Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

From a Sikh in Singapore 👇

Don’t pray pray with Covid19 according to Phua Chu Kang aka Gurmit Singh. The Indian variant is so transmissible that even if you received the Pun jab you must not be off-guard to be Relax Singh.

If you catch Covid and fall Sikh, you may not only lose your smell of curry but end up in a korma in the hospital ICU where oxygen availability is naan.

It is amaz-singh if you think only Sikh patients can be admitted to Tan Tock Singh Hospital here in Singhapore!

From an anti-vaxxer Sikh: “One of the side-effects of the vaccine from Pun-jab, may make my head go Kepala Pu-Singh! You still have to be social distan-Singh with no relax-Singh ... isn’t this amaz-Singh?"

😂😊🎉🤣👏🏻

[umbrage]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

From a Sikh in Singapore 👇

Don’t pray pray with Covid19 according to Phua Chu Kang aka Gurmit Singh. The Indian variant is so transmissible that even if you received the Pun jab you must not be off-guard to be Relax Singh.

If you catch Covid and fall Sikh, you may not only lose your smell of curry but end up in a korma in the hospital ICU where oxygen availability is naan.

It is amaz-singh if you think only Sikh patients can be admitted to Tan Tock Singh Hospital here in Singhapore!

From an anti-vaxxer Sikh: “One of the side-effects of the vaccine from Pun-jab, may make my head go Kepala Pu-Singh! You still have to be social distan-Singh with no relax-Singh ... isn’t this amaz-Singh?"

😂😊🎉🤣👏🏻

Very imaginative and good jokes. Thanks.

[mazdatyre]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

While trying to avoid hitting a dog, I lost control of my two wheeler and landed in a ditch by the side of road. With some difficulty, as I crawled out of the ditch, a beautiful woman who had stopped her car and came to help me asked "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up.

She said, “Come, get in my car. I’ll take you to my place that is only few blocks away. You can clean up, and then I will examine to confirm that you are not hurt.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come on, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "We need to see if you have any scrapes and treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very kind. I could not say no, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place and after cleaning up, she examining me to confirm that I do not have any major injury and then offered a drink. We had couple of drinks, but all along I was feeling guilty and finally told her, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. I suppose, she must be at home, right?"

"Well, not really. She must be still in the ditch." 😉

*Men will be Men*

At least he did not fuck then leave

[Hurricane88]

Aseng, walked into Restaurant and shouted his order : ”Give me ox tail soup special and then give everybody wagyu beef steak, because when I eat, I want everyone to eat too!”

The waiter processed his requests and gave him his meal and everyone else their meals.

When they finished enjoying their meals he shouted another order : ”Serve me a drink of gin and tonic and give everybody else a bottle of Macallan whisky, because when I drink, I want everybody to drink too!”

Everyone was happy and started singing his praises, saying Aseng is “The Good Man”.

When Aseng finished his drink he shouted again : “Give me my bill and give everybody else their own bill, because when I pay, I want everybody to pay too."

Aseng's funeral is tomorrow at 10:00 am. Lorong Ah Seng CB.

😃🤣😆

[Hurricane88]

*Today is World Happy Husband Day.*
Let us keep *2 minutes silence* and read some quotes of great personalities.

*First quote*
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– *Al Gore*

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– *Socrates*

Wife inspires us to great things and prevent us from achieving them.
– *Mike Tyson*

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
– *Bill Clinton*

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
– *Michael Jordan*

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– *Barack Obama*

When you are in love,
wonders happen.
But once you get married, you wonder, what happened.
- *Steve Jobs*

And the best one is…

Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by Beautiful Deer.
- *Brad Pitt*

*World Happy Husband Day !!* 💐😀🎉😇🎊😅
*Laughter Therapy* 😂😁😜🤣

While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents,
"I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life".

Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents like "I will keep your son happy for the rest of his life"????

Nooo.... because women don't tell lies! 😀😜

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Husband says: Don’t let the animal in me come out!
Wife replies: Who’s afraid of a mouse??

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Son : Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Son: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me, you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “i am talking to my wife!”

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.. She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot.”

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Position of a husband is just like a Split Aircon, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Husband to wife : U should learn to embrace your mistakes…..
She hugged him immediately.
-----
😝😂🤣😜
Share to make others smile...laughter works like medicine! ✌✌✌✌🤩🤩🤩

[Masterl23]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A refresher....
Some great sexy sayings:
"You cannot taste me, until you undress me"
- Banana
"You cannot eat me unless you lick me"
- Ice cream
"You can not play with me unless you blow me"
- Balloon
"You cannot enjoy me unless you suck me"
- Lollypop
"You make me wet & put me in your mouth everyday"
- Toothbrush
And the most killer one!
"You cannot enjoy me unless you spread me"
- Butter
Don't laugh alone share with others.

Good share bro.

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block?
I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'

You'll love this !!!!!!!!! .

The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.' 😂😂😂😂

[SBMEDSUP]

I better dun take my dog out.
Pls share more jokes thanks.

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by SBMEDSUP

I better dun take my dog out.
Pls share more jokes thanks.

why not?
just remember to close the petrol hole door when you take it out...

[yesboyz]

Originally Posted by SBMEDSUP

I better dun take my dog out.
Pls share more jokes thanks.

Can take your dog out anytime, but not your bitch

[Hurricane88]

[jamu]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Haha good one bro!

[ah rat]

_____________

[Hurricane88]

You may like the joke:

Alzheimer's test to be taken regularly by all Men above 50.
Test yourself to see if you got Alzheimer’s Disease.

If you are over 50 years,
you SHOULD take this
Alzheimer's Test.

How fast can you guess these words correctly and fill-in the blanks ?

*1. _ _NDOM*

*2. F_ _K*

*3. P_N_S*

*4. PU_S_*

*5. S_X*

*6. BOO_S*






*Answers :*

*1. RANDOM*

*2. FORK*

*3. PANTS*

*4. PULSE*

*5. SIX*

*6. BOOKS*

You got all 6 wrong...didn't you ?

You do NOT have Alzheimer's

You are still naughty like you
were at twenty !

Keep Well and Keep Smiling 😁

Today’s education is over.