Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by shysaint

It depends how u define the word ..

I agreed with vietboy said ... x% is just a number ... no one can really define the actual % of level .... thats the main reason I said trust is earn and not cultivate ...

Simple analogy ... that's how how brain works and the phychological part ...

Hi Bro,

Sorry to say that, however your previous post are defining your trust level with your bx in % level leh

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by vietboy

Well said bro.
I agreed with u mot cham % especially the last part!

I believed have to trust yur life partner, doesnt have to be 100% but if no trust, why marry someone that we don't trust?

yes...never trust 100%...just like what bro SingViet does...take your time to observe and trust...dun trust 100% immediately...

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Golden question

since the topic is now on trust,i would like to share an incident.That day i was suppose to meet my wife and her friend for dinner.As i was early,i went to nearby shopping mall to walk walk and cool down.suddenly i saw my wife infront so i was thinking of scare her so i walk faster.

when i was nearer,i saw her talking to a man and gesture on her handphone to him and i quickly walk behind her without her noticing.i climb up the escalator and go 2nd level to 'biao' on her from upstairs and see what she is doing.

she was talking to that man and after 3 minute,that man went off and her friend came out from the shop and they left.During dinner,i did not ask her anything cos i think i should give her own personal private c.

As long as dont cross my line,i am fine but once cross,example i saw her touch here touch there with that man that day,then bye bye for her

like what shysaint say,only u know your wife and i agreed that dont say u know your wife inside out cos everybody thinking change at different stage

So learn to know what strong point and weakness point that your wife have.

If for me, i sure ask who is the guy. But i'll trust what my bx tell me.
But if like u said, if got touchy touchy, i'll probe further.

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by batty

Any bro who married a Vietnamese wife, if you left small amounts of money in your house, will your money still be there or will your wife take it? When you ask her if she had seen your money, she answered that she needed it for marketing and forgot to tell you she had taken it.

Again this is a matter of trust, if u trust yur wife, u'll believe n take wat she told u. My wife usually will ask, she wont just take. I remembered i once left $1400 at our cabinet, 1 mth later it is still there. My wife even ask me why is there money n why i yet to bank it in.

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Blast88

Hi Bro SS,

Your post somehow agreed with me 'trust' need be to cultivate & take time to increase the 'trust' indicator depending of what scenerio that happened around U. My personal experience tell me even U 100% trust to your bx, however she will still hold back some & will never trust U 100%

That is why trust have be gained on both side. No point one side trust, the other side dont. I agreed it will never be 100% as nothing in this world is perfect.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Blast88

Hi Bro,

Sorry to say that, however your previous post are defining your trust level with your bx in % level leh

Yes I mentioned numbers ... because YOU mentioned 1. whether can we 100% trust our spouse ... 2. even if u 100% trust to your bx ...

u mentioned numbers .. so I share the number loh ....

I am just sharing in reality, we cannot measured the level in number of % ...

so if I mentioned earlier that it cannot be measured by numbers of % ... then there will be contest ... again ...

sighzzz ....

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Blast88

Hi Bro GQ,

Your story is one of the typical example of 100% trust. I think every one have their own definition of 'understanding' their bx, for me it simply her habit, preference, personality, temperamental & the most difficult parts to understand is her mindset, her mood change suddenly like our weather

Like wat bro GQ said, 女人心，海底针。
Also, they mood changes especially during that time of the month. We as husband need to understand this cos only we knows our wife best. I always give in to my wife on that period of the month.

[shysaint]

Who I know here for sometime have not join us in facebook ?

We are now organising a bbq picnic gathering for us to catch up in real life and our OCs and little OCs.

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by vietboy

That is why trust have be gained on both side. No point one side trust, the other side dont. I agreed it will never be 100% as nothing in this world is perfect.

Apparently, most bros does not believe in full 100% trust to their bx vice versa, these apply same to your bx as well. Basically, these is a sensitive portion which need to be handle intelligently to maintain & prolong marriage life

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Yes I mentioned numbers ... because YOU mentioned 1. whether can we 100% trust our spouse ... 2. even if u 100% trust to your bx ...

u mentioned numbers .. so I share the number loh ....

I am just sharing in reality, we cannot measured the level in number of % ...

so if I mentioned earlier that it cannot be measured by numbers of % ... then there will be contest ... again ...

sighzzz ....

Hi bro,

Basically, there is no contest, we are just sharing our view. In fact, what we do every day are gaining trust not only to your bx but also to your boss, friends,parents, relative. It neverending

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Blast88

Apparently, most bros does not believe in full 100% trust to their bx vice versa, these apply same to your bx as well. Basically, these is a sensitive portion which need to be handle intelligently to maintain & prolong marriage life

Correct! Seems like u starting to get the big picture that we are discussing here for the past 3-4 pages.

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by vietboy

Correct! Seems like u starting to get the big picture that we are discussing here for the past 3-4 pages.

That why picture is so big so require bros here helping to spot for the pro & con

[SingViet]

Trusting your spouse is necessary to get the relationship going, but trust is earned, not given. I find Singaporean husbands very accommodating to their viet spouse, she can do whatever she wants and the Singaporean husband will not object even if he is not happy. For example, my wife's friend will give her daughter and husband fish sauce to drink when they are down with fever. The husband knows its not right to do that, but he dare not voice out . There are times when we need to voice out and not be taken for a ride. Due to cultural differences, i would say its good to have a lower level of trust during the first few years of marriage. As time passes by, higher level of trust can be given after more time together. Too many bros here see too much positive aspects of viet culture and i will say you are putting yourself at much risk. Don't just know the good, do find out about the bad too. When you start to discover about the negative side of their culture, you will start to feel scary.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

... When you start to discover about the negative side of their culture, you will start to feel scary.

U are absolutely right .... I guess we have been talking about their cultures for a long time ... so bros can accept and some bros can't ...

[asdfghjkl]

Originally Posted by SingViet

When you start to discover about the negative side of their culture, you will start to feel scary.

mind sharing more about this area, esp. the fish sauce.. like to know more about it.