Low sex drive or cheating?

Powerpuffgirl · #1 07-02-2012, 10:27 PM

Hey everyone, i have been following this forum for a few months and I must say, the stories here has propelled my sex drive to a new high.

However after my 'upgrade', I find my hubby sex drive to be on the low side. I am now thinking if I am not sexy enough, or he is cheating on me ( thus I am not needed that often, even rejected at times.) . We are both in our early 30s and together for ard 3 years (including courtship).

Any experts here able to help identify if he is cheating or just low sex drive?

We do it 3 to 4 times a mth. Is that normal?

Thanks in advance.

randomtots · #2 08-02-2012, 05:12 AM

3-4 times a month is not too bad for married couples i guess, especially those who have kids ard. I advise you not to be paranoid, most probably your hubby is too tired from work and stuffs. If he didn't touched you for more then a month, start to be worried then.
Communication is the key, try to engaged him in random small talks. Its funny when we men don't appear horny, women think we are cheating or having an affair. Sometimes, we just want to enjoy other things in life beside sex.

CyberRod · #3 08-02-2012, 06:29 AM

Hi Sis... Just sent you a PM...

Frederick · #4 08-02-2012, 07:41 AM

How many times do you need?

SH149 · #5 08-02-2012, 07:47 AM

Hmmmm ...... It's quite low I must say

Maybe due to stress don't assume he been cheating on you as it might wreck your marriage life

fuckdaddy · #6 08-02-2012, 07:54 AM

it depends on what was your frequency previously. if it had always been 3-4 times a month then there is nothing wrong with it unless you notice a significant drop. but 3-4 time a month is neither too little nor too much. that's like once a week so still not so bad as long as it is regularly.

you are the one who got "upgraded" so maybe you want to try to "upgrade" him? try to spice things up a bit but don't be too obvious or else he might think you are the one cheating

AmeShin · #7 08-02-2012, 07:56 AM

Stress and overload of work can extinguish desires as one will be too preoccupied.

If u want maybe try things like costume play as it may spike up a suddenmood

ah rat · #8 08-02-2012, 07:56 AM

TS,What is yours hubby Occupation.Tell more.If its due to works stress.
I have high sex drive if I see neh neh & pussy

scamper · #9 08-02-2012, 07:59 AM

What do you mean by 'upgrade'?

5ag1_Boar · #10 08-02-2012, 08:01 AM

There are several reasons that men have low sex drive:
- as you stated... Cheating
- stress, tired from work, or other matters
- hiding/avoiding erection problems or premature ejaculation
- don't feel loved
- wife not attractive any more, either physically or behavior wise (constant nagging, never help with house work)
- naturally low drive
- others

3 to 4 times a month might be normal for some couples. Especially if married for some years already. Is this rate similar to before your marriage?

Are you still as attractive as when you were dating or first married? Do you still bother to dress up for dates? Do both of you still go for dates?

Is sex with him still as fun? Or has become boring? Does he seem less enthusiastic during the act itself, then last time? Is he adventurous in bed?

Maybe you should talk to him about your sex life and what he likes or wants in sex. His fantasies? He might want more, but afraid to ask. Early in my first marriage, I had very boring sex with my wife, although she was not frigid, but she was inexperienced. I tried initiating new positions like doggy, but she complained pain and was not keen (she was wet, we could do it in missionary). I shaved my pubes, she said "eeee". No blow jobs, sex was always missionary. After that I stopped experimenting in bed with her. I tried hinting her with sex articles from her own womens magazines, but she never got it. Naturally, our sex life pretty much died. When we divorced she told me she thought i had low sex drive. So, point is communicate with him about sex and of course the other stuff.

Had a friend who almost divorce his wife. She has a pattern: study, then work a short while, then go back to studies again. Keep making him spend money on unnecessary things. He don't mind supporting her, but she does not play wife well. Example, when she stopped studying and still had no job for a few months, all she did was watch Korean DVD all day at home. Didn't do laundry clean house. He come back from work still have to do all that himself.

sky_liner2 · #11 08-02-2012, 08:34 AM

Sis welcom onboard. U may have upgraded, but who knows, your hubby is already a long time player of SBF and may have been frequently going to FL services.

Xgenre · #12 08-02-2012, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powerpuffgirl

However after my 'upgrade', I find my hubby sex drive to be on the low side. I am now thinking if I am not sexy enough, or he is cheating on me ( thus I am not needed that often, even rejected at times.) . We are both in our early 30s and together for ard 3 years (including courtship).

Any experts here able to help identify if he is cheating or just low sex drive?

We do it 3 to 4 times a mth. Is that normal?

What do you mean by upgrade? You just cut off your penis and is now a full woman is it? Or have you just started taking hormonal pills that causes a spike in your sex drive? Or did you just added 2 breast implants that upgrade you from A- to C+? Or is the upgrade marriage? Not trying to be rude but wish to just highlight 1 point. Please speak in straight forward terms to guys, we don't always get what you mean.

If both of you are Singaporeans, 3 to 4 times a month is normal. Just look at the Durex report on sexual frequency. Singaporeans make love about once a week. You are definitely a normal couple according to the report. What would be your preferred frequency? Have you been keeping yourself physically attractive? A lot of Singaporean women have little love-making skills. Strip, suck cock a bit, lie with legs open and wait for further instructions from the guy on when to switch position. Perhaps you aren't the lover that rocks his groin for him, just a responsible woman who can raise his kids. 1 more thing, just because he beds you with an average frequency doesn't mean he is cheating on you. Guys start our sexual journey with our hands. Getting married doesn't mean the wife replaces the hand, it probably just means the wife now supplements the hand.

I suppose you are being flooded with PMs from eligible men asking to help you fill your sexual void. I trust that you will be wise enough to know low sex drive doesn't mean he cheats and high sex drive doesn't mean you should cheat.

BiRd13 · #13 08-02-2012, 09:06 AM

3-4 times is quite less... Are you both married for a long period of time already? I do know some couples after together, especially married for a period of time, their sex drive will get lesser.

Perhaps one of the quote in some bros sig is correct... Man need a new pussy everyday =D

Anyway, like what others mentioned, might be due to work stress. There's quite a number of reason behind it. And many doubts too. Are both of you like that from the beginning? Even if you don't answer, i guess the answer is NO.

Usually couples tend to have lots of sex during the relationship period. Will gets lesser as times goes by. And even lesser after marriage or giving birth etc.

AmeShin · #14 08-02-2012, 09:35 AM

U may need to define or specify "upgraded"

As it may hint and enlighten more

Is yur upgrade is fake boobs? Become fat?

Become chio?sexy?

Alantino · #15 08-02-2012, 11:02 AM

My guess is upgrade in sex drive ( HSD ) la.

Sis, just try to be more initiative during sex. you will see difference.

me and my ger also 1 mth 3-4 times, too frequent will be bored shyt too.

i will sometime even skip a week of action, the following sex date she will be more sensitive and even ask for more.