A woman's woes

[missdawnie]

Before anyone start to question whats my intention of this post, I just want to say that I'm sharing and trying to get advice here. As a lady, I'd like to get some feedback or ideas from men and get a different perspective of the situation I'm in now. Thank you !

I've been married to my husband for less than a year now after dating for about 4 years or so. We used to be very sexually active in the beginning of our relationship and somehow or rather, it slowly died off and we would not have sex for as long as 2-3 months. That didn't bother me much because we would be busy with our work and when we're home, we're deadbeat. Recently, I started coming back to read SBF as I have not logged in for the longest time and realized that I've been too sexually inactive. So I start initiating have intimate time with him. He brushed me off saying that he's tired from work and wants to sleep, which of course made me pretty upset..and I tried asking again for the second day in a row, same excuse.

It then came to the weekends, where I'll stay in the bedroom and he would assume that I'm sleeping.. so he'll only come into the bedroom from the living room after a good 1-1.5hrs.. only to find me still awake, and asked causally why I'm still not asleep and with that, flipped over to his side and start snoring.

I really can't understand. He was always the one who initiated because I'm shy most of the time or just didn't have the mood to. But his actions make me feel bad, unattractive and sexually unappealing to him(Not looking for any comfort here). I'm not taking into considerate that he's having an affair as he has never, ever done anything that make me doubt him through out our courtship years and marriage. He's a great men and husband.. but I just don't know how to handle this as I have my needs to and I can't stand going to bed feeling lonely and having precum flow down to my undies.

I did try to sell him the idea of having toys during our intimate time but he's rather conservative about sex and feels that sex should be about making love, and not focus so much about the pleasure involved. The situation's getting so bad there was this random thought of me just getting a FB and all issues would be resolved. I'd be happily married and be sexually satisfied. But I can't afford to give this marriage up. I don't know what to do ):

[hello420]

By nature a man is made to mount as many women as possible to spread his seed as far as possible. Its natural that he loses interest in a woman after sometime to go out an hunt for another one. The concept of marriage an sticking to one woman is triumph of man against his basic nature. Its a miracle.

[sgsingle]

Try taking a short romantic trip together like over the weekends. Go somewhere where there is absolutely nothing to do except staying in the room and the rest will be up to you.

Good luck...

[whitecat]

Sister,

Is he cheating behind your back? There is a chinese old wisdom. Men sex drives is influence by age. 20 year ago , generally is 2 days every shot . 30 year old is 3 day per shot and so on... Or sometime he could be too stress up and lost interest.

Speaking from experience, sometime I get be so stress up by work, I can't do it at all, after a few incidents, I make sure i bang it out before i get too stress up. And since then, sex has become a way for me to distress.

Have a good talk with him or you should I initital the sex, you can always bang him for a start. I think it is very important to have sex regularly for married couple . Hope this not straight idea help.

[chanwil007]

may be you should tell me about how you feel? I too have been with my GF for 5 years lo and the past few years have been quiet sad.... not much happy ending we evening planing to get married soon but then we all have our needs... just sad that she does not have the drive for sex as much as I do... people do change la so really could be work that's why he always has no mood for it, or why try spicing things up may be try talking to him about swinging or 3 some??

all the best to you,

by the way if you really want to eat outside is just be careful don't get caught by friends or faimly la...

[missdawnie]

Try taking a short romantic trip together like over the weekends. Go somewhere where there is absolutely nothing to do except staying in the room and the rest will be up to you.

Good luck...

But we can't keep going for holidays as well. I know where you're coming from and I'm hoping this'a just a phase we're going through.

[missdawnie]

Sister,

Is he cheating behind your back? There is a chinese old wisdom. Men sex drives is influence by age. 20 year ago , generally is 2 days every shot . 30 year old is 3 day per shot and so on... Or sometime he could be too stress up and lost interest.

Speaking from experience, sometime I get be so stress up by work, I can't do it at all, after a few incidents, I make sure i bang it out before i get too stress up. And since then, sex has become a way for me to distress.

Have a good talk with him or you should I initital the sex, you can always bang him for a start. I think it is very important to have sex regularly for married couple . Hope this not straight idea help.

He's rather conservative and thinks if there's the mood, then it'll come naturally. But the fact of me initiating and he brushing me off like that turns me off. I mean.. How many times you want me to try, right?

[missdawnie]

may be you should tell me about how you feel? I too have been with my GF for 5 years lo and the past few years have been quiet sad.... not much happy ending we evening planing to get married soon but then we all have our needs... just sad that she does not have the drive for sex as much as I do... people do change la so really could be work that's why he always has no mood for it, or why try spicing things up may be try talking to him about swinging or 3 some??

all the best to you,

by the way if you really want to eat outside is just be careful don't get caught by friends or faimly la...

The last time round I tried to convince the thought of toys he threw a tantrum and say its not like as if he's patrionzing prostitues, why is there a need to spice things up. That comment made me feel damn offended.

[whitecat]

I think you need to get to the root of the issue. For marriages to work, both party must be willing committed. As a married man, who is happy married and still "eat " outside some time, it could be one of the reasons:

1) he is cheating, he has enough.
2) the work and other stress is too much
3) he is sufferings from Ed and he can't discuss with you
4) or may be he prefer DIY or massage or Hj over the bang

My 2 cents view, we man is mostly sex animal . We can bang and without emotion attach . And most man will go crazy if without sex for too long. So if he is not banging you for a long period of time ( asia standard) tend to be at least once a month, also depending on both your age. in short we man must let go else will have over flow issue.

I hope the above enlighten you . I suggest you also look into tantric massage and find out why some men will prefer ths over the bang .

[chanwil007]

as what whitecat says is quite ture.... think there might be some thing fish with him...

if not you can try finding a FB lo....

I think you need to get to the root of the issue. For marriages to work, both party must be willing committed. As a married man, who is happy married and still "eat " outside some time, it could be one of the reasons:

1) he is cheating, he has enough.
2) the work and other stress is too much
3) he is sufferings from Ed and he can't discuss with you
4) or may be he prefer DIY or massage or Hj over the bang

My 2 cents view, we man is mostly sex animal . We can bang and without emotion attach . And most man will go crazy if without sex for too long. So if he is not banging you for a long period of time ( asia standard) tend to be at least once a month, also depending on both your age. in short we man must let go else will have over flow issue.

I hope the above enlighten you . I suggest you also look into tantric massage and find out why some men will prefer ths over the bang .

[whitecat]

Well, if you still value the marriage, don't go for fb. As sg is so small , some how some where we are all connected to some one. Do you recognize all the guest attended your wedding ? I guess not. If you have need I suggest you buy toys and learn how to do it yourself until you are clear of your next move. Especially you still don't have an children yet ( I guess ) with children in the equation , it will get complicated . Two wrong don't equal to one right .

[kensheeh89]

hmm sis... its probably due to the stress levels in work... maybe probably u shld give him a massage on the shoulders and back first... instead of str askin for sex... cook smth he likes and den probably just watch a show on tv tgt before cuddlin up to him by his side... before u start ur moves... it may lighten up the mood more wif arromatic candles and a gd bath... :D i guess if i was ur hubby and u did all tt for me.. i think i would be turned on as well :D hope this advice came in handy :D

[nuclearkid]

How well are you both communicating? It sounds cliche but like minded couples who do things together are likely to be more intimate. If you both spend much time separately, have separate friends that you both hang out with separately and regularly, do your own things while at home and have other distractions, it does not bode well.

And yes, how you look like matters too. There are women who totally let go after a few years of marriage (or pregnancy but that does not apply here) and never stop to wonder why the wolf whistles have quietened considerably.:D

Your problem is well discussed in this thread called 'Wife & Sex - going through the motion'.

[copper]

A pleasure we do out of love for the other person,we our sharing the sexual experiment with when the innocent become the intimate. In our culture it seems ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’ when women desire sex as a means to emotional intimacy. But no one believes that a woman could struggle with the purely physical. So, you are going ahead to put this blog out there just in case it might be an encouragement. This struggle has provided for you the biggest challenge and deepest ‘suffering’ of singleness..What have other women done in similar situations? We would like to hear others' stories...because we are interested and because as most of us know, it can be so valuable to hear someone else's similar stories and how they decide to "deal" with something, or not.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening.

[Giken]

Hey, I truly understand how u feel but bear this in mind. Finding urself a fb is to cure ur needs but not a solution to solve the problem. At the end 1 problem not solve and yet create another problem. Trying bringing it out as a open topic to talk it over a glass drinks with ur hubby at home in the night. If not than try not to go straight to the point to ask for sex. Try different move.. For example if he always say he is tired after a long day of work, try to bath him in the shower than move on frm there. I m not sure will it works but no harm giving a try. Anyway u know ur hubby the best more anyone of us here.

[missdawnie]

Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely try out (: in the meantime it'll just be playing with myself.

[kensheeh89]

Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely try out (: in the meantime it'll just be playing with myself.

dun play too much wif urself... if ur hubby noes abt it he may just be demoralized... anyways gd luck sis wish u all the best :D

[sf49ers]

While this may be one patch you two go through, it's not healthy to keep going like this. Yet the possibilities are diverse too.

My suggestion is you observe if there has been any recent major change in his workplace, such as being given extra responsibilities, or trauma he may have experienced. When I took on a course 2 years back, I became very busy too and hardly got intimate with my wife, although I wished she had initiated something ;)

Even if you decide to back off as Bitmask advised, after some time, you'd want to try to rekindle the flame by at least suggesting a nice romantic date (you're right, can't go for holidays all the time). Married couples do need to go on dates too.

Good luck!

[kutaocheng]

I very much believe it could be due to work stress.. And he is worried about not being able to perform and embarrass himself infront of you.

[n30n]

For a one or two time initiation, maybe you can try to do the taking care of him, instead of being focus on yourself.

Like what the bro say, bath him, massage him, cook nice food for him.
And when he lie on the bed, before he doze, massage his down there also.
Just let him enjoy and cum.

But as a woman, i know this is not a long term solution.
I do this as an attempt to comfort him, and awaken his sex drive.

I think bros should know this.
In general, women are willing to go far to give in and please their man.
But the more the woman sacrifice, the more she wants in return.
In this sense, it's not that she's demanding things. It's more like wanting a sense of acknowledgement and appreciation. She wants to be thanked for all her efforts she put into you.

So if your woman is patient with all your temper and neglect, and one day she suddenly turn demanding, you know what you've forgotten to do. It's not that woman change overnight, it's more like she's waiting for far too long for you to return to her.

So if you don't want to meet with the sudden explosion of returning favours, don't let her sacrifice herself for you. Don't give her chance to give in to you.

[ston]

Real love don't need return. Just like real gift dont expect gratitute.

Fuck ur husband, sex is sex, no need mood. Set the rule, if one ask, the other must provide, tired, moody or bitchy, just do it.

Then, u will have a great sexual time.

[desire082]

i can only think of 1 reason which is u so not appeal to him sexually anymore..
i suggest you can start rapeing him if still no response then get a divorce

[Devil320]

I suppose the key is ensuring whatever you do..it should not cause you marital woes..try what the rest have suggested and see how things go..perhaps he is hard at work to give you a good life and satisfying him is your role too

[james38]

Dear Missdawnie,
It may be due to your appearance. Try wearing sexy clothing eg g-string or go without panties. Put some light makeup on your face. Do up your hair. May i know what's your height and weight? If u are fat, u really got to slim down.
Go find one or two discreet FB. Learnt how to satisfy a man. Since u are married, it is better to find someone married. Always wear protection. How about me? I am married and i can give advices on your sexual skill and how to get your hubby coming back to you. Drop me an email... [email protected]


Rgds,
james

[auntygranny]

James,

Why dun you just share those skills on this thread? I am keen to know too.

[Ahxi]

Dear Missdawnie,
It may be due to your appearance. Try wearing sexy clothing eg g-string or go without panties. Put some light makeup on your face. Do up your hair. May i know what's your height and weight? If u are fat, u really got to slim down.
Go find one or two discreet FB. Learnt how to satisfy a man. Since u are married, it is better to find someone married. Always wear protection. How about me? I am married and i can give advices on your sexual skill and how to get your hubby coming back to you. Drop me an email... [email protected]


Rgds,
james

omg. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[heward]

Well, other than those sexy lingerie or your husband excuses. Sometimes we need to go back to the basic of "living together" and how u both communicate.

Sometimes due to behavior wise for "niam-ing" your husband or wife will turn the sex drive down. The point which i'm trying to say is, communication plays a part. Sometimes a little dun care act will draw his attention too.

hope my tips helps.. :)

gd luck ya

[Poet]

hmm there's a book called - Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. From that book, there are many good advices, and one especially for this scenario. Observe that any efforts to increase intimacy will further repel him. Any other attempts to persist or escalate will even repel him further. Basically, the most effective thing for you to do is the opposite - back off from him. Though it runs contrary to your instincts, and you may find it difficult to do, you have to bear with your feelings in order to achieve what you want in the long run. He will definitely come back to you eventually. Having been together for so long - he is very unlikely to give it up so easily.

Boss must be busy. Otherwise he will correct you.

[consultant]

Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely try out (: in the meantime it'll just be playing with myself.
Men are visual animals-literally! Did u cut your hair very short until u look like a guy like some women do straight after marriage giving the excuse too troublesome and weather too hot altho' both their hubby and young children say they look ugly with short hair. Do u wear nice silk or sexy lingerie to sleep or a very used T shirt with wrinkled collars and discolored shorts? Do u also take a nice bath before bed and spray a little perfume as sometimes the women's private part can have an odor because it is not shaved. It is a turnoff for men if their women's hair and other parts of the body smell bad or of kitchen grease or other idiots. Some women prefer to listen their older siblings or MOTHER'S old wife's myth not to wash their hair or privates or their butt too much for whatever non
hygienic reason. I know of men who while doing it halfway felt a small piece of dried matter come out euwww because the woman did not wash their butt after doing their business but use toilet paper only. Now come to the men. Did he do this out of being rejected previous when he wanted and u did not give e.g. Some men I know want to do but when it so happens during the women's period they are told no. After one week, the men ask again but the answer is again no because the menses are still not clear yet. This sometimes gets to the men because it is like out of 1 month can only do 2 weeks, and, if in that 2 weeks, she refuses again because she has a meeting the next day or has a headache or feels tired or sleepy, it really gets to the men because men's attitude is, is it tiring for the woman to just lie there and let the men take action? The other thing is the pace of work and is sometimes so hectic that the men are physically exhausted and also wondering whether they can meet impossible deadlines stipulated by slave driver bosses where every task is urgent. The stress isnhigh because in our society even though women also work if a man loses his job it is not only a big stigma but he is expected to find another quickly at higher or equal pay than the woman. Otherwise, the woman will after a while say he is useless and cannot meet her expectations etc etc leading to divorce. Hope this gives you a real view picture. Of course, as always emphasized communication is key but it takes two hand to clap so if infidelity is suspected, use your intuition and find out more indirectly. u can pm me if u need further advice.

[thomas88]

The best solution is to find the right moment and get him to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Let him know your feeling and your love for him too. Ask him and hear what is his problem as it could be he's too stressed from work or some other reason and thus he's experiencing impotence thus he's trying to avoid sex so as not to be embarrassed.

As for toys, you could still get some nice toys for yourself and you could still satisfy yourself whenever your urge is high. He need not need to know about your sex toys as it can be your own secret.

Getting a FB is the last you should even consider as your husband is conservative and your by doing this could only cause damage to your marriage.

[Apocalypse]

Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely try out (: in the meantime it'll just be playing with myself.

What happen to we r fucking like rabbits?

And also all of your sexy body not exciting him anymore?
http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpost.php?p=3225434&postcount=53
http://s436.photobucket.com/albums/qq90/missydawnie/?src=wap

Dun worry. We have many high level experts here. :p

[freezetheDB]

sometimes doing something different or off character can be a wild turn on.

A man has to first associate a woman with 'pleasure' in his mind first. So focus on his pleasure, surprise him with a BBBJ followed by CIM (eg. kneel down, suck him off and let him release his load in your mouth).

Let yourself become his sex object/goddess and things will return back to track.

If he is not returning, there might be other problems
1) maybe he has someone else to release his bullets
2) maybe its the stress/financial burden that is affecting his mood
3) maybe its some health problem

[GorDJilla]

Hey sis, i guess its due to work stress that he's facing. Going for a getaway holiday might help. Its oso bonding time for both of u. Most imptly, u might wanna start showing him more concern by asking abt hw's work etc.. Strike a simple conversation, it might help build up the atmosphere for a gd sex :)

[Botakhead]

Hello fellow sis, you need to have faith in yourself, really need to find out what is the problems between the both partners.
I don't get enough sex from my wife, because she do not like it when she got no mood, I have to put myself in her shoes to understand that she have sacrificed for the family that we built. But when she got the mood and need, I may not be in the best condition myself (tired from work, needed sometime to myself), I'll try my very best to accommodate her and bring her to orgasm before I fill her up with mine. We trusted each other and we work things out the best way we could. After 18 years of marriage, I see no need to break up just because of the needs to have sex.

PS : Like me, you're the one needing more intimacy from your partner, I prefer DIY then visiting paid services. No guilty feelings after.

Cheer up:)
Have a nice and happy married life.

[missdawnie]

Thank you for the advice given (: this really shows my that SBF bros have a soft (no puns intended) and nice side too. Will take some of the advice given and try 'improvisioning' them further. Lol.

[neb_neb]

Hi Dawn,
Do provide more info on your husband like, age, type of work and friends he usually hangout with. When is the last time he had a heart2heart talk with you on current affairs/ his daily occurence at work?

Ask yourself have u done anything behind his back before marriage? Did you promise him something but didn't fulfill? Are you guys financially stable? Does he gamble? Above could be the reason he is currently facing and chose to avoid you.

Lastly, getting a FB doesn't resolve your current issue. Remember the issue lies with your hubby, which in turn create your issue. So you need to find out the root of your husband's problem and work it out amicably. As for your urge, I could only recommend you to DIY using certain 'comfort' products as temporary remedy.

a) Fairy mini mini wand (bought a month ago for my wife, she likes it so much and told me that it's better than me eating her. It's small and compact but consider on the high side)

b) liquid V - simulating gel ( recommended by a close frd of mine, works miracle on my wife)

I bought the above items for my wife for her to DIY when I'm not ard or she has any urge. These items can be found at penisular plaza 2nd level store, if I'm not wrong I rem seeing a female employee in the store. By the way I'm not in anyway connected to the shop, the reason I decide to post out is the variety of items which could be found there.

Time to time my wife will try different things from magazines or tips from her frds to keep our bedroom activities ongoing. Lovemaking is about both parties, both of you need to communicate to express your needs, preferences and desires. I'm not married for long, but I have known my wife for more than 10years and we broke-pact a few times in our younger days.

In our earlier days, freedom was a main issue we argued and later part before marriage, we fought due to trust. It took us a long tome to realize freedom is equivalent to trust

[doublelife]

For a one or two time initiation, maybe you can try to do the taking care of him, instead of being focus on yourself.

Like what the bro say, bath him, massage him, cook nice food for him.
And when he lie on the bed, before he doze, massage his down there also.
Just let him enjoy and cum.

But as a woman, i know this is not a long term solution.
I do this as an attempt to comfort him, and awaken his sex drive.

I think bros should know this.
In general, women are willing to go far to give in and please their man.
But the more the woman sacrifice, the more she wants in return.
In this sense, it's not that she's demanding things. It's more like wanting a sense of acknowledgement and appreciation. She wants to be thanked for all her efforts she put into you.

So if your woman is patient with all your temper and neglect, and one day she suddenly turn demanding, you know what you've forgotten to do. It's not that woman change overnight, it's more like she's waiting for far too long for you to return to her.

So if you don't want to meet with the sudden explosion of returning favours, don't let her sacrifice herself for you. Don't give her chance to give in to you.

how true :)

im not married either, but i guess, gotta try to up the ante in the bedroom.. buy some nice lingerie and create a relaxing mood at home might work?

if all else fails, then try to talk to him directly about this...
all the best!

[sgjoey]

Either he's having ED (erectile dysfunction) or he's seeing someone else. Instead of just trying to get him to have sex with you, the first thing you need to do is to really try to talk to him about the situation and try to find the real cause.

It's only after establishing the real cause that you can decide what to do next.

Any plans to have kids at all? That could be one way of starting the conversation.

Good luck.

[asdfghjkl]

i am a woman too and i am glad to say i found comfort in the advice of many men here.. kekeke

[LoZH]

Cook him a nice meal on Friday, let him sleep, and wake him up on Saturday with a blow job. Disconnect all phone lines, switch off all hand phones, blind the curtains, on the air con.

Not to forget breakfast. A hungry man is an angry man

Guys are usually super duper horny in the morning. So a blowjob in the morning would kick start his day right in the ball sac.

He should not have any reason to reject u, cause its a weekend, and blinding the curtains so that u all may lost track of time and fuck away!!!

If he still reject, maybe he got some men problems. If so, please so not straight away confront front him as it will deflate his ego like no Tmr.


If all else fails, I suggest u rape him. No sex toy for yourself? How abt cuffs for him to the bed post! Blow him wank him and ride him until he scared to reject u next time!

[MrYoung]

second the suggestion given by LoZh
;D

[maxman]

Your situation is surely not uncommon. When a couple begins cohabitation or marriage, the increase in commitment and responsibilities towards family raising and work almost certainly eventually come regardless of country, probably more so in Singapore. The daily routine of rising to work in the morning and falling to sleep in the night creeps in exhaustion and monotony. Excitement fades, not just from the once sexually-active men, or even women. Believe me, the daily grind easily takes its toll. This is a problem very well known and often debated in the news.

I guess it is good enough consolation that he isn't cheating on you and returns home to you.

When children come into the picture, and the woman has an extra role of being a mother, she may realize her difficulties juggling her roles as wife and mother.

The new father may also feel neglected by his wife who has become a mother to his child. Once sexually active, her attention and affection could be mostly robbed by a frequently crying baby. No sex or less sex, the man drifts away.

It's life.

Communicate with your man. Persuade him to talk openly. Tell him you still want sex with him. Find out why he has less libido. Maybe stress, worry about the future, ill health? Sometimes it can help giving him a massage and moving down south on him to warm up the mood can help.

[QueeniePeh]

Hi babe,

After reading your stories, im actually in the same situation as you. Hmm like eg. he wont want to cum in mouth/tits fuck cause he think that very AV style
so there's v little i can work to spice our relationship.

Guy say their right hand is their best friends, so as mine. I'm high sex drive whereas my partner not into it.

So the only thing i do is to dress up, gather with friends whether is guys or girls outing. He will started to see the different in you and wanna be "woo" you back.

Hope this would helps your relationship.

The last time round I tried to convince the thought of toys he threw a tantrum and say its not like as if he's patrionzing prostitues, why is there a need to spice things up. That comment made me feel damn offended.

Thanks for all the advice. I'll definitely try out (: in the meantime it'll just be playing with myself.

[AngelvsDevil]

maybe you can try to masturbate with leg wide open on bed and let him bump into seeing you doing that when he enter the room and you are all wet and horny... this may turn him on....????...

[Sirrus]

RAPE him. tear his shirts off, pull his pants dont, grab the little prick and start assaulting it until he cums

[lammpeb]

Let him drink some chinese tonic soup good for blood circulation by morning come every guy will get a hardon,drink a few time he will be a very horny man and he dont sex you then something not right

[comm]

you are right to stick to your marriage ! stupid thoughts like finding a FB will only lead to divorce

imagine u ask him to try toys and he already say its dirty.........if u have FB i wonder how he will react to other ppls dick inside you.....sure gone case 1

actually thats a big clue for you right there. Does he find sex to be kind of dirty ?????

maybe u can ask him frankly without being critical.........

[demonorc]

Well.. I dun know if I am the right person to write on this portion but I guess I can give it a try.

Abit of background, I am too married for a few months as well and I do have an affair with a married woman who did not get her needs for a year plus before we went into an affair.

Okie,first to talk on marriage,I guess it is not easy to talk about sex on bed for me. There is the work,in-laws,parents, suspicion of this and that. Even my wife is sleeping now,she will ask what I am doing on my phone and messaging other girls when I could be doing decent stuff. I guess the simpliest way is to rape him or give his dick a gOod showdown. If he loves you,he will try to give in to you. I dun think that he is having an affair unless his volume of sperm is little,which could be a few factors.

[demonorc]

Next,I will like to talk about the woman having the affair.

You should not be looking for an affair like you need to have sex. An affair is to fill in not only on the bed and also what is missing in your life.for example,a good long hug, someone hugging you to sleep so tight that you cannot breathe.someone who can advise and listern to your woes and pick you up when you drop a tear.

I dun meet her often and does not mean we fuck ourselves each time we meet. Otherwise,you will find yourself not getting what you want.

As for her husband, I think is like your husband. Sex is always her trying to seduce him until she gives up. He also dun care and he did not have an affair outside also. We know and can tell. He is just a faithful christian who just dun like sex and his wife is like his child,trying to control her life,like her job,friends. She even wear sexy stuff and he does not even stand ,that's how bad things are. He does not know she has an affair and I doubt he will ever know.

I hope my insides does give you some heads up on you need to know.there is no wrong or right,but taking the first step to have an affair will be very diffcult for a woman. I saw how she struggles and she gave in because she let herself in a position that I dun let her say no.

I think we both dun regret what we have done.

[thomas83]

well, i agree that finding a fuck buddy is very risky after what have been said about your husband's reaction to your advances. i don't see a way outta it other then telling your husband literally that you are sexually frustrated and having a serious discussion about it to make him realise the problem its not going to go away just because he avoids it. But be prepared to be open minded and receive criticism and hear stuff you do not wanna hear. I know that some people they lose interest in sex with their partners because they feel its a one way street, their partners do not reciprocate enuff, or maybe its hygienes issue, weird smell or taste of their partner's body stuff lidat, or they don't like their partner being too laid back or too aggressive in bed.

But anyway, there's a reason why people have sex with a real person, so toys are not going to be a permanent solution, and you might end up overdoing it, if you know what i mean. Get him to talk to you about it LITERALLY, don't play the guessing game, woman. Hope that things get better between you and your husband.

[thomas83]

Although very out of point, i just wanna say sometimes i read about these issues i'm thinking what the hell is wrong with people who avoid sex with their partners. I cannot understand their mindset man. i do a lot of stuff from working out, running, cycling, playing the guitar, drawing, singing, hanging out with friends, u name it, all the kinda activities deem as FUN to people and yet sex is still the most exciting and easiest kinda fun activity on my list. If a person find sex really so boring, WHAT THE HELL he does for fun man, what gets these kinda people excited? do they go skydiving everyday? or mission impossible their way into iraq? lol. how i wish i always have a woman in my life who initiates sex and wants me to please and pleasure her. Usually, its the other way round for me.