What an bastard I am....

[Madhanuman]

Hey Fellow Bros,

My virgin post here, just sharing what I've been through all these while...

I've joined SBF since sometime in yr 2001 but did not really log in until prolly 1yr+ ago.

Enjoyed reading all the FRs, discussions abt flings, affairs and fantasies.

Me in a nutshell, working professional, married over 3yrs with my baby coming soon in few months time.

Despite a person with ultra high sex drive, I refrained from commercial sex all along until last yr when my friend brought me to a HC to experience massage, as expected I fell into temptation after being offered a bj with cap.

I felt the guilt immediately afterward & confessed to my wife almost 1-2days after my descent...

As usual, all the disappointments & whatsoever arguements started to fly around & tears being shed & blows being exchanged (I gettin hit of coz)

Things came to an end when I promised my wife tat I will not enter into this foray & stop seeing the friend who intro me into this after a wk or so.

Its 1 of the most emotionally stressed wk for me & I've learnt the lesson in the hard way....

Everything went just fine from there onward after that & I became a very good husband (not tat good but I tried my best) & give my best to make our relationship work.

Its getting better by the days till only recently...

Things are getting better when we got to know that she's pregnant with our 1st child..

1st few month its just like another honeymooning period with the excitement of anticipating our baby.

Of coz we refrained from sex for many months & I was going through mood swings due to the pented up raging hormones...and my work allows me to meet alot of different peoples esp professional women and this added to the stress which I'm experiencing.

Been surfing the forum & d/ling the vids to curb my desires and to release.
Until recently things took an extreme turn when I came across discussions of getting ONS or flings through friendsters & other online friends making progs..

Since I have an old a/c tat depicts my life, I decided to create another a/c like the bro who fished for his friend blah blah..(ahah copy him)

At the start

I just appoached gers & tried to make friends & ask for a chat and having fantasies of bonking them if things goes on smoothly.

I got alot of replies & my new MSN a/c within 2 wks has added around 20 gers into my a/c.

Few wks of chatting & getting to know some of them better builds up our relationship...

Theres this particular ger call YT who was only 17 & taking her Os this yr (ya retained) I'm 10yrs older

So we continued to chat & sms occasionally without any sexual teasing but I revealed to her I wanna find a gf...

Asked her for a meetup but shes not free so for 2 or 3 wks so did not get a chance to meet her until last fri when I was in office doin a check on my msn & see whos online.

& wham she's there so I cheekily ask her out & to my surprised she said ok.

Things went on smoothly as a normal date with watching movie, having dinner & proceeded to the beach (she suggested it).

So at the beach we went to the small tower located near bbq pit 12 or somewhere there & went up.

Up there the atmosphere was very soothing & soon I confessed to her I like her & wanted her to b my gf (sick rite?).

After some hesitation & negotiation, she agreed & we kissed on the tower (I was taken aback when she frenched me like a professional kisser, very passsionately) nevertheless nothing happened on the day itself & I just sent her back home when times up. And decided to meet the following fri for another date.

Things happened so fast that I'm not sure wats going on.

On sat she msg me saying wanna pass me something & requested to meet up. We met & to my surprise she made me a heartshaped cake.

I was very touched & very happy & at this point of time my lust for her became love...

So another date proceeded & I brought her to sentosa to sightsee and mountfaber to have a drink. Afterward we went for dinner & I took her to labador park for a stroll & chat...

When I was hugging her & kissing her on the cheek, I bit her earlob & blew air into her ears & she was giggling & squirming and asked me who taught me that. I told her it was my ex (in fact I did not said anything abt me married or whatsoever) & she returned the favour by doing the same thing to me..

Again, nothing happened & she got a msg from her friend asking her to go clubbing with them.

So she asked if I'm ok to go with her & I agreed..

So things proceed as usual with the night until around 12am when she's suppose to go home but her friend wouldnt let her go & begged her to stay.
Things got abit ugly when her friends keep asking me to go off & finds me a blockage to her staying back & blah blah (u know u know)

So I went off & threw her to her friends (her best friend so I have no qualms) & promised to return by 2am to send her home.

During my absence she msg me saying I hate u lah blah blah y i left her like that....& scolded me for giving her money (I gave her 20bucks just in case if she wanna leave b4 2am she can take a cab)

Nevertheless I showed up at 2am and waited for her.
She was tipsy by the time she came out & I sent her hm.

Nothing happened until we reached her void, she kept asking me if I'm angry with her for scolding me blah blah & she apologised & revealed to me that she's very happy that I kept my promise & went back for her at 2am...

Then she pounded on me & frenched me like nobody's biz & attack my ears like the way I did to her earlier(u reap what u sow...)

Suddenly the temptation is too much for me to take (remember, I refrained from sex for many months) & I drove off to the nearest H81...

We checked in & whatever some of u guys done b4, we did it and twice.

I'm not here to post an FR so no details will be revealed...

After the session I felt damn sextisfied & guilty...so I asked her y did she gave herself to me...

She said that I'm the "good" guy among the bad ones...haha..wat an irony.

But I can proudly say that I bonked her is b coz I love her (not a single thought of "yeah finally I got her" feeling surfaced when I did her)

We slept & checked out in the morning...I felt a sense of guilt towards her & my wife.

My wife is a wonderful person, she may not be the perfect one but shes everything a man would want for a good wife.

And YT is also the kinda of ger a man would want to shower her with love & encouragement...

Now I'm in a deep distress I dunno what will happen from this relationship.

I know its wrong & I'm willing to die a 1000 death for both of them.

But I dare to say I did it out of love and have no regrets if my marriage breaks down or my life coming to an end.

Not that I intended to sacrifice my marriage but I felt that I'm such a failure to my wife & to YT.

I love both of them from the bottom of my heart & I do not know how to handle this situation..

What should I do?

Advice needed...

[handystroke]

This young gal is too young to know what she wants. If u leave your pregnant wife for her, she may dump u down the road when she goes to work and sets her sights on the world.

If you go back to your wife, you better make sure you settle this issue with the young gal cos from what you wrote she sounds like she will give you trouble when she finds out you are married. I suggest you be a bad guy and use money to settle the issue with the gal, tell her you are just fishing around etc etc.

If you leave your wife for her, I suspect there is a high chance this relationship will go off sometime down the line.

This kind of thing you want to play, must tie up all ends, go for the pay and play type, don't go for these love entanglements. Tie you up till no end.

Just my opinion.

[sg02051]

It is better to stop before it gets too late.. After all, i also kenna something similar. only when u are to lose something that is most precious to u then u will realise. More over now u are going to be daddy soon, should do the right thing for your family's happiness.

[fausto]

"My wife is a wonderful person, she may not be the perfect one but shes everything a man would want for a good wife."

and you ask for advice? i think you should go with the 17 yr old SYT, have your heart broken, destroy your marriage, let your baby grow up in a divorce environment, have his/her mother feed lies and have him/her hate you and your guts.

have 50% of everything in both yours and your wife's name split down the middle, pay alimony and child support payments for the next 2.1 decades.

need any more advice?

[verisio]

Bro,

Treasure your wife. If you find it hard to be honest to YT, just write her a sincere and apologetic letter that u cannot see her anymore but u must leave her. Dun have to tell her the reason. Say you are sorry for what you have done but you dun deserve to be with her. Encourage her to forget you n let go.

On the other hand, you can be honest with YT and I swear u'll get hell for cheating her, for taking her 1st when u are a married man. It's ur choice.

Do not leave ur wife! She bore you a child, she loves you and is sacrificing for you. To let her know u have such an affair, will make her hate you and not only that but she may harm her own child.. If you feel u must must be honest.. tell her only after she gives birth. Definitely not now when she's carrying a child and her hormones are all raging and giving her mental mood swings.

You nvr should have stepped onto another boat when you are already in a ship.

Godspeed!

[OceanEleven]

Is it love or lust? You decide for yourself. Barely known YT long enough to even qualified as a friend, you telling us that you love her? The answer lies all around for you to see, there is no need coming here seeking “advices” from people like us. Not that all of us are saints for a start but then we all know the rules of the games.

You know the consequences if all hell break loose and yet choose to challenge the ultimatum, so what else can we say more? Encourage you to be juggler and split time between both of them or steer you towards to making of another widow? Your wife is there, pregnant with the fruit of your love and yet you are fooling around with another SYT? Come on, give us a break; we talk about sex here but not preaching others to find a new love. Ya right, you did not mention anything you being married and of course neither did she ask in the first place so it isn’t your fault, right? Try telling your wife that, if even better seek your parents’ advice on such matters then. All due respect to your parents, perhaps they might shed a light or two on such issues.

I understand the lousy sex, the lost of thrill in married life but I guess that does not justified a good enough reason for one to seek shelter in another woman’s embrace. Yes we do go fooling around once in a blue moon but none would consider jeopardizing what is already in balance. Want to drink milk, can…..but no need to bring the cow home.

[jnlover]

You can still have sex during the pregnacy period... I did that until one week before delivery. So that's not an excuse for your infidelity.

I suggest that you end this mess asap and most important of all, do not tell your wife the truth... al least from now till maybe you baby is 3~4 mths old.
You wife will certainly fall into depression if you do so now and thing can get out of hand quickly (life at stake)!

To me, your relationship is more like a crush rather than love, end it now if not you'll regret for the rest of your life.

Eat (as much as you like) but please wipe you mouth clean after that.

[DashinGuy]

Take the advice of all bros here, and dump the girl before it becomes too late. Trust me, your marriage is a lot more valuable than this one-time thing. And you will be starting a family7 soon, so you will need to spend more time with your wife and baby. The guilt of leaving them or neglecting them will drive you mad bro, so please endure the small sacrifice now, for the greater good you will enjoy in future.

Its just not worth it.

[Tomb]

I jus hope u can leave this SYT..

Ur wife had forgiven ur past with ur experience in the HC and decided to have a baby with you..
Its time u cherish ur wife back..

Guess its a matter of lust over love.. where u are lonely now..

Good luck..

[Orgasmic]

Thread starter is just one of the guys in Singapore who has had two-timing experience before.

I would estimate 70% of guys to have flings outside marriage at one point or another.

I myself is involved with lawyers and teachers etc. and I mean CONCURRENTLY.

[wukong68]

Originally Posted by DashinGuy

Take the advice of all bros here, and dump the girl before it becomes too late. Trust me, your marriage is a lot more valuable than this one-time thing. And you will be starting a family7 soon, so you will need to spend more time with your wife and baby. The guilt of leaving them or neglecting them will drive you mad bro, so please endure the small sacrifice now, for the greater good you will enjoy in future.

Its just not worth it.

I totally agree bro...

SO my advise is... Wana Drink MILK DUN BRING THE WHOLE COW BACK HOME LA!

[tltl]

bro, give up the young girl... go for a more stable family.. wat the girl can give u, u can achieve similar satisfaction using your hands, with no troubles after that.. but what your wife can give you (a stable n loving family), it takes lots of time to build...

[thomas88]

Everyone is telling you not to leave your wife and you can be sure I'm also going to do the same. But I'd suggest you never reveal this affair to your wife at all as some things are better left unknown.

The other things I'll advice is don't tell the syt you're married which will break her heart for she might not be able to take that and do something stupid. Just tell her in a nice way that both of you are not compatible or whatever method you know that will not cause her devastating effect.

[fat29]

I can't tell you what to do. My friend also had a similar experience but had a slightly different twist. His wife wasn't pregnant and his gf was actually the wife (pretend her name is June) of another man.

My friend (pretend his name is George) got acquainted with this man (pretend his name is Philips) in business. Philips found George to be very trustworthy and reasonably well to do. Philips suffers from ED and has severe heart problems and his lifespan is limited. Philips offered June to be George's GF so that he will take care of her.

George fell in love with June but he had a wife at the same time. In the end, he managed to convince his wife into allowing him to keep a minor wife at the side. The story is quite long but I have shortened it.

If threadstarter can persuade his wife and gf to let him have the best of both worlds, then his worries and frustrations will be over for now. As most ladies will not agree to polygamy, I think it is useful for him to be transparent with his gf and end the relationship before the hurt gets deeper. Be prepared to compensate the gal some money if it helps.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

leave the syt loh bro..no matter u really love or dun love her just take it as a fling and forget it..

if u sit down and think carefully you will still leave her voluntarily wan..wife and child more impt..pls dun make the crucial wrong turn of yr life nw..