Sexperts wants old peasants to sell their pigeonholes with discounts

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/experts-call-for-simpler/699748.html

PEASANTPORE: Vile sexperts at the latest Hundred Flowers' Campaign on Pigeonhole Housing called for a re-look at policies that allow the elderly peasants to enhance their retirement income through seling their pigeonholes at steep discounts to Ruler Loong.

This will allow Ruler Loong to resell the pigeonholes to younger peasants at market prices, allowing him to earn a simple fat cat profit per transaction.

Obviously peasants who do not own pigeonholes need to apply for a ticket at Kallang River or Bedok Reservoir.

Twelve pro-regime sexperts attended the discussion on Wednesday night to sapork this evil scheme.

They include parasites property industry, paper tiger academia and for-profit organisations for seniors.

Some sexperts at the dialogue said monetisation schemes or discounts suffered by old peasants should be make more accessible. They also commented that lackeys are unwillingly to state clearly the discounts enjoyed by Ruler Loong if the regime re-purchase the pigeonholes from old peasants.

Joseph Cherian, Educated Ape of Finance at NUS Business Scam School, said: "Why don't you just fucking tell them if they sell the pigeonholes to the resume, Ruler Loong will enjoy significant discounts?"

Sex Director of property parasite Bastard Chris International, Chris Koh also shared some suggestions on how that could be done.

"Just tell the fucking old peasant Ruler Loong is doing charity by repurchasing his pigeonhole at steep discounts, hence they should just sign the papers and stop asking questions. They ought to explore options how they can die faster and donate their organs and stop sucking the system for handouts."

There are currently three scams that allow seniors to use their pigeonholes to build their retirement income. Nobody asked why old peasants are unable to tap on their meager retirement accounts that are confiscated by Ruler Loong.

The first is the Silver Housing Scam, where eligible elderly receive a cash bonus of up to 20,000 peanuts per household if they downsize to a smaller pigeonhole. The catch is the monies goes back to their CPF Retirement Account which is considered state property.

The Ministry of Birdcage said as of Thursday, only 23 Silver Housing Scam applications have been received as many are aware of the fish trap nature of this scam.

Of these, 13 peasants have been swindled and 10 peasants are still being 'processed'.

Explaining the seemingly low take-up rate, MND noted that the old peasants are not senile and many realized the scam has many drawbacks, namely the monies ends up with Ruler Loong via the CPF trap.

The second scam is to sell part of the birdcage's lease to the Penang $$$$$ under the Enhanced Lease Buyback Scam and continue living in the flat for the next 360 full moons. Those who die earlier or later than 360 full moons are considered losers. The discounts enjoyed by the regime is not fully disclosed.

MND said 474 senile peasants signed up for the Lease Buyback Scam before its recent enhancements.

As of April 30 this year, Penang $$$$$ received 265 applications for the Enhanced Lease Buyback Scam, or an average of 88 applications per month. This is higher than the average of 18 applications per month before the enhancements.

Some sexperts at the dialogue also noted that old peasants knew they will be the losers if they outlive the remaining 360 full moons lease and be evicted and labeled 'homeless by choice' if they take up the buyback scam.

Sexperts with conscience also noted that seniors might be concerned that peanuts they receive from the scams may leave them ineligible for certain medical benefits under Penang $$$$$'s evil Means Testing regime.

"KNNCCB, this Ruler Loong and Penang $$$$$ thinks all old peasants are stupid. If they take up the scam, IRAS will say they got income so they will lose all their benefits.

Then Penang $$$$$ will cancel their Medifund, they will have to pay market rates for the medicine. Other benefits like meals-on-wheels, housekeeping, laundry, transport, now got Means Testing, implies they will lose all that.," moaned Fiona Hon, a senior care manager at Hua Mei Centre for Successful Deaths at Old Age.

Subletting is another way old peasants can grow their retirement income but a survey done by Birdcage lackeys found only 10 per cent of elderly households doing so.

Even a missionary school boy can tell you that it is hard to sublet small birdcages, how to find an extra room?

The third most common reason was the regime deemed they did not need the extra rental income and the old peasants meekly accept that judgement and love in dire poverty.

Only the desperados sublet their small birdcages, it is for the Half Breed Viv's stingy 280 peanuts per full moon or they have financial difficulties.

Many old peasants said they are living with relatives to meet ends meet while rich lackeys like MDA's Koh Li-net live in 10 million peanuts condos.

To address this, some idiots suggested building bigger birdcages or allowing more old peasants to rent their birdcages to foreigners or younger peasants without IRAS going after them for rental tax.

Some brave sexperts also brought up other concerns, including the fucking design of inhuame studio birdcage, that are clearly not be the best environment for the elderly to live in. Those Hongkie inspired studio birdcages, however are cash cows for Ruler Loong.


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