should religion be a factor to start a relationship and marriage?

[cocky1234]

hi bro here.

recently im keep thinking should religion be one of the main factor in starting relationship and marriage. in a taoist and my family is taoist.

i recently meet 2 girls that are very nice in character. both are equally attractive. the difference is 1 girl is a Christian and her family too, the other girl is Taoist and so her family.

my parents encouraged me to find a girl of same religion as they prefer someone with same belief and can pray ancestor, future kids follow family practice and etc.

however, i seems to like the Christian girl more than the taoist girl. but both girl also likes me as well.. now i very hard to choose which girl i should be with and i want a long lasting relationship.

i know the Christian girl hinted me before that she wants a Christian marriage and her parents also believe a Christian husband should be a better pick.

any bros here that are in inter-religious and successful in family? hope someone able to share should religious be a decisive factor in successful marriage?

thanks

[GingerEm]

The difference between dating and marriage is that the marriage includes a "village".

Interfaith marriages are possible however it will come with quite a few challenges.

Expectations kill.

It is always good to be clear on all expectations up front. Do you want your children to be raised Christian or Taoist? Will Mummy say that praying for ancestors = "sinning" and burning paper money = "praying to the devil"?

Will the in laws be respectful of the differences in religion?

Honestly it all boils down to managing expectation and respect. If your relationship is based on respect and you can converse well enough together to discuss expectations then all will be well.

Wish you the best of luck :)

[Notary]

any bros here that are in inter-religious and successful in family? hope someone able to share should religious be a decisive factor in successful marriage?


Hello Bro cocky,



Firstly, congratulations on having 2 girls going head over heels for you. I'm sure many bros here would love to be in your position :p



Religion itself is a very sensitive topic by nature and it usually makes inter-family relationships pertaining to marriages pretty complicated especially when you have parents who are very particular about this kind of things or especially when one party is Christian due to them believing in what 2 Corinthians 6:14 (http://biblehub.com/2_corinthians/6-14.htm) says.



When I have a problem surfacing in my life, I would always ask myself what is the end point going to be like, I need to know the desired conclusion first. If your end game is to have a happy life with the girl you think who could be your life time partner then you need to choose the girl according to our Singapore pledge, "regardless of race, language or religion" but if your end game is to make your parents happy, then you can proceed to choose the "right" robot, er.. i mean girl to fulfil all criteria in accordance to your family's happiness index.



There are inter-faith marriages that have worked perfectly before in the history of mankind, but each couple has got their own unique different terrains to conquer - your situation is highly likely to be mutually exclusive from others. You need to lay out your life, analyse carefully and come up with a sound decision.



Once you've made your decision, speak with your family. Communication is key. The lack of communication has killed many families on a global scale, its like a spiritual nuclear bomb. Talk to your parents and discuss with them, try to compromise and come up with a win-win plan.



Maybe none of these 2 girls are meant to be yours.
Maybe one of them is meant to become your wife.
Maybe your soulmate is still out there waiting for you.
Maybe your parents don't really mind you having a Christian wife at all.
Maybe you'll not be a taoist in 5 years time.
Maybe.... there could be 101 maybes but only you can set your own future.



Good luck bro.

[makeyouhappy]

Great question TS.

The idealist in me would like you to follow your heart's fancy and pursue the girl you are more comfortable being with, whichever that may be! ;)

The pragmatist in me will ask you to consider speaking to both these girls (separately, of course), and see how much they are willing to put into the relationship and face the future by your side.

Before you make your decision, you probably want to consult the two girls and decide how far are you willing to go together, before "committing" to a relationship.

Maybe their answers will help you make a decision easily.

[cocky1234]

Hi Bro.

thank you for all your suggestions. i will try to speak with them and hope their answers would help me make a decision.

thanks for all the positive input. will keep you guys posted on the outcome :)

[cocky1234]

hmm.. i have chosen the taoist girl as my gf.. happy news i guess... but sadly she is not a girl that love sex or will talk about sex.. haiz.. really good girl type till sex is taboo to her . sad news i guess

[Augustus]

hmm.. i have chosen the taoist girl as my gf.. happy news i guess... but sadly she is not a girl that love sex or will talk about sex.. haiz.. really good girl type till sex is taboo to her . sad news i guess

grats on the decision made. actually, you just have to follow your heart. things will fall in place naturally.

she is good girl until sex is considered taboo? what does that signify? she cherishes her virginity and it is prized nowadays. so its good for you ;)

[squiggle]

Draw a clear line that whether one is to be convert to another religion or each just stick each their own religion. No point of fighting and stress up over such matter.

[ds88]

The idealist in me would like you to follow your heart's fancy and pursue the girl you are more comfortable being with, whichever that may be! ;)

The pragmatist in me will ask you to consider speaking to both these girls (separately, of course), and see how much they are willing to put into the relationship and face the future by your side.



good post about idealism and pragmatism!

it's probably a 2-way street in who's willing to do what for the other party
to sustain the relationship/marriage :)

[cocky1234]

well i hope she will open up as time pass.. i do like her, but im also a guy that hungry for sex.. (sorry cant control my beast) i tried to ask her to go for short stay cation at Kranji Farm 2molo since is Deepavali and PH. she scolded me. say that she will not go with me n dont ever ask her about staycation again :(

[cocky1234]

i guess i should go Geylang to satisfy my sex drive ba.. since gf will not allow me to have sex with her.

[mikek]

Sex is an essential and necessary part of marriage for most guys. As you have a voracious appetite, wouldn't it make sense to find a partner who has a similar appetite? Just my 2 cents.

[Boinkboinkboink]

i guess i should go Geylang to satisfy my sex drive ba.. since gf will not allow me to have sex with her.

“Clarity and stillness are the rectification of the world”
— Daode jing

“Therefore let people hold on to these:
Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.” [19]

— Daode jing

[Xyberduke]

From what I read, religion is a factor in your case.

Point 1: Who has priority.
Your parents will stick with you through thick and thin. Your wife may stick with you through thick and thin.

Point 2: What is a happy family.
As yourself. Do a litmus test. Can your wife and your family stay under one roof with all being happy or one bearing prejudice against another? If the answer is yes, this is a happy family. You don't need to live together actually, but when all comes together for gathering, do you want your parents to think about how they objected but you insist or see your wife tries really hard to please your parents, or see your parents adjust their opinions to suit you?



You don't choose your parents, but you can choose your wife. period. This is a no-brainer decision, don't let your dick or your emotional streak blind you.

[arsenal_84]

Sex is an essential and necessary part of marriage for most guys. As you have a voracious appetite, wouldn't it make sense to find a partner who has a similar appetite? Just my 2 cents.

frankly speaking, is not that easy to find another partner with similar drive.
besides there is also the possibility of the drive dying down after marriage or once kids come into the picture.

[bonkning]

walaoeh...she from ermei pai
u from tiko pai... bay gum la.
canot even talk abt sex .. in this day n age...
forget it la bro...
not say she not guud...but not suitable la

[ringo6668]

walaoeh...she from ermei pai
u from tiko pai... bay gum la.
canot even talk abt sex .. in this day n age...
forget it la bro...
not say she not guud...but not suitable la

Wah tikobonk zap pple ah:D

[bonkning]

nabez.. ppl toking abt rensheng dashi
u come here karkar jiaojiao...
i zap u first ah... serious la

[porscheclub]

Does the Christian girl know you like porn? :D

I've known old couples from polar religions and family's intact but God knows how much troubles they went through. Priority is to set expectations right from the beginning & that immediate family members don't get involved too much or you'll have turmoil. Anyway, looks like you guys are not in a serious relationship yet but do sound out to her of your concerns.

[Boinkboinkboink]

.....that immediate family members don't get involved too much or you'll have turmoil.

This is so correct, no matter what religion(s) you are! It's an Asian thing, too much meddling too little personal space sometimes. :D

[cocky1234]

hi to all bros here.
initially i started this thread to ask for opinion and experience from bros (if any) that married with different religion can be a disaster?

since we are asian cultures, cannot avoid that we too must entertain family members and as i understand further, the both side of the family do mind about religion.

so.. i decided to settle down with the taoist girl instead.. but nabeh... who knows she dont like sex at all :(

[sunhuan-con]

To me is yes. I wont go for someone who shares different religion view with me .

[cocky1234]

what a bastard i am...i head cant think straight because my new gf dont give me sex. and i just went to find FL, and have unprotected sex. shoot and cum inside her..

gonna remember 15 Nov 2015. now planning i should go for anonymous HIV test again on 15 Feb 2016. my conscious hit me after i have raw with FL. now worry i might catch any disease.. what a bastard me

[koola]

as long as u guys respect each other should be fine. I had friends and Families who have it work out.
A lil Tolerance is all thats needed.

[bonkning]

no straight answer.
it depends on how staunch they are in their beliefs ..
or how crazy they are... :rolleyes:

[ringo6668]

Religion is a choice for everyone to believe,i feels that it should not be a factor for a relationship as we have to respect for every individuals believe.Some people are willing to convert to others religion and some don't.I believe love have no boundaries as long both are willing to compromise and work together anything is possible.

[porscheclub]

what a bastard i am...i head cant think straight because my new gf dont give me sex. and i just went to find FL, and have unprotected sex. shoot and cum inside her..

gonna remember 15 Nov 2015. now planning i should go for anonymous HIV test again on 15 Feb 2016. my conscious hit me after i have raw with FL. now worry i might catch any disease.. what a bastard me

Fucking idiot! You did raw with a FL who doesn't have a medical history & she let u cum inside her? Just because your new GF don't give you sex?

GF is not a sex robot, it's your love and TLC to make her worship you.

That Christian gal is counting her blessings now.

[Boinkboinkboink]

That Christian gal is counting her blessings now.

Agree.

She's like a Paris bombing survivor, so to speak. :rolleyes:

[cocky1234]

i know la... small head take over big head.. regret already n now on PEP treatment

[ds88]

Religion is a choice for everyone to believe,i feels that it should not be a factor for a relationship as we have to respect for every individuals believe.....I believe love have no boundaries as long both are willing to compromise and work together anything is possible.

If religion is a factor then better to be of same faith for both parties.
Then gf asked me go church but I no go, in the end sayonara :(

[hugs]

hi bro here.

recently im keep thinking should religion be one of the main factor in starting relationship and marriage. in a taoist and my family is taoist.

i recently meet 2 girls that are very nice in character. both are equally attractive. the difference is 1 girl is a Christian and her family too, the other girl is Taoist and so her family.

my parents encouraged me to find a girl of same religion as they prefer someone with same belief and can pray ancestor, future kids follow family practice and etc.

however, i seems to like the Christian girl more than the taoist girl. but both girl also likes me as well.. now i very hard to choose which girl i should be with and i want a long lasting relationship.

i know the Christian girl hinted me before that she wants a Christian marriage and her parents also believe a Christian husband should be a better pick.

any bros here that are in inter-religious and successful in family? hope someone able to share should religious be a decisive factor in successful marriage?

thanks

Both also no good.

Do they know that you are in relationships with both of them at the same time? Do you find it disrespectful if one of them is also seeing another man and considering him as her future husband? Do you respect them and are you able to be honest in the relationship?

You should marry the one you love. Not the one you like. You want it to be longlasting so religion and family pressure must not be the reason you get married.

After reading your 1st post, I think is important you check on your love for her/them, and your understanding on marriage. There must be love, honesty and respect towards your future wife. These are the factors for considering marriage. Not religion or family pressure. If you can't respect her now and be honest with her, if you like another girl, all these are signs that the love isn't strong. Why should you be considering marriage?

[bonkning]

You should marry the one you love. Not the one you like.
Absolutely bro...but not everyone so single hearted like u.
TS din say how long they dating.
many ppl wanto paktor first. i think fine to see other gers boys since they are not steady yet.
if 2 ,3 mths later, then status whether is still availiable on market or steady must b made clear.
2,3 mths horr...not 2,3 years later..dun waste people time.

[bonkning]

If you can't respect her now and be honest with her, if you like another girl, all these are signs that the love isn't strong. Why should you be considering marriage?
bro..what your signature mean ..:confused:

[ringo6668]

If religion is a factor then better to be of same faith for both parties.
Then gf asked me go church but I no go, in the end sayonara :(

There are a lot of couples n relationship are in different faith.Like I say it should not be a factor if your gf break up with you because of religion then she do not seems to love you and respect your faith.

[cocky1234]

i just dated the "taoist girl" just over a month in rs from now.

my initial thought of just pick a girl who is match my parents criteria. i dint choose the other girl due to religion objection frm parents. i do likes this girl, to me doesnt matter maybe will grow as relationship prolong.

then got 1 bastard side of me, i wanted sex n cant think straight when she is those type that dont like to talk about sex at all.

i dont know what i was thinking n went to find FL, did Raw session too. now regretted my decision and on PEP due to fear i might catch HIV n infect this GF.

maybe now is time for me to reconcile while i on PEP whether i should still continue a relationship with her. she a good girl to be honest, and match my parents criteria,i wanted to find a wife. this girl just taboo on that thing and i cant live without sex.

[porscheclub]

Are you getting married or your parents? You are marrying for convenience and this will only blind your heart.

My suggestion is for you is to have more relationships to know what is love, life & family before getting married. You are not ready and if you rush into it, you'll only end up miserable plus a divorce case.

Sex is an important part of a couple life. There are plenty examples of either sex not interested getting intimate and it is up to both parties to engage in communication etc. but best to work this out before marriage. I have a feeling that she's not giving you sex due to not trusting you.

How long have you guys been together? Girls can take months to break the ice+trust & she's likely observing you as well while you took time to choose.

[S.B.Y.1]

2 Corinthians 6:14 (http://biblehub.com/2_corinthians/6-14.htm) says..

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+3%3A28&version=NKJV

[bonkning]

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+3%3A28&version=NKJV
bro sby...
gal 3v28 only applies after conversion. not before.
different context from 2cor 6v14

[cocky1234]

thats the issue.. i read the bible. unbelievers shall not be yolk with believer. one of my friends share with me that one of their relatives experience alot of conflict when it comes to religion, till both quarrel their spouse must follow whose religion etc.

[S.B.Y.1]

Deleted post

[S.B.Y.1]

bro sby...
gal 3v28 only applies after conversion. not before.
different context from 2cor 6v14

All these are written by Paul (supposingly 14 books) half of the new testaments

It's not in the Red Letter Biblos

[devilchan78]

http://www.allsingaporestuff.com/article/single-lady-why-christians-cannot-should-not-date-non-christians

[bonkning]

All these are written by Paul (supposingly 14 books) half of the new testaments

It's not in the Red Letter Biblos
Yes bro..written by paul but address to different audience..dats y is out of context. Even same words used in diff situation can cause misunderstding.

Me duno wat is red letter biblos. Can u educate me on this. Thankyou.

[ringo6668]

bro sby...
gal 3v28 only applies after conversion. not before.
different context from 2cor 6v14

Wah bro tikobonk chim ah....mai kow jai leh.:D

[S.B.Y.1]

Me duno wat is red letter biblos. Can u educate me on this. Thankyou.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_letter_edition

[bonkning]

All these are written by Paul (supposingly 14 books) half of the new testaments
It's not in the Red Letter Biblos
oohh terima kasei...now i remb wat is red letter biblos liao...
ya , not in red biblo, but dat does not mean dat the NT is not a bible.
From wat i kno the NT is bible.
i do not know the history n how all these came about, i only hav some knowledge of wat it is talking about...mayb 50 percent (NT incld those by paul)
OT...i think i only know 1%

[bonkning]

Wah bro tikobonk chim ah....mai kow jai leh.:D
mai bpen lai...an ni mai sum kan.
kun ri-an ruu John chapt 3 verse 16 por liao....:D

[eroticbomb]

hi bro here.

recently im keep thinking should religion be one of the main factor in starting relationship and marriage. in a taoist and my family is taoist.

i recently meet 2 girls that are very nice in character. both are equally attractive. the difference is 1 girl is a Christian and her family too, the other girl is Taoist and so her family.

my parents encouraged me to find a girl of same religion as they prefer someone with same belief and can pray ancestor, future kids follow family practice and etc.

however, i seems to like the Christian girl more than the taoist girl. but both girl also likes me as well.. now i very hard to choose which girl i should be with and i want a long lasting relationship.

i know the Christian girl hinted me before that she wants a Christian marriage and her parents also believe a Christian husband should be a better pick.

any bros here that are in inter-religious and successful in family? hope someone able to share should religious be a decisive factor in successful marriage?

thanks


religion does help to mould and shape ones ideals. if however, you do not click well with the person, its really hard to live together

[stillgottheblue]

Most Christian will only marry Christian. Of course some will break the rules.

[remyken]

I think feeling for each other more important. The rest secondary.

So what if choose the one you don't like and have to force oneself to....

Whatever it is think properly.