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Old 11-02-2016, 12:40 AM
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Thumbs up Watchman Rapes Mummy At The Museum! Guess The Race?

An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:



According to his colleagues, he suddenly became very depressed and short-tempered, and began behaving rather strangely. On two occasions, his superior even noticed that one of the mummies seemed to have been damaged during his watch, leading to the installation of some new video cameras.

The images captured by these cameras were far more disturbing than what his boss expected.


The cameras caught Mr. Monroe on Monday evening, opening the glass display case protecting the 2500-year old Egyptian mummy, lying down on top of it and sexually aggressing it. The Smithsonian fired the watchman and brought the images to the police, filing charges against their former employee for indecent exposure and destruction of property.



“The security video that the Smithsonian has provided us is really disgusting,” says D.C Police Chief, Cathy Lynn Lanier. “I understand that the mummy is not really a victim of sex crimes, but his behavior certainly caused some damages to the property of the Smithsonian, therefore, his behavior is criminal. And let’s be honest, I think he really needs help.”

Mr Monroe will undergo a psychiatric assessment before the beginning of the court procedures, in order to determine if he is able to stand trial.
This process should take a few weeks, meaning Mr Monroe will probably come back in court only in March.

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