Bargain Hen accepts 'recommendations' from pro-Familee lackeys for National Serfship

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Faithfully transmodified from Mouthpiece CNA hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/government-accepts-csns/1143450.html

PEASANTPORE: The Peasantpore regime on Tuesday (June 10) accepted the recommendations put forward by Defence Minion Bargain Hen on behalf of the Sex Committee to Strengthen National Serfship for Peasants Only (CSNS).

In a statement, Ruler Loong said the proposals will “strengthen National Serfship scam for future peasant generations and ensure the defence, safety and security of Familee and rich merchants' assets.”

The proposals from the Sex Committee include
1. Increasing the amount of monetary rewards for Paper Tiger Officers to ensure their loyalty to Familee.

2. Toughening the Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT) for peasants, drop dead, never mind, just blame them for not dropping out of runs.

3. Recruiting more pro-regime regulars in the Peasantpore Armed Forces (SAF), Peasantpore Gestapo Force (SPF), and Peasantpore Criminal Defence Force (SCDF). More dole will be given to pro-regime officers so that they will stage coups should peasants ever vote Labour into power (following the example of King Rama IX in Siam).

4. Enhance the White Horse Scam but make it more discrete such that White Horses like Patrick Tan shall not be exposed and be milked for political gains by dissenters.

5. Lower compensation costs by forcing all serfs to buy their own insurance called Profitable DefenceShield.

When fully implemented, the pork barrel recommendations will cost peasants up to 4 billion peanuts to fund the fat cats in those organisations, the CSNS stated. Wise peasants understand part of the profits from Medishield will be going to Mindef's coffers while Ho Jinx continues with her punts. Part of the profits may cum from compulsory DefenseShield Insurance for stupid peasant serfs.

Below is the full statement from Ruler Loong to CSNS Chairman Bargain Hen:

Thank you for the report of the Sex Committee to Strengthen National Serfship (CSNS) to protect Familee's assets. Thank you too for resisting calls from Jane Austen's fans to introduce more equality for peasants against the glaring existence of White Horses. But for goodness sake, even though I pay you a bargain stipends, can you please buck up from the dismal performance of the various armed forces units in the last 36 full moons e.g. Mas Selamat, ICA, Little India etc.

National Serfship is essential for Familee's progress and prosperity. It protects Familee from external threats e.g. Northern Mats, Southern Indos. It also maintain Familee in power and we allow me to stage a coup if Labour ever gains a majority.

You know, I know, our National Serfs, especially the Chinks never serve with pride and honour, they are always malingering and skiving but as part of retail politics, I express our deep appreciation to all our national serfs, especially those who die for nothing and are always blamed by Mindef for their own negligence.

The Regime accepts the recommendations of the CSNS. These proposals will ensure unwilling National Serfs continue to serve as cheap serfs for future Familee generations and ensure the defence, safety and security of Familee Assets.

I also thank the lackeys of the CSNS and the two Working Groups of ISD goons. Their work has contributed to keeping National Serfs strong and relevant in the future and ensured our White Horses are always kept safe and sound, other peasants' children die, their problem.


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