Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[littlemage]

thanks for sharing bros hahaha. Entertained me during work days.

[candeo_88]

Lol..very true...

Originally Posted by dyelook

God appeared in a man's dream and the jobless man asked for a boon...
"I want a job, a room full of money, air-conditioning in my room and a relaxed/ no work atmosphere". He got it all...
He is now a bank ATM guard...

[malaysiapig]

Happy weekend 😄

[ah rat]

_____________

[dyelook]

bumps...
not a joke but just wanna share...

[SirLance]

Nice jokes and thanks.

[Hurricane88]

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
"Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat"
Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*"You do not worry professor. I'll fly away,"*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.


The next day in class he posed the following question:
"Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?"
Without hesitating, Mandela responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."
Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *"Each one takes what he doesn't have."*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela's exam sheet the word *"IDIOT"*
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,
"Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade."

😂😄😆😩🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅😆😆😛😛😂😂😂

Don't mess with intelligent people....pass it on to your intellectual friends....



*Good morning*
May we have the wisdom to respond to our haters, don't hate back but apply wisdom!

Take care of your loved ones

[sss4774]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
"Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat"
Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*"You do not worry professor. I'll fly away,"*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.


The next day in class he posed the following question:
"Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?"
Without hesitating, Mandela responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."
Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *"Each one takes what he doesn't have."*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela's exam sheet the word *"IDIOT"*
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,
"Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade."

😂😄😆😩🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅😆😆😛😛😂😂😂

Don't mess with intelligent people....pass it on to your intellectual friends....



*Good morning*
May we have the wisdom to respond to our haters, don't hate back but apply wisdom!

Take care of your loved ones

wkwkw, good one

[dyelook]

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told her husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.

So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

[Hurricane88]

Are you serious?!!!😲
So, after leaving the drive thru earlier, my wife took her sandwich out of the bag and we see this?!!! Seriously?! 🤬
I went back to the restaurant, marched straight inside (already fuming), asked to speak to the manager and threw the sandwich on the counter. He looked confused, so I pointed at the writing and demanded that he tell me why someone felt the need to write that on my wife's sandwich.
He answered: "Because you ordered a BLT with cheese?"
"Oh", I replied. 😶

[titts82002]

[ah rat]

_________________

[LapSupKia]

Originally Posted by dyelook

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told her husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.

So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

the fuck... hahahaha

[titts82002]

Good night

[ah rat]

__________________