Bro help! i screw up big time....

[justwanadoit]

Hi all bros,

i came here to share becuase i really got no where to turn to. me and my gal fren are going to be married soon, gotta nice flat, nice bridal package and everything going real smooth until today.

we went search for banquets and due to some oversight on my part we quarrelled and to cut the long story short, i screw up big time by slapping her in the heat of the arguement. Her gum bleed a bit. I immediately apologised and i know i really screw up for not controlling my rage. Now my gf have doubts about my character as this is 2nd time i slap her. The whole wedding plans and my relationship with her is in jeopardy. i love her very much and would want to spend my life with her, she is a very noce lady and would acceed to many of my request and accept my eccentricities, she is now scared and worried i am a wife beater. Jia lad...i felt so helpless and sad and disappointed with myself all in one go, all becuase of 1 moment of folly.

can any bros advise what to do now? feel damn jia lad and nervous and...sigh...how to win back her confidence now?

bros, i hope u guys dun flame me even though u feel disgusted by by action. i am disgusted with what i did too. I am not a violent person.merely seeking help as i desperate liao.

[SexFreak]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

i screw up big time by slapping her in the heat of the arguement. Her gum bleed a bit.............how to win back her confidence now?

That's a HUGE mistake !!! You are the only person who know how to win her back as you know what she likes and dislikes. Work within the framework :

1) Sincere Apology;
2) Make her happy;
3) Enlist helps from her close one;
4) Give your assurance;
5) Keep your promise.

Good Luck.


Cheers !!!

[bleahhh]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

Hi all bros,

i came here to share becuase i really got no where to turn to. me and my gal fren are going to be married soon, gotta nice flat, nice bridal package and everything going real smooth until today.

we went search for banquets and due to some oversight on my part we quarrelled and to cut the long story short, i screw up big time by slapping her in the heat of the arguement. Her gum bleed a bit. I immediately apologised and i know i really screw up for not controlling my rage. Now my gf have doubts about my character as this is 2nd time i slap her. The whole wedding plans and my relationship with her is in jeopardy. i love her very much and would want to spend my life with her, she is a very noce lady and would acceed to many of my request and accept my eccentricities, she is now scared and worried i am a wife beater. Jia lad...i felt so helpless and sad and disappointed with myself all in one go, all becuase of 1 moment of folly.

can any bros advise what to do now? feel damn jia lad and nervous and...sigh...how to win back her confidence now?

bros, i hope u guys dun flame me even though u feel disgusted by by action. i am disgusted with what i did too. I am not a violent person.merely seeking help as i desperate liao.

i really think u should control urself, its the SECOND Time some more...


gd luck man...i really cant think of any advice..

[ass_robber]

talk to her, make her forgive u, until she v v tired, scream and shout until she got no voice, then suddenly at night, she will stroke your hair, and kiss u. Trick, she is going to SCREAM alot, so shout up or you might break her teeth.

[thomas88]

Let me say this in fairness.....you've slapped her twice already even before you're married. Mark my words...you'll slap her even more once she's your wife.

The only solution is get her to bring you to seek a psychiatric help in controlling your temper as a sign of your sincerity. That's the only way to regain her confidence in you.

You must learn never never ever lift your finger on a girl regardless of whatever relationship she has with you.

[xxquietquiet]

Bro

Dont mean to flame you. But I think situation quite jia lat.
She may not be wrong but you really have to control your temper.
A couple of years ago, I did wat you did ...
I lost my cool when my wife to be suddenly cancelled wedding plans out of no reason and everything already planned for wedding banquets, gowns, ROM dates....
Imagine the embarrassment to my folks and my family,

But that was not the reason I slapped her, she tells me that I could arrange the plans for the next girl...

Anyway, it is an irreconcilable moment.
So we never got back again.

Bro a slap from a guy means adios amigo really... cos it will always leave a mark on her.

Be prepared for the worst but keep it cool lah, life has many ships and sailors and some sailors are never meant to be on board your ship. So try and live with it and be cool.

I know it is not easy but that is the best advice I can give you.

But you should really control your actions, words may wound and actions will kill the whole relationship.

I suggest you drop any idea of getting the thing back. It aint going to happen. Just be glad her parents and family never come knocking on your door and demand satisfaction....

Take it from someone who has gone through it.

Let it go and move on. But you really control your violent behaviour....
Once physical abuse starts it never ends....

What to do? Life is such...Just do not repeat it.

Any way if her parents know about it, which they will cos she will tell them. They will never let you marry their daughter for sure...

Dont do anything silly ....ok bro, there are many more things to look forward in life if things really go awry....

[justwanadoit]

sigh..yi si zhu chen qian gu hen ...at least just now she still aceept my call. but i think once she opened her mouth to tell her parents it will be all over. but i can understand her need to share such this with her parents. but once share , habis liao...everything over. really stressed out, feel like dying.

[Landlord]

Bro..... Let me give you my opinion and i will give it to you objectively. Am i disgusted with your action? Nope. Your gf is right to question your character as you are and will be a wife beater. In my line of work, I have seen a few and believe me, it's in the making. Once you are married and you have settled down...meaning you are no longer passionate and making less effort to please your wife. You will start being one. Especially if things are not working out well ar you have some problems in life.

Firstly wife beaters do not necessary have a bad temper. It's when they lose their temper, they lose control of all reasoning. Some of them are actually pretty nice people.

Secondly, wife beaters do love their wife and they swear by it and I think they really believe that. their only excuse is that they were so worked up that they lose control. After beating up the wife, they will apologize profusely and swear never to do it again. That is until the angry head rears again. The saying is correct, if it can happen once, it will happen again.

Thirdly, you have very little respect for women. If you do, this would never have even happen, much less twice. I think you better review your character. Looks familiar

Look at it this way, if she choose not to marry you, she is doing you a favor saving you from paying her alimony when she divorce you for being a wife beater and also from prison. I am sure you read recent murders which was committed due to rage. Its how it begins

Harsh words indeed from me but it's the truth. Nothing personal but it's a flaw on your character. Now the good news and solution..... Go for counselling about controlling your temper and really take the sessions seriously, understand the reason why you cannot control your rage. It's called anger management. If you do, maybe you can convince your gf that you are serious about her and at the same time do some good for yourself. If not, even if she does not marry you, you will inflict the same to some other poor woman. It will always be a lose lose situation for you to get married.

Hope this helps

[xxquietquiet]

Bro,

Cool it.

There is nothing you can do liao.

If her parents came for satisfaction, be prepared and apologised.

Dont make the thing jia lat jia lat that they call police ok?

You sa la so bo bian liao....

Be cool.

[justwanadoit]

Originally Posted by Landlord

Bro..... Let me give you my opinion and i will give it to you objectively. Am i disgusted with your action? Nope. Your gf is right to question your character as you are and will be a wife beater. In my line of work, I have seen a few and believe me, it's in the making. Once you are married and you have settled down...meaning you are no longer passionate and making less effort to please your wife. You will start being one. Especially if things are not working out well ar you have some problems in life.

Firstly wife beaters do not necessary have a bad temper. It's when they lose their temper, they lose control of all reasoning. Some of them are actually pretty nice people.

Secondly, wife beaters do love their wife and they swear by it and I think they really believe that. their only excuse is that they were so worked up that they lose control. After beating up the wife, they will apologize profusely and swear never to do it again. That is until the angry head rears again. The saying is correct, if it can happen once, it will happen again.

Thirdly, you have very little respect for women. If you do, this would never have even happen, much less twice. I think you better review your character. Looks familiar

Look at it this way, if she choose not to marry you, she is doing you a favor saving you from paying her alimony when she divorce you for being a wife beater and also from prison. I am sure you read recent murders which was committed due to rage. Its how it begins

Harsh words indeed from me but it's the truth. Nothing personal but it's a flaw on your character. Now the good news and solution..... Go for counselling about controlling your temper and really take the sessions seriously, understand the reason why you cannot control your rage. It's called anger management. If you do, maybe you can convince your gf that you are serious about her and at the same time do some good for yourself. If not, even if she does not marry you, you will inflict the same to some other poor woman. It will always be a lose lose situation for you to get married.

Hope this helps

thanks bro. but i think i will consider counselling after her decision to accept me back or not.

but I still cannot imagine I am one of those wife beaters that newspapers talk about, how can it be? Shucks....is my fate sealed? i dun wanna to be wife beater leh.wtf. oh man...really feel like...sigh

[Landlord]

Why after her decision??!! The problem is not your marriage but you. What has this got to do with her decision. Do yourself a favour and just go for the classes. Is it only you who is in so much self denial or are we all wrong. Go read this post I found for you and hopefully you will understand what women in general are talking about people like you.

http://weddingideas.com/forum/forum_...=1868&PA GE=1

Personally I don't think you are a bad person, just lost. There is no point in self reproach if you do not change. Period!~!!! Go to IMH website. They will have anger management courses. If they don't they will refer you to one. For your own and your future wife sake, just do it. if you love yourself(not your wife) go. I am sure many will support your decision and we will hope for the best for you.

[Rof|maoxz]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

thanks bro. but i think i will consider counselling after her decision to accept me back or not.

but I still cannot imagine I am one of those wife beaters that newspapers talk about, how can it be? Shucks....is my fate sealed? i dun wanna to be wife beater leh.wtf. oh man...really feel like...sigh

You need to tighten up your explosion behaviour and control you emotion let-off, as it will surely lead into a severe consequence later on. Your future wife muz be equally appalled by your second slaping incident. Inside her, she might still love you, but such incident could leave her a deep internal scar, which may make her re-consider her future with you now. Let her have a cooling period at this moment. Take care, go easy.

[SDMM]

You are a wife beater fullstop
Guess it boosted your ego big time when you hands met flesh huh?
Guys like you are not meant to be married

[Sboobs_lover]

Originally Posted by Landlord

Why after her decision??!! The problem is not your marriage but you.

Bros Landlord is right. To prove tat u really wan to change, seek counsel, it is the root of the problem. Maybe she see u changin, there is a hope.

But doesnt mean tat if she choose to leave u in the end, u no need to seek counsel anymore. If u dun solve tis problem every of ur wife-to-be will face the same problem again......

[snooker]

I know what I write here may not be pleasant to you but it will save you from prison in the future...

If you gf before marrying you is capable to make you so angry that you had slapped her twice, I will bet a million dollars that you'll beat her up in one of your quarrels after you marry her and it will be police case and you'll end up in jail..

You can't even control your temper now, before you marry her.
After she has become your wife, your tolerance level will be even lower, and she will make you more angry, you'll even feel like killing her in the future...

Save yourself! I think they cane wife abuse in Singapore....