Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Tiger168]

Thanks for sharing

[Orange22]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very good one bro!

[Tiger168]

Good morning bros and sis.

[Kianight]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Carlsberg is good. Avoid Chevrolet.

[Hurricane88]

[Masterl23]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Nice share bro, look forward to more.

[fallen11]

nice jokes for the new year

[dyelook]

Gong Xi Fatt Chai bumps...

[Hurricane88]

One day a Traffic Policeman was checking the homework of his two children. He checked the homework of the eldest for a long time and started quarreling and abusing for making stupid and silly mistakes on the assignments.
After that he took the one for the youngest, checked it for few seconds, closed it, returned it and walked away.
The eldest got surprised and asked his younger brother (“Are you all that bright and clever? Why didn’t dad even questioned your homework?”)
The younger brother told him (“I inserted 10 Dollars inside the book, or have you forgotten that dad is a traffic police officer!!!”) What do you expect……………………!!!!

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

One day a Traffic Policeman was checking the homework of his two children. He checked the homework of the eldest for a long time and started quarreling and abusing for making stupid and silly mistakes on the assignments.
After that he took the one for the youngest, checked it for few seconds, closed it, returned it and walked away.
The eldest got surprised and asked his younger brother (“Are you all that bright and clever? Why didn’t dad even questioned your homework?”)
The younger brother told him (“I inserted 10 Dollars inside the book, or have you forgotten that dad is a traffic police officer!!!”) What do you expect……………………!!!!

Lidat father can?

[Hurricane88]

A Sikh man is walking along Jalan Bukit Bintang, in Kuala Lumpur one night
and a very gorgeous girl catches his eye.

He strikes up a conversation with her, and quickly discovers that she is one
of those "exclusive" ladies-of-the-trade.

"How much do you charge?", asks Gerdial Singh

Mary replies, "It starts at 500 ringgit for a hand-job."

Gerdial says, "500 ringgit for a hand-job? No hand-job is worth that kind
of money!"

With a saucy flick of her eyelashes, Mary says, "Do you see that Mary
Restaurant on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the next Mary's about another block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see the third Mary's, just by the side of the old
Cathay cinema?"

"Yes."

"Well," says Mary, smiling invitingly, "I own those.

And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth 500 ringgit."

Gerdial then exclaims, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it
a try."

They retire to the nearby Marriott Hotel.

A short time later, Mr Gerdial Singh is sitting on the bed realising that he
just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of 500 ringgit.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is 1,000 ringgit?"

Mary replies, "RM1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"

Mary then says, while signalling Gerdial to come closer to her.

"Come closer to this window, big boy. Do you see that bank just across the
junction to Jalan Sultan Ismail?

I own that bank outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's
worth every sen of 1,500 ringgit !"

And poor Gerdial, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job,
decides to put off his intended new mobile phone and says, "Give it to me
!!!"

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

Mr Singh can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's
worth.

He decides to dip into what else he may have left with him for one more
glorious and unforgettable experience.

He then asks Mary,"How much for some pussy?"

Mary replies, "Come over here to this other window, I want to show you
something.

Do you see how the whole city of Kuala Lumpur is laid out before us .....
all those beautiful lights, banks .... corporate offices .... business
houses ..... and big-&-small shops and places?"

"Wowwww !!" Gerdial shouts out in awe, "You own the whole city ??"

"No," Mary replies, "but I would if I had a pussy.

[Hurricane88]

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very true and thanks for nice joke

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[warbird]

Good evening,

What an auspicious night!

This 80 yo man's grandpa is my role model.


An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.```

The doctor was surprised to see his happy demeanour.
Asked--

'What is the secret of your good health ....?'

'I get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling and then come back and drink a bottle of Guinness Stout!
Maybe this is the secret of my health. '

Doctor - 'Okay, but can I ask you how old was your father when he died ...?'

- 'My father died ...!!
Who told you that he died.

Doctor (surprised): - 'You mean that you are 80 years old and your father is still alive ...?

So how old is he now ....? '

- 'He is 102 years old and cycled with me this morning and then took a bottle of stout'

Doctor - 'This is very good. This means that the long life is in your family's genes.

So how old was your grandfather when he died….?

--- 'Hey why are you killing my grandfather now ...?'

Doctor (puzzled) -

'You mean that you are 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive very much!

What is his age .....? '

--- 'Yes, he is 123 years old.'

--- 'I think he too must have cycled with you this morning and taken stout too .....?'

'Take a cold breath!

No, Grandpa could not go this morning, because he is getting married today.

Doctor (on the verge of going mad)

'Why would he want to get married at the age of 123…?

--- 'Who said he wanted to get married ....?

He had to be forced.

- 'But why ........ Doctor shouted!

- 'The Girl is pregnant, that's why!'

The doctor has been cycling regularly and drinking stout ever since.

The clinic is closed.

This lunar year welcomes the dynamic partnership of Guinness & Tiger.

Kong Hee Fatt Chai.

May we all have continued good health in the year of the Hari-Harimau
🐅 🐅 🐅



Happy Lunar New Year to everyone!

Huat Ah!!

Bro WB