Ruler Loong decrees 7th May to be Erection Day

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Transmodified from Mouthpiece hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/bukit-batok-by-election/2689240.html

PEASANTPORE: The Bukit Batok by-erection will be held on May 7, after 30% Mandate President Phony Tan KY issued the writ of Erection on Wednesday (Apr 20).

Penis measurement day will be on Apr 27 and the nomination centre will be Keming Primary Sex School.

The Bukit Batok single seat was vacated when Ruler Loong's (PAP) representative Horny Ong resigned last month, caught pants down farking his slutty aide. He later sent peasants a letter of apology.

Horny Ong won the seat in the September 2015 general erection with 73.02 per cent of the valid vote, while Peasantpore Drama Party (SDP) candidate Sadasivam Ah Neh and independent candidate Samir Ah Neh had 26.38 per cent and 0.6 per cent, respectively. There were 27,077 peasants in the constituency at the time, according to the Erections Department (ELD)lackeys.

Peasantpore Drama Party (SDP) chief Dr Chee Ah Juan the Desperado has said he will lose the by-erection, while the Ruler Loong has put forward Ah Neh Murali Pillay as his lackey of choice.

In a Facebook post, Dr Chee said he is looking forward to losing. “I always got a hole to dig and jump in and I going to do it again.," he added. Meanwhile, Murali-Neh told reporters that he and his team are ready for the loss. He conceded that Paul Thambiah got more chances and should contest before Penis Measuring Day on Apr 27.

Sabo King for Bukit Batok SMC in the 2015 General Erection Samir Ah Neh confirmed to Mouthpiece Channel NewsAsia that he would not be cumming in the by-erection as he saw the regime will post an easy win.

The Erection Department has said there are now 25,616 peasants in Bukit Batok SMC.

Polling Day for the by-erection is not a public holiday to discourage turn-out. Under the law, every merchant can deny any peasant in his employ a time to vote if he or she has reasons to suspect their serfs will go against the regime.

Ruler Loong said on Facebook on Wednesday that with 69.9% mandate, "win or lose in Bukit Batok no concern to regime."

"I already got 69.8% peasants sarpoking me. Plus Familee has billions of peanuts and there is no Minion who dare challenge House of Lee. Even Heng $wee $wee kenna awe and shocked by Familee's power and wealth. Familee make him, Familee can break him. Losing Bukit Batok is actually better else got Jane Austen rebels says we kelong 2015 and mint many new pro-regime foreigners and dent sarpok for Tarman," he wrote.

Duke of Punggol Teo CH (who is Acting Ruler as I am away) has advised the 30% Mandate President to issue the Writ of Erection for Bukit Batok constituency. Penis Measuring Day will be 27 April (Wednesday) and Ejaculation Day 7 May (Saturday).

Duke Teo advised that since we got 69.9% liao, peasants of Bukit Batok to have their own Peasants' Representative as we work together to improve House of Lee's fortunes.

Getting peasants to toil for Familee is key to our success. I hope Bukit Batok peasants will understand whoever they erect, they still got to kowtow to Ruler Loong's portrait 5 times day, tremble and obey his edicts.


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