Advise for handling LDR(Long Distance Rls) Heartbreaks

[de4dman]

I was in a serious LDR with a China girl for the past 1.5 yrs. Pretty looks with a clean background (nv worked in KTVs etc). We knew each other when she was a tourist here. Like many other Chinese women, during the Rls, she did mention marriage on afew occasions..but I just find the idea to marry someone u had barely met, and nv paktor in the same state before..absurd. Also considering how expensive it is to get married in Singapore and to buy a house etc..I wasn't financially ready to get married. I didn't flat out reject the idea, but told her we would first have to stead tgt(in the same state) before deciding to get married. She was looking to work overseas at that pt and I told her I would help her to find a job in SG, and she agreed to wait for me and come over to SG.

Afew months later, I managed to find her a job in sg. But she suddenly stopped replying my msgs and calls. Eventually she told me she was preparing to go USA to work. I was pretty upset but accepted it. Then on the day she left for USA..pattern come out liao. She stopped replying to my msgs..and I was actually worrying if she landed in US safely. I called her, and not only did she not pick up, she suddenly blocked my wechat. No explanation whatsoever. I was taken aback. That was her way of silent breakup. Actually from the photos she posted, I could pretty much tell she went on the trip with another guy, but I can't confront her abt it.

Fast forward another 7 months later(which is this week), we somehow reconnected thru a singing app. She apologised, but didn't explain anything. Only kept saying sorry. It was only when I pressed further that she told me that she was getting married this week(to get US citizenship). She also told me of her intention to become successful in the US, so she can realise her dreams of buying a house and car, and she wants a better life. This is the same girl that had promised me she would come to SG, and would marry only me, and would marry me even if I was penniless. I was disgusted as hell but at the same time I understood her wanting a better life. I feel stupid as hell for waiting for her the last 7 months. Bcos she did not gave me an explanation at that time, I chose to believe in her and couldn't move on with my life. Deep down, I do have that little tinge of hate towards her.

So here is the golden qn:
A) Should I give her a piece of my mind and cut her completely off my life? To save my pride and save myself of the misery. Hopefully she will reflect on what she did wrong. But ultimately that would prob lead me to being blocked and possibly nv see her in real life again.
Or B) Try to brush it off and remain friends with her. (but if I just brush it off as if nothing happened that is pretty much an unattractive trait or maybe even weak?) Maybe hope somewhere down the line she can be my FWB. I admit I do have that devillish revenge desire in me. As we didn't do 'IT' during our rls period. Not only did I bought her gifts, but I sent abit of money to China to help her out financially when she was a Uni student.

Appreciate all advices.

[HelloAngel]

Forget that she ever existed and move on with your life. There are plenty of single SG gals who are probably more real than your China gal. No point giving her a piece of your mind cos you are just wasting energy and she won't bother. She disappeared once and doesn't treasure your friendship so what for waste time on someone who will eventually be gone from your life. Have a big heart, forget her n move on.

[justl00king]

Barely met n she mention marriage, never paktor same state, never do "IT" , u send her gifts n money?
Sounds like she just wants citizenship, since u hesitate, she went for greener pastures, now to the US.
Lesson learnt, lucky never marry. If married and she gets citizenship, may just dump u immediately.

Do u know how many China gals that I just barely know for a few months, will mention marriage to me? Many!

Dun listen in to too much sweet talk, marry u even if u r penniless? Just like we sweet talk the babes to bed them, they'll KC us too with motive.
Keep as FWB, not a good idea, doubt u can control yr feelings n handle her KC. If u do get the chance, just go bang her silly n then quickly dump her.
Not even worth to be your friend, she only wants citizenship n your $$$.

It's just a game. U bang her without spending too much, u win.She gets your $$$ without even letting u bang, she won.
Also dun need to waste your time n energy to give her a piece of your mind. Some money lost is fine, just part n parcel of the learninig process, be a gentleman n just move on.
Next time, bang first talk later. If money request starts coming, time to say goodbye.

[JuicyBlanket]

Dont ever forget her.look at the positive side she gave u a lesson.remember what u have gone thru so u will avoid making the same mistake again.its not easy to get over this heartbreak but things always move forward instead of falling backwards.

[a2014]

Why bother to ask questions on what to do next. What has come already came, and what is going already gone.

You have lost nothing unless you say you have already spent tons of money on her. She say she want to marry you and you belief, she say she want to go US and you belief. Don't feel surprise you meet her one day in Singapore and she offer you another explanation and so you belief again.

I guess what had gone already gone so no need to take revenge or anything else. All communication will eventually cease when time come. I have met such people before and till date still on WeChat for donkey years. Some how they won't burn the bridge they will just be in there for the sake of knowing you before. So be it let it be there and amuse yourself and herself as well. I don't even bother to delete the contact on my WeChat and sometime just go take a look and laugh at those comment she post. Just like a silence reader.

Time to move on and take care.

[voluptuousvenus]

Bro, u dig her so much you arent thinking straight. The moment money is in the picture (sent her money for uni), that is not a proper relationship. Cant buy love bro. She sure will just use you so be thankful that she already went to US and marry that dumb (sorry for being blunt) guy. Anyway, he will also get tired of her after he finds out it's a marriage of convenience and please don't ever get back with her again if she will try. You will definitely get over her. This is what SBF is for right?! When you are about to think of her, just read OurWorld's thread. Ok?! All the best!

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by voluptuousvenus

Bro, u dig her so much you arent thinking straight. The moment money is in the picture (sent her money for uni), that is not a proper relationship. Cant buy love bro. She sure will just use you so be thankful that she already went to US and marry that dumb (sorry for being blunt) guy. Anyway, he will also get tired of her after he finds out it's a marriage of convenience and please don't ever get back with her again if she will try. You will definitely get over her. This is what SBF is for right?! When you are about to think of her, just read OurWorld's thread. Ok?! All the best!

Well said ! ..V. Good recommendation & POV from tis sis for the bro ...

[arsenal_84]

normally i would cut off contact with such money minded ladies, don't bother so much as there are plenty of other ladies around.
thais are pretty much also the same, don't fool yourself into thinking that you are their only man.

[demonhunter]

Originally Posted by justl00king

Barely met n she mention marriage, never paktor same state, never do "IT" , u send her gifts n money?
Sounds like she just wants citizenship, since u hesitate, she went for greener pastures, now to the US.
Lesson learnt, lucky never marry. If married and she gets citizenship, may just dump u immediately.

Do u know how many China gals that I just barely know for a few months, will mention marriage to me? Many!

Dun listen in to too much sweet talk, marry u even if u r penniless? Just like we sweet talk the babes to bed them, they'll KC us too with motive.
Keep as FWB, not a good idea, doubt u can control yr feelings n handle her KC. If u do get the chance, just go bang her silly n then quickly dump her.
Not even worth to be your friend, she only wants citizenship n your $$$.

It's just a game. U bang her without spending too much, u win.She gets your $$$ without even letting u bang, she won.
Also dun need to waste your time n energy to give her a piece of your mind. Some money lost is fine, just part n parcel of the learninig process, be a gentleman n just move on.
Next time, bang first talk later. If money request starts coming, time to say goodbye.

Wah u really becoming more and more like me leh .....

[voluptuousvenus]

Originally Posted by Rickey

Well said ! ..V. Good recommendation & POV from tis sis for the bro ...

Thank you Rickey! Haha

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by voluptuousvenus

Thank you Rickey! Haha

You're most welcome, sis voluptuousvenus ...ladies like you & sis helloangel are wat we guys need in SBF ...giving such practical advices on r/s problems frm ladies' POV ...keep it up !

Btw, haven heard frm TS since his 1st post...wonder how he is getting on ?

[kpkblppl2]

TS behave like a kid.
A big time loser.
Anyone will just take it as an experience in life and matured with the event passing.

[PandaFluff]

Money is the root of all evil. Believe me when I say once she has move to dat USA and she will surly find her next target a even "richer" man that might provide her a house, car and boat for all we know.

I would just move on, you are better off in any case. It would not have ended well for you bro.


Disclaimer: Money does not buy happiness

[de4dman]

Thanks bros and sis for all the advices and positive encouragement. I really appreciate it. It has given alot of strength to move forward. Don't worry I am fine. I was just silently reading and needing time to heal and reflect. Like many bros here said, I have come to the realization that this girl is not the right girl for me to marry. Even if I had married her, it probably would have ended in divorce too once she starts to get to know some rich guy in sg. So, no big loss and it was a lucky escape for me. I shall embrace my newfound single life and freedom, and also the SBF world.

Originally Posted by a2014

Why bother to ask questions on what to do next. What has come already came, and what is going already gone.

You have lost nothing unless you say you have already spent tons of money on her. She say she want to marry you and you belief, she say she want to go US and you belief. Don't feel surprise you meet her one day in Singapore and she offer you another explanation and so you belief again.

Bro I do agree very much with u but in my case, the girl really did go to the US. I could see it from photos she posted on wechat. But yea, there are really these kind of girls who are perpetual liars and I won't be surprised to see them in sg too haha.

Originally Posted by voluptuousvenus

Bro, u dig her so much you arent thinking straight. The moment money is in the picture (sent her money for uni), that is not a proper relationship. Cant buy love bro. She sure will just use you so be thankful that she already went to US and marry that dumb (sorry for being blunt) guy. Anyway, he will also get tired of her after he finds out it's a marriage of convenience and please don't ever get back with her again if she will try. You will definitely get over her. This is what SBF is for right?! When you are about to think of her, just read OurWorld's thread. Ok?! All the best!

Thanks for the very positive msg sis! yea now come to think it, the guy that marry her is pretty dumb hehe. I'm also of the opinion that marriage of convenience won't end well that's why I didn't rush into marriage. wish there are more nice girls like u ard sis.

Originally Posted by kpkblppl2

TS behave like a kid.
A big time loser.
Anyone will just take it as an experience in life and matured with the event passing.

Kid? I have served my NS. not sure abt u troll.
loser? I guess alot of ppl out there have experienced heartbreaks too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I am not that experienced in the KC game, which is why I am seeking out the advices of others. U did not walk a mile in my shoes. It is normal to feel feelings of hurt. I learn from the advices of others and I will definitely come out of this stronger. Not so sure who is this big time loser u are talking abt. Maybe it's that ugly, insecure bastard that u see when u look in the mirror every morning?? lol. Calling someone a kid does not make u an adult. Calling someone a loser does not make u a winner. If u did not realize it, Mr Kpkb, u are the only one here that came here to flame and spread negativity, and that speaks volume abt your character. Keep deluding yourself that u are this "super-matured-adult cum big-time-winner" buddy. Good luck!

Originally Posted by PandaFluff

Money is the root of all evil. Believe me when I say once she has move to dat USA and she will surly find her next target a even "richer" man that might provide her a house, car and boat for all we know.

I would just move on, you are better off in any case. It would not have ended well for you bro.


Disclaimer: Money does not buy happiness

haha thx bro, spot on. I guess if Obama decides to woo her, she would immediately dump her new husband for him! damn those gold-diggas.

[kpkblppl2]

Originally Posted by de4dman

Thanks bros and sis for all the advices and positive encouragement. I really appreciate it. It has given alot of strength to move forward. Don't worry I am fine. I was just silently reading and needing time to heal and reflect. Like many bros here said, I have come to the realization that this girl is not the right girl for me to marry. Even if I had married her, it probably would have ended in divorce too once she starts to get to know some rich guy in sg. So, no big loss and it was a lucky escape for me. I shall embrace my newfound single life and freedom, and also the SBF world.

Glad you woken up.

Originally Posted by de4dman

Calling someone a kid does not make u an adult. Calling someone a loser does not make u a winner. If u did not realize it, Mr Kpkb, u are the only one here that came here to flame and spread negativity, and that speaks volume abt your character. Keep deluding yourself that u are this "super-matured-adult cum big-time-winner" buddy. Good luck!

I feel for you. You have to thank me for knocking some sense to you yesterday.