Marriage problems need advice

[kesyong79]

Hi all,

I have been a lurker in the forums all this while, been enjoying reading the interesting threads.
Currently my marriage is on the rocks because my wife found out some intimate whatsapp mesages with a girl that i met online.

Let me introduce myself first.
Im a 34 years old guy, working in the finance sector in an MNC
Ive been married for 1 year 3 months and have a 6 months old baby girl.

My wife is my first girlfriend and also my first girl when i met her at 29 years old.
I have never been to nightclubs or visit pros ever before, not even now.
I dont drink, smoke or ever been abusive at all.

All the while our relationship have been very good, i feel its only this year that we started having issues, after our daughter is born.

I have been taking the night shift of feeding my daughtet since the 2nd month till date.
Every day after work i will go back hm to take care of our daughter and even during weekends i dun meet my frens anymore. All my time now is spent taking care of her.

I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism last year have been on medication since, although o have not taken my pills since jan this year.

The problem started in feb when i had difficulty keeping awake during office hours, so i tried surfing the net to look for interesting stuffs to read and stumble upon this forum.

I was especially attracted to the threads on meeting ladies/ friends online, and so decided to create an account on Skout with false profile etc single, no gf. Not long after i began chatting with a lady online and what is initially a normal chat slowly turned into something more intimate.

So eventually in this month, just last week i met this lady over lunch, only a normal meetup with no hidden agenda. But after that i still continute intimate message with her.
Eventually my wife found out 2 days ago when she looked at my phone which i didnt even bother to deltete away the whatsapp chat cuz i feel its just online 'role playing'.

She didnt took it that way and accuses me of having an affair and cheating on her.
Now she wants a divorce, but agree to go counselling first.
Im so lost now, i didnt expected things to turn out this way.

Thanks everyone listening to me, cuz i dun really have much frens and tend to keep all things to myself.

[kesyong79]

Hi i accidentally posted twice, how do i delete? Thks

[ColdBlood99]

Originally Posted by kesyong79

Hi all,

I have been a lurker in the forums all this while, been enjoying reading the interesting threads.
Currently my marriage is on the rocks because my wife found out some intimate whatsapp mesages with a girl that i met online.

Let me introduce myself first.
Im a 34 years old guy, working in the finance sector in an MNC
Ive been married for 1 year 3 months and have a 6 months old baby girl.

My wife is my first girlfriend and also my first girl when i met her at 29 years old.
I have never been to nightclubs or visit pros ever before, not even now.
I dont drink, smoke or ever been abusive at all.

All the while our relationship have been very good, i feel its only this year that we started having issues, after our daughter is born.

I have been taking the night shift of feeding my daughtet since the 2nd month till date.
Every day after work i will go back hm to take care of our daughter and even during weekends i dun meet my frens anymore. All my time now is spent taking care of her.

I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism last year have been on medication since, although o have not taken my pills since jan this year.

The problem started in feb when i had difficulty keeping awake during office hours, so i tried surfing the net to look for interesting stuffs to read and stumble upon this forum.

I was especially attracted to the threads on meeting ladies/ friends online, and so decided to create an account on Skout with false profile etc single, no gf. Not long after i began chatting with a lady online and what is initially a normal chat slowly turned into something more intimate.

So eventually in this month, just last week i met this lady over lunch, only a normal meetup with no hidden agenda. But after that i still continute intimate message with her.
Eventually my wife found out 2 days ago when she looked at my phone which i didnt even bother to deltete away the whatsapp chat cuz i feel its just online 'role playing'.

She didnt took it that way and accuses me of having an affair and cheating on her.
Now she wants a divorce, but agree to go counselling first.
Im so lost now, i didnt expected things to turn out this way.

Thanks everyone listening to me, cuz i dun really have much frens and tend to keep all things to myself.

to maintain a marriage is base on trust and respect from what i have see, promises are meant to be kept but not broke, if you could remember the day when you and her agree to love each other no matter how poor, sick during the ROM ceremony. no matter what you do please think of your partner shoes.

what i would advise will be, delete off the lady number and promise her you will not do it anymore, woman tend to be more soft hearted but please make sure you will do it anymore as you can see she give birth a baby for you. she is the most wei da woman in your lifes, so you should be greatful on that.

think about it below.

if is the other way round, your wife try to msg a unknown man and been found out by you, what you will feel? is she cheating on you? will you trust her again? the trust it will not be 100% anymore. in future if she say she working OT or go out with gal friends, will you believe her?

try to plead for forgiveness from her. do something to surpise her like sending flower to her company, cook dinner for her when she home, massage for her when she is tired, bring her out to some romantic places like how both of you met and where you propose to her.

i hope this way she will not asking for divorce again.

people tend to regret after their mistake, but well this is human character. once you marry please be faithful, but if you still want to eat outside "PLEASE WIPE YOUR MOUTH AFTER YOU EAT" but i hope you dont do it after this lesson.


all the best in your relationship.

take care

[ibiza79]

Are you my clone...? almost exact same circumstances, went for counselling 2, it will help u n ur wife understand each other better, why u strayed, restart your communication with each other and things will be better... now my daughter is close to a year old, we quarrel even more but all seems to be insignificant when we look at our daughter.... it will be tough the coming few months but hang in there. Good luck with your counselling. pm me if u need someone to talk to.

[littlegenie]

You ll need to rebuild the trust again in this marriage if you are determined to make it work. Yr wife wld need the assurance n security again so work harder n make sure u dont do it again. do not contact the gal again. have a gd talk, better still go for a counselling.

women's mind, can nvr forget but can forgive (depending the wife)

hopefully you can work it out with yr wife, afterall yr kid so young.

gd luck (:

[sexymilf]

And y are u doing the night feed, doesn't she know u hv to work the next day? I hope counseling helps and do bring this up during the session.

[rubenree]

I am a father to my ten months baby. I focus all my off office hour time on my boy until my baby gets closer to me. My wife is a full time housewife. we always quarrel but she still lan lan has to respect me for i she knows i handle my baby better than her.

So bro, if your wife really love your baby very deeply she wouldnt mind much or worry if you are naughty outside cos your time spent with baby proves your rrsponsibility n love to your baby which deserves her respect. Pm me if you need to meet talk in private. In this society live is too stressful. We need more caring friendship n society.

Take care and cheers.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by sexymilf

And y are u doing the night feed, doesn't she know u hv to work the next day? I hope counseling helps and do bring this up during the session.

When my 3 kids were babies...I did all the night feed...did my wife cared that I had to work the next day? Noooo...she was happy to get a good night sleep...

I'm ok with it...especially now that I'm divorced and my kids love me...life is good again...


.

[clarencesbf]

Why marry the one you love? Marry the 1 who can help you, be a good mother. Sg men like to self-inflick takan themselves. We are just to nice to our woman and let them climb over us. Learn from our grandfather, ain't their life better. However sucks.. It's always "who is the toad"....

[TheAmuletMan]

Sometimes i think being single is a blessing

[Oxen]

Trust is earned. But when its discounted, it scars. Forgiven you can be but how much is forgotten? Its tiring for a relationship to keep a constant lookout for the other. TS, if you cherish your family, do whatever is necessary to keep it intact.