ex-wife too...but that is not the issue (not that it matters to him, but by obligation, he doesn't have to)

My comparison is just that some people take it for granted (loophole)...

JWNY

[Red_Tirak1099]

Now when newlywed couple exchange wedding vows, how many actually understand the true & sacred meaning of these words?

to have & to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

What a joke. It's easy to blame the women when the marriage don't work. Please ask yourself. Marriage is a 2-way thing. You marry, she agree.........

1) If today your dad leaves your mum when you are young, you think your mum can singlehandedly raise you and put you thru school? Or do you think that with the women's charter in place, your dad will have to pay her maintenance and yours too and make things easier for your mum? You think your mum will have an easier life or worst life without the women's charter?

well, then i offer u the other side of the coin. if your mother is a working woman who is financially independant, and just because she doesnt feel like fulfilling her duties in the home, she files for divorce using irreconcilable differences, and automatically gets a split of the assets that your dad paid most of it for... do u think its fair for your dad?

Originally Posted by siamcutey

2) If today your sister marries an abusive gambler, do you think she needs the women's charter to protect her and get her rights for her or do you think you can fend her off from her abusive husband?

what if your sister was the pathalogical gambler who's the cause that the family is running into debts, while your brother-in-law was the 1 who's sweating & bleeding to keep the family intact? do you think in the case of a divorce, the brother-in-law is able to demand any form of compensation or alimony after being awarded custody of the kid(s)?

Originally Posted by siamcutey

3) If today you like this divorcee who happens to have this kid with her. Her ex-husband does not lift a finger to help or give her a single cent all because there is no women's charter to protect her interest. Do you think she will need that added support from her ex-husband?

what if you're the 1 who's the custody of the kids after your previously failed marriage, and a new woman comes along... and u wind up in a new marriage with yet another woman's charter to remind you of your nightmare??? i'm curious to know if u can still get a grip of the situation...

Originally Posted by siamcutey

4) Is your mother a woman? If she is, then you definitely need the woman's charter to protect them.

in this present day & age, with or without the woman's charter is not an issue anymore. there's pre-nuptial & all other legal papers to set things right, in the event of divorce and/or premature death of either spouse...

Originally Posted by siamcutey

And seriously, if you always want to think of women's charter before getting married, then don't get married to women. Get married to a men, then you got no women's charter to worry about.

systems & 'rules of the game' may be fixed, but we're alive & flexible... we need not be bound by the 'rules of the game'

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Haven't marry think of divorce. People here so damn funny.

better than thinking it a fantasy & be caught balls in mouth, when the event eventually takes place... in case u still dunno... i always try to keep myself informed of consequences, prior to making any rash decisions.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Red_Tirak1099

Now when newlywed couple exchange wedding vows, how many actually understand the true & sacred meaning of these words?

to have & to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live

LOL... that's probably because, alot of our gals grew up watching snow white & the 7 dwarves, and the song '' remained deeply sunken in their skulls, believing they'd be marrying a knight riding the white stallion coming to her rescue... so she can live the hi-life... as a modern up mkt tai-tai.

then again, in the marriage vows, i'm sure they've their own interpretations:
to have & to hold (once u're mine, u're mine, everything u own is mine), from this day forward, for better or for worse (better not flip when i start revealing my true colors), for richer or for poorer (no matter more $ or less $... what's your's is mine, what's mine is mine), in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live (but before u die, u better ensure that you nominate me to inherit your CPF and/or insurance compensation)

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

[SIZE="1"]well, then i offer u the other side of the coin. if your mother is a working woman who is financially independant, and just because she doesnt feel like fulfilling her duties in the home, she files for divorce using irreconcilable differences, and automatically gets a split of the assets that your dad paid most of it for... do u think its fair for your dad?

How about showing any precedence in Singapore Law where the courts have ruled in the woman's favour?

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

what if your sister was the pathalogical gambler who's the cause that the family is running into debts, while your brother-in-law was the 1 who's sweating & bleeding to keep the family intact? do you think in the case of a divorce, the brother-in-law is able to demand any form of compensation or alimony after being awarded custody of the kid(s)?

Any precedence too?

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

what if you're the 1 who's the custody of the kids after your previously failed marriage, and a new woman comes along... and u wind up in a new marriage with yet another woman's charter to remind you of your nightmare??? i'm curious to know if u can still get a grip of the situation...

I see, you go 1 big round, I knew it. You don't need a wife to share your assets.
You just need a prostitute to let you be able to fulfil your sexual needs. You pay her, fuck her, and you don't even need to let her stay in your house.
If you want someone to wash your clothes, cook for your kids, maybe you can pay her too. I am sure the prostitute will not refuse if you offer her some money in exchange for services which does not require her to sell her body.

BEST OF ALL, YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN'S CHARTER.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by JWNY

See...i told you guys my thread is right, the one you marry is not the one you love most

However, it is true that sometimes the Women Charter is seen as a "loophole" for some.

How many times has a person married out of convenience these days?

Imagine, a night of passion, and then the bombshell drops...a damsel in distress is pregnant, the "right" thing to do might be to marry her...but then again, is that kind of thinking too 18th century? Is there a right or wrong? What happens if either of the 2 does not want to keep the child, for whatever reasons. Financially not ready or too young to start maybe?

We have seen many who did the "right" thing, live to regret this painful decision the rest of their lives...it is no one's fault except their own, but sometimes doing the right thing doesn't make us happy.

It is between both parties who wish to continue going on after a marriage or to go for the abortion. It is not for you and me to decide. It is for them to make their choice.
There is no right or wrong. Both parties have to live with the decision they make.

You wouldn't know, maybe they are happy together.
For every couple who got married, and they may not love each other the most;
there will be another couple who got married, and they love each other the most.

Originally Posted by JWNY

Anyway SC, i'm just saying...as a subject of discussion, your examples are good, to the point where the guy is a real hopeless...and the Charter would protect some financial elements for the lady. But what happens, when the tables are turned and the lady is a real bitch?

As in Su's context, it is somewhat true as well, in our parents era, women had true virtue and values. Nowadays, they are smarter and have a higher disposable income...do they really need a man's money?

Reason i was intrigued to speak, is because i know a guy (one of maybe the minority) who has suffered a turbulent marriage. He has 2 kids with his first wife...they didn't see eye to eye much. After their divorce, he did continue to support his kids till date...as he grew older, he longed for companionship and married his 2nd wife late on, who also had her own child from her previous failed marriage as well.

His 2 kids, let alone his wife, cannot hold a candle to his 2nd family though in terms of academics and financial stability. His current wife is a top executive and step-son makes him beam as a high flyer in the corporate world. Sad to say, his previous wife is still the same and the 2 kids, did not finish a proper education and the younger one still rely's on daddy moolah now and then. His ex-wife too...but that is not the issue (not that it matters to him, but by obligation, he doesn't have to)
My comparison is just that some people take it for granted (loophole)...

JWNY

Before I continue the post,

the 2 kids from his 1st marriage resulted from his sperm swimming to his 1st wife's egg. Meaning to say the 2 kids are part of him too. His flesh and blood. What kind of person shirk responsibilty? The reason for the women's charter is because there are just too many people out there who simply are irresponsible. The law is made because of these people. If people can take up that moral obligation to do what they should do, the women's charter is simply redundant.

End of the day, you may say with the women's charter the 2 kids just take the money and ex-wife just depend on his money and they do not have further aims to improve lifes further or even get a job.

Why don't take a look this way, if you turn back the clock and without the women's charter, where will the 2 kids develop? The wife might have to steal and rob to bring bread to the kids. The kids might even become worst off than what they are today.

For every cause there is a reason. It is a cycle. Trying to change it will get you a different result. But do you think it will be a better result?

If you ask me, if my marriage end up in divorce and I have kids in my marriage, will I take up the responsibility to feed them. I will. I don't need the women's charter to remind me what I should do. Neither should anyone out there. It's because of human actions and lack of such charter in the past, that is why the women's charter is set out for these people.

If the women is financially capable and the man is sibei chum, take it up through the courts. The IR8A, job occupation, assets etc do not run. Some people may see the women's charter as taking away a part of the assets from the men. It's a fair deal. Without the women taking care of the kids, in order for the men to concentrate fully on work and bring the dough home, will these very same men achieve the same achievements?


I wouldn't say because I am a man then I must speak out for man and not the woman. Let's touch our own hearts and speak in terms of fairness.

My avatar though showing a blackheart, at the very least I still have a heart. Some comments I read in this thread, some people out there are SIMPLY HEARTLESS.


SC

[pfingo]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

If you ask me, if my marriage end up in divorce and I have kids in my marriage, will I take up the responsibility to feed them. I will. I don't need the women's charter to remind me what I should do. Neither should anyone out there. It's because of human actions and lack of such charter in the past, that is why the women's charter is set out for these people.

agree bro with u

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

How about showing any precedence in Singapore Law where the courts have ruled in the woman's favour?

precedence? well, i've already seen with my own eyes, how a blissful marriage turned disastrous, when the woman changed her mind as quick as she change her hairdo.... no need for me to go into the details. i'm sure the readers here have seen & heard of such cases too. as far as i'm concerned, its becoming a trend at an escalating rate - at the end, who loses out? the sgporean men.

Originally Posted by siamcutey

You don't need a wife to share your assets.
You just need a prostitute to let you be able to fulfil your sexual needs. You pay her, fuck her, and you don't even need to let her stay in your house.... BEST OF ALL, YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN'S CHARTER.

SC

LOL.. whore or no whore, a woman is still a woman, she'd decide when & with whom to marry eventually.

meanwhile, if not agreeable with the charter, there's other options to consider, and if need be, can always marry overseas - have your the pre-nuptials endorsed, in place of the charter.

a spouse is a lifelong partner, who'd weather the good & bad days with, that i intend to have. if all u can think of a spouse; is only for f*cks sake & chores to be done... u might as well marry & screw a maid?

quite obvious where u're headed for in marriage... i'll leave the readers to speculate for themselves... LOL

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

...... Without the women taking care of the kids, in order for the men to concentrate fully on work and bring the dough home, will these very same men achieve the same achievements?

welcome to the 21st century, we're 7yrs past the millenium, and the 8th yr approaching. gone r the days, where the man does the breadwinning & the woman stays home to be the homemaker, nurse & nurture the kids.

in present day context, when the (financially independant) woman walks out on her family - filing for irreconcileable differences, gladly give the ex-husband full custody of the kids.... so that she can move on with her new life (found man).

ironic it seems, bt in the given scenario, why shouldnt the woman be paying her ex-husband alimony, since she's the 1 walking out of the family? have u ever queried y the charter seems to be 1-sided? or should it be updated with the current times instead?

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

The reason for the women's charter is because there are just too many people out there who simply are irresponsible. The law is made because of these people. If people can take up that moral obligation to do what they should do, the women's charter is simply redundant.

Just curious, what about those people who are over 50? As in, to the man, his kids are grown up and his wife is unable to provide his sexual needs...morally, is it wrong for the man to find a younger choice?

JWNY

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

welcome to the 21st century, we're 7yrs past the millenium, and the 8th yr approaching. gone r the days, where the man does the breadwinning & the woman stays home to be the homemaker, nurse & nurture the kids.

in present day context, when the (financially independant) woman walks out on her family - filing for irreconcileable differences, gladly give the ex-husband full custody of the kids.... so that she can move on with her new life (found man).

ironic it seems, bt in the given scenario, why shouldnt the woman be paying her ex-husband alimony, since she's the 1 walking out of the family? have u ever queried y the charter seems to be 1-sided? or should it be updated with the current times instead?

When the wife stay at home look after kids, you kaopeh
When the wife(financial independent) go out work, you also kaopeh.
So why not you tell us, what kind of wife you want?

If today your wife walks out on you as she is the breadwinner while you are the homemaker, throwing 2 kids to you as custody, you are free to engage a lawyer to fight for maintenance and alimony. Few are doing it, and not many are going to do it.
Use a better lawyer don't scrimp on cheapskate lawyers with cheap rates. The better ones normally cost more and they seldom lose their case.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by JWNY

Just curious, what about those people who are over 50? As in, to the man, his kids are grown up and his wife is unable to provide his sexual needs...morally, is it wrong for the man to find a younger choice?

JWNY

Maybe you just need to ask yourself and put yourself in their shoes, if today the man is your father while you are grown up. Your mum no longer able to provide sexual needs, from your point of view as a son, is it wrong for your father to find a younger choice? How would you feel for your poor mother?
If is my father, I think it is wrong. What is there to think?

It is just like jaywalking across the stretch of geylang road. So many men, FLs jaywalk the busy street everyday. You want ask is it wrong? Of course it is wrong but doesn't mean that many are doing it means they are right.

And if you ask those who jaywalk, do they themselves think its right or wrong?

SC

[Red_Tirak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

....Use a better lawyer don't scrimp on cheapskate lawyers with cheap rates. The better ones normally cost more and they seldom lose their case.

This line I dont fully agree.....FOC pro bono ones like Subhash Anandan also seldom lose...kekeke