Does your heart suddenly turn cold?

[zan888]

If you are with someone for a long time and really love and took care of them but one day when they disappoint you more than once, your heart suddenly turn cold. Exteriorly you may do the same caring stuff for her/him but it is more out of obligation/habit.
I worry cos I am starting to feel this with my partner, too much hurt to forgive. Yes we did try to talk it out and I tried to forgive and forget but this time unlike previous disagreements, my feeling towards her suddenly went dead. I am worried this might mean the end of our marriage.
It is easy to say talk it out or see a counsellor but how does one revive the feelings? Possible? Any advice or experience shared will be appreciated.☺

[july3rd]

Yes! Heart will turn cold when too much things happen again and again. If always been taken for granted it is worst....

[happywoody]

TS, care to share more details before we can comment fairly.

One question to ponder is whether this coldness is temporary or you have character clash with your spouse that's not easily resolved?

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by zan888

but one day when they disappoint you more than once, your heart suddenly turn cold.

A heart doesn't suddenly turn cold overnight (if it does then you probably won't be here posting anyways) it must have experienced repeated heartbreaks n disappointments over time until it slowly turns cold. That's when you realize, well, truth hurts.

And since it's been repeated disappointments time and again, the question only you can answer is, is this worth it. Do you not deserve better?

[discordpiggy]

Originally Posted by fion.18

A heart doesn't suddenly turn cold overnight (if it does then you probably won't be here posting anyways) it must have experienced repeated heartbreaks n disappointments over time until it slowly turns cold.

Exactly. The heart turns cold from consistent hurt and pain... constantly crying to sleep and the void of emptiness felt. Worst off, the feeling of pain stabbing into the heart...

I couldn't believe myself that I could felt it 19yrs ago the pain and can still feel it now. And I thought I am 刀枪不入 can be immune to it but no...

I am still learning to have and own a hardened heart

[maxsee]

I don't think a person's heart can suddenly turn cold...it is a choice whether you want to make it turn cold...once it turns cold....everything you do will not involves feelings...every decisions you made will be extremely rational...and totally cold blooded....

[funnylove]

Maybe you can elaborate more on the kind of hurt you experience.

If you are worried that this might mean the end of our marriage, then obviously I think you haven't reach that point yet.

I can see some resentments going on. These things accumulates and grow in a relationship and one day, it will just explode. You need to release it in some way.

[july3rd]

Haha one of my emo song when I turn my heart really cold and end a relationship. When he try to contact me, I sent him this link..

Every words hit into bottom of my heart...

[firejalan]

Originally Posted by july3rd

Haha one of my emo song when I turn my heart really cold and end a relationship. When he try to contact me, I sent him this link..

Every words hit into bottom of my heart...

U r just like my Ex, love to send me songs to express..
Initially, I still blur blur, thot just sing sharing.. Coz she love ktv...
U bring memories..

[firejalan]

Heart don't turn cold suddenly...
It is always after a period of ((
So what exactly happen...?
Pls share...

[Ayakata]

everyone has feeling. people will feel numb at a certain point of time. but I'm sure there's something for you to hold back. Try looking back at those sweet memory of yours. people always say too much hurt to forgive but how much is too much? happy moments more than sad? since you 2 are married, everything can be discuss right? i can say i have too much hurt to forgive my partner too, but does it true? there's something to hold me back. maybe my partner has the same feeling as you as well, i don't know.

for whatever it is, do you know the reason why she does it? have you reflect on yourself as well? just be open and have a good talk with her. cheers~

[july3rd]

Originally Posted by firejalan

U r just like my Ex, love to send me songs to express.. Initially, I still blur blur, thot just sing sharing.. Coz she love ktv... U bring memories..

Haha I love KTV but does not go so often anymore!

I don't really sing, I enjoy listening some song really express what kind if mood I'm in..

I not sure does my ex understand my song. But I did told him what I want to articulate is inside the song

[EtherC]

I keep my heart just slightly above absolute zero

[KungFuFighter]

Originally Posted by firejalan

Heart don't turn cold suddenly...
It is always after a period of ((
So what exactly happen...?
Pls share...

Thats true bro

[Wintermelontea]

Bro,

How do you fall in love with your missus in the first place? And how do you fellas resolve issues on hand every time?

I am not saying that things won't died down after a while but that is normal. i.e feelings for each other will not be as passionate as first time falling in love but this same feelings will develop into something stronger and bond you two together, yes?

Furthermore, things do not happen overnight. Ask yourself, is there another lady in sight that resulted you in having cold feelings/attitude towards her? New hobby? New car/property that you are eyeing to buy? Anything new at all in your lifestyle? Get my drift?

Have the two of you been making out? Bang her hard and fast? Anyway, you will know what's inside of you and how you want to resolve this. Maybe all it takes is a good break aka reset?