Thai gf asking for too much money

dustzee · #1 25-07-2011, 12:52 PM

I just need to get this off somewhere...

My Thai girl is a normal girl in her country working as a designer. She has a decent job that pays her a little higher than average in her country. We fell in love and I have made the commitments to visit her regularly.

Everything about having a thai gf is good. Having someone who will bargain for you in the market, bringing you around like a personal tour guide, taking care of the admin for the bank and the rent. And the sex is damn good.

I have met her family and she lives with her mother, brother and sister. Her father and the rest of the family are in the north. I cannot communicate with the mother but I guess she's ok with me. Just that she doesn't like the fact that the gf always stay at my place when I'm there.

So I fell deep and hard for her, thinking that I have finally found someone I really care for. And she really make me feel the feeling is mutual because she is so attentive to me and my needs.

Here comes the thing. I do not understand why she isn't stingy with my money if she sees us as an item. Initially, she asked for help because she had some problems with the shop (she has her own business as well). I agreed to help, partial give partial loan. It wasn't clear, but she always call it a loan but with no clear intention of returning.

The good thing is she isn't lying. Every money that was sent was used to buy something visible that I can see. For example, extra tables and space in the shop. I always think not to ask her for the money as she is really trying to expand her business and upgrade her life. As a bf, I am more than happy to help.

When we go on tours, she would ask her friends along (thai couples) but seems like she always end up paying (with my money). She likes to treat her friends and I seem to be the one paying for that. I have no idea what she was doing, even though the money was not a big deal in our country.

So sometimes I wonder about the perception she has of me. I like to be treated as an equal, but she seems to be less sensitive on how my money was spent. However, she seems to be very sensitive on how her thai friends might have problems paying for this and that. Anyway, I told myself not to worry about it.

And then the money lending issue seems to get bigger. Recently I learned about how much the family is in debt and she has to shoulder everything (because parents are old and siblings are young). Again, I offered to send some money, but this time, stirred. I mean it seems like a black hole that's getting bigger and bigger. In the span of a few months, I'm already sending money in hundreds and thousands. And it seems like they (the family) have no clear idea how to get themselves out of their debt.

I have told my gf repeatedly that I'm not rich, but I would help to ease her of her stress. I'm not sure if she understood that point.

The money that I sent I'm prepared to lose. But I just dread the feeling of what kind of perception she has of our relationship, and in this case, what about her family? What is her family thinking of our relationship.

I really do not want things to go sour now. We have a great chemistry. She is really special to me and I seldom fall for anyone so hard. But I think something in this relationship needs to change.

So last week when she told me about her problem again. I send her some money, but I gave her a deadline to return it. If she needs the cash flow she can have it, but she has to maintain an effort on her part and I'm not an ATM.

Let's see how it goes. I really hope she will hold the end of her bargain. Because if she doesn't, this problem will manifest. Our long term relationship or even our marriage will be affected. I'm not a savior for her family nor her village and I hope she doesn't expect me to be one.

Sen5eS · #2 25-07-2011, 01:02 PM

Good luck bro ... hope this last transaction will show you the true colors.

You better prepare to discuss the real hard facts with her ...

dustzee · #3 25-07-2011, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sen5eS

Good luck bro ... hope this last transaction will show you the true colors.

You better prepare to discuss the real hard facts with her ...

Thanks bro, this last one will definitely be an indication.

sammyboyfor · #4 25-07-2011, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustzee

So last week when she told me about her problem again. I send her some money, but I gave her a deadline to return it. If she needs the cash flow she can have it, but she has to maintain an effort on her part and I'm not an ATM.

If you stop your funding, she'll find someone else to replace you in no time at all.

That's what women from the 3rd world do. They're masters of this game.

Don't be an idiot. Break it off before you go broke.

dustzee · #5 25-07-2011, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

If you stop your funding, she'll find someone else to replace you in no time at all.

That's what women from the 3rd world do. They're masters of this game.

Don't be an idiot. Break it off before you go broke.

I hear your advice and I know from the experience of many others about this. So in logic, I agree. However, there's this part of me hoping I have found a gem and she an exception. Haiz... gotta be an idiot at least for a little longer.

sammyboyfor · #6 25-07-2011, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustzee

However, there's this part of me hoping I have found a gem and she an exception.

There's absolutely no evidence that she's anything close to being an exception.

The part of you that thinks you've found a gem is your dickhead. I suggest you use your brain instead.

shctaw · #7 25-07-2011, 02:54 PM

Thanks for sharing......

Tell her you have run out of money and have to wait until 2 weeks later.

If she disappear for 2 weeks or diappear totally...... the case will be closed.

alan0338 · #8 25-07-2011, 03:19 PM

pls prepare more $$$.... gd luck TS

blur boy · #9 25-07-2011, 03:23 PM

Bro Dustzee,

Only 1 advice for you.

Either you let go or you bring her here back to sillypore

naemlo · #10 25-07-2011, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dustzee

Let's see how it goes. I really hope she will hold the end of her bargain. Because if she doesn't, this problem will manifest. Our long term relationship or even our marriage will be affected. I'm not a savior for her family nor her village and I hope she doesn't expect me to be one.

Since the first day, you agreed to pass her money without much questions, she is treating u as a shaking money tree. No money, just shake the tree and money will drop.

Try not to loan her money n see how she treated u. Try to ignore her for few days and see whether she looks for u. If she does love u, she will find something is not right and furthermore she will miss u n contact u. If days and she does not contact u, then u r someone whom she will miss when she needs money. A pair of lovebirds will try to contact each other often.

In love, I am always selfish.... I want someone who loves me more than I love her.

williamsF1 · #11 25-07-2011, 03:28 PM

bro, i ask u 1 simple qn, if the girl's nationality wasnt thai, but was singaporean, and the situation is identical, will u be giving her the $?? sometimes its very weird that we like to act hero, got thailand and be santa claus, give/loan/throw $ at the girls maciam we r walking ATM.

in reality, she's just a gf, not a wife, so u dont owe her a living la. the more u give, the more she will ask for it. once it becomes a habit, the moment u stop giving, she will say u found new love liao.

if u dont believe me, u pull the plug for 4mths, and see if she will still call u her beloved.

blur boy · #12 25-07-2011, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naemlo

Since the first day, you agreed to pass her money without much questions, she is treating u as a shaking money tree. No money, just shake the tree and money will drop.

Try not to loan her money n see how she treated u. Try to ignore her for few days and see whether she looks for u. If she does love u, she will find something is not right and furthermore she will miss u n contact u. If days and she does not contact u, then u r someone whom she will miss when she needs money. A pair of lovebirds will try to contact each other often.

In love, I am always selfish.... I want someone who loves me more than I love her.

Your posts are still champion after all these years!