Is it ok to stay single my whole life?

[Peacekeeping]

I’m in my 30s, never had a long term gf, never married. There have been opportunities to know some decent and average looking gals but I have rejected it all. I don’t want to fall into the trap of settling down and go with the motion like everyone around me. To me marriage is for life, if a gal can’t satisfy me in terms of looks, I can’t face her for life. That said, it’s also hard for me to find a pretty wife as I’m neither rich nor a sweet talker. It feels like I’m missing out on something that only a marriage can give me. Love is selfish, you always want the best for yourself whether you deserve it or not.

Any singles in the same predicament as me?

[BushTracker]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single your whole life. It is your life and you get to live it the way you want, provided it does does not do harm to others.

I would just like to mention that your view of potential wife must be pretty in your opinion. You do know that people age right? And pretty doesn't last. IMHO, we should look for person with character that is compatible with ourselves. So what a girl has the face of an angel but if she is not a pleasant person to be around, would you still consider her as wife?

[pearlnjewel]

Originally Posted by BushTracker

There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single your whole life. It is your life and you get to live it the way you want, provided it does does not do harm to others.

I would just like to mention that your view of potential wife must be pretty in your opinion. You do know that people age right? And pretty doesn't last. IMHO, we should look for person with character that is compatible with ourselves. So what a girl has the face of an angel but if she is not a pleasant person to be around, would you still consider her as wife?

Agree, must find someone compatible in character and you genuinely feel interested in. But also must look decent 6, 7/10.

[pearlnjewel]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

I’m in my 30s, never had a long term gf, never married. There have been opportunities to know some decent and average looking gals but I have rejected it all. I don’t want to fall into the trap of settling down and go with the motion like everyone around me. To me marriage is for life, if a gal can’t satisfy me in terms of looks, I can’t face her for life. That said, it’s also hard for me to find a pretty wife as I’m neither rich nor a sweet talker. It feels like I’m missing out on something that only a marriage can give me. Love is selfish, you always want the best for yourself whether you deserve it or not.

Any singles in the same predicament as me?

Many guys in same predicament bro, theres nothing i can do about it too if it makes ypu feel better. Nowadays i practice jomo a new term for all brothers here who never hear this before, Joy of Missing out.

So i practice joy of missing out these days and i feel much more relieve and happier. Whenever i go orchard and i see a lot of chiobus with their bf i no longer feel that bad of myself any longer. Im like ah so good got couples pak tor but i dont feel any strong jealousy anymore. Once in a while my satan mindset will come back like this bloody couple better rot in hell but i guess its normal. Especially those asshole zhabor piblic display of affection

I am like 'life' you give me lemon (lonely and single not my choice) im gonna make you a lemonade (i believe if 'life' is a person what goes around comes around). This thing call 'life' will suffer too when its turn comes. So 'life' better give me what i want before it suffers what im suffering.

[1ly4sam]

Beauty is not everything .. its about having a partner to love and share.. just make gf and one may attract you to be the person , it may not be about first impression.. do not compromise , just keep looking

[sbwow]

I thought about this before.

Everyone has different ways of interpreting life.

Just make a list of pros & cons for Single vs Married list.

Whichever you like better, go ahead with that life taking into account your own personality. Ultimately, it's a game of life.

Some questions to ponder
Would I like more work with wife and kids around?
Would I have kids and do I want it?
Would I still be able to do the things that I want during single?
Can I truly live alone without feeling unhappy?
Should I move in with relatives, make more friends, rent an apartment with other tenants so I dont have to feel alone in later stages of life?
I can retire earlier without financial burden of kids and wife IMO, This is the best i feel

[peanodood1337]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

I’m in my 30s, never had a long term gf, never married. There have been opportunities to know some decent and average looking gals but I have rejected it all. I don’t want to fall into the trap of settling down and go with the motion like everyone around me. To me marriage is for life, if a gal can’t satisfy me in terms of looks, I can’t face her for life. That said, it’s also hard for me to find a pretty wife as I’m neither rich nor a sweet talker. It feels like I’m missing out on something that only a marriage can give me. Love is selfish, you always want the best for yourself whether you deserve it or not.

Any singles in the same predicament as me?

I was in my early 30s, was perfectly happy being single. Never thought I was the settling down type. Content to go on casual dates etc. I was in the exact same position as you. But eventually I gave in to FOMO, started to be more serious in looking around, and met someone who I thought was the love of my life. Got swept up in a whirlwind romance, and married after a year of dating.

It didn't work out. She walked out after 4 years. While nobody really did anybody an injustice, it was still a pretty fucked up experience to be walked out on for absolutely nothing other than the fact that she changed her mind. The fortunate thing is that there were no kids, and she isn't a money grubber, so I am not owned by Women's Charter. I was lucky. So many other dudes out there who got burnt.

TS, you mentioned how you would like to find someone good looking so that you can "face her for life". But how about the person's character? She needs to be compatible in terms of personality and life goals as well, as that is truly what you need to deal with for the rest of your life. To be honest, my ex is easily S-tier in terms of looks. But we were arguing about stupid things almost every other day. On hindsight, it was a pretty miserable union and we were better off apart. Don't be like me. Looks aren't everything.

To any bros out there in a similar situation - please don't give in to FOMO or peer pressure. This is not a race. There is no competition. Ask yourself:

1. Are you happy now? Do you think you need to be with someone else to be happy?
2. Are you able to commit?
3. Are you going to be a responsible parent?

At the end of the day, never say never, you never know what life is going to bring you. If you meet someone nice, go for it. If you don't, you can still be a happy single too. Just don't get caught up in the heat of the moment - choose wisely. The best thing for you to do now, is to keep an open mind, and continue to improve yourself.

Take care and good luck.

[iluvbreast]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

I’m in my 30s, never had a long term gf, never married. There have been opportunities to know some decent and average looking gals but I have rejected it all. I don’t want to fall into the trap of settling down and go with the motion like everyone around me. To me marriage is for life, if a gal can’t satisfy me in terms of looks, I can’t face her for life. That said, it’s also hard for me to find a pretty wife as I’m neither rich nor a sweet talker. It feels like I’m missing out on something that only a marriage can give me. Love is selfish, you always want the best for yourself whether you deserve it or not.

Any singles in the same predicament as me?

If you can ask a dumb like that, then you are better off by yourself, don't get the girl into trouble.

This is your life isn't it? You need to ask in a SEX FORUM??

But since you ask nicely, I think the only question is ask yourself if you are happy with your life now?

If you are, then why not stay single or if it is family life you yearn, then go get a suitable girl and marry lor.

Ultimately isn't life the pursuit of happiness? What is the problem?

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by iluvbreast

If you can ask a dumb like that, then you are better off by yourself, don't get the girl into trouble.

This is your life isn't it? You need to ask in a SEX FORUM??

But since you ask nicely, I think the only question is ask yourself if you are happy with your life now?

If you are, then why not stay single or if it is family life you yearn, then go get a suitable girl and marry lor.

Ultimately isn't life the pursuit of happiness? What is the problem?

Bro, if you think that’s a dumb question probably you shouldn’t answer it. I do think it’s a legit question to post in “matters of the heart”. Thanks for the advise though.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by peanodood1337

I was in my early 30s, was perfectly happy being single. Never thought I was the settling down type. Content to go on casual dates etc. I was in the exact same position as you. But eventually I gave in to FOMO, started to be more serious in looking around, and met someone who I thought was the love of my life. Got swept up in a whirlwind romance, and married after a year of dating.

It didn't work out. She walked out after 4 years. While nobody really did anybody an injustice, it was still a pretty fucked up experience to be walked out on for absolutely nothing other than the fact that she changed her mind. The fortunate thing is that there were no kids, and she isn't a money grubber, so I am not owned by Women's Charter. I was lucky. So many other dudes out there who got burnt.

TS, you mentioned how you would like to find someone good looking so that you can "face her for life". But how about the person's character? She needs to be compatible in terms of personality and life goals as well, as that is truly what you need to deal with for the rest of your life. To be honest, my ex is easily S-tier in terms of looks. But we were arguing about stupid things almost every other day. On hindsight, it was a pretty miserable union and we were better off apart. Don't be like me. Looks aren't everything.

To any bros out there in a similar situation - please don't give in to FOMO or peer pressure. This is not a race. There is no competition. Ask yourself:

1. Are you happy now? Do you think you need to be with someone else to be happy?
2. Are you able to commit?
3. Are you going to be a responsible parent?

At the end of the day, never say never, you never know what life is going to bring you. If you meet someone nice, go for it. If you don't, you can still be a happy single too. Just don't get caught up in the heat of the moment - choose wisely. The best thing for you to do now, is to keep an open mind, and continue to improve yourself.

Take care and good luck.

Never dated a S class before but heard people say usually super pretty gals have lousy character. Maybe because they have been pampered all their life. If I can I would also like to meet a decent looking gal (7/10) with good upbringing. Met such a gal before but unable to get her. You did what many people would have did, find someone you thought was good and chope her fast. It was unfortunate it didn’t last. I hope you will eventually meet the right one if you are still looking out.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by pearlnjewel

Many guys in same predicament bro, theres nothing i can do about it too if it makes ypu feel better. Nowadays i practice jomo a new term for all brothers here who never hear this before, Joy of Missing out.

So i practice joy of missing out these days and i feel much more relieve and happier. Whenever i go orchard and i see a lot of chiobus with their bf i no longer feel that bad of myself any longer. Im like ah so good got couples pak tor but i dont feel any strong jealousy anymore. Once in a while my satan mindset will come back like this bloody couple better rot in hell but i guess its normal. Especially those asshole zhabor piblic display of affection

I am like 'life' you give me lemon (lonely and single not my choice) im gonna make you a lemonade (i believe if 'life' is a person what goes around comes around). This thing call 'life' will suffer too when its turn comes. So 'life' better give me what i want before it suffers what im suffering.

I feel what you experienced. Sometimes couples see you alone and they will purposely get infront of you and be very affectionate. Some people get a kick from watching others suffer, I just find it amusing. If that’s what making them happy, they will suffer 10x if breakup one day.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by BushTracker

There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single your whole life. It is your life and you get to live it the way you want, provided it does does not do harm to others.

I would just like to mention that your view of potential wife must be pretty in your opinion. You do know that people age right? And pretty doesn't last. IMHO, we should look for person with character that is compatible with ourselves. So what a girl has the face of an angel but if she is not a pleasant person to be around, would you still consider her as wife?

I know gals age faster than us guys. That’s why I decided not to go deeper with someone whom I met was 4 years older, although communication was good and she’s well maintained. I’m in my 30s and have another 20yrs of active sex life so looks is definitely important. Put it bluntly, a gal can accept ugly guy with good qualities more often than a guy can accept ugly gal with good qualities.

[Brightheart]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Never dated a S class before but heard people say usually super pretty gals have lousy character. Maybe because they have been pampered all their life. If I can I would also like to meet a decent looking gal (7/10) with good upbringing. Met such a gal before but unable to get her. You did what many people would have did, find someone you thought was good and chope her fast. It was unfortunate it didn’t last. I hope you will eventually meet the right one if you are still looking out.

I believe that if a person is not for you, he she will still leave you one day no matter how fast you chope the guy or girl. You can get her now but will it last forever? You see so many people married but still divorce. People are flaky now, they have too many choices. At the end of the day if not for you he she will still leave. But some brothers will have the mindset that at least they fucked the girl before liao thats what matters.

Nowadays i no longer so competitive in chasing girls liao. They like the feel of many guys chasing them i always make them feel wanted but i dont harbour any hopes that she will reciprocate and always expect her to choose other guys. I no car, self sufficient salary with excess, im motivated in work, in early 30s, look okay height okay but not enough a criteria.

[boycott]

Bro,

What is most important is personality. Someone with a positive outlook, and is willing to live with you through thick or thin. Them who will calm you down when you return from your busy workplace. Them who do not mind sharing expenses. Them who will stick to you, and vice-versa (hopefully, from your side) until the grave. These are the gems. Personality does not fade.

'Good looks' have high bargaining power. Many males will drool over such 'good looks' and place a lot of offers and unwanted attention, to lure your 'good looks' away from your side. Unfortunately, most of the 'good looks' know that they are 'highly valued' in the skin-deep society that we are all living in currently, they may be more inclined to fall to outside temptations and attention.

Good looks don't last forever, age will catch up invariably and good looks will fade. When good looks expire, and you can't bear to look at 'good looks' everyday at home after 15 years, are you going to dump this one, and look for a newer 'good looks'?

Lastly, do not be in a hurry to get married. Guys in 30s are still considered young. Marriage itself comes with a burden that singles do not have to endure. Sometimes I wish I was a bachelor again.

[iluvbreast]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Bro, if you think that’s a dumb question probably you shouldn’t answer it. I do think it’s a legit question to post in “matters of the heart”. Thanks for the advise though.

I do think it is a dumb question but we probably ask it at some point. I asked it in my late 20s, when the people I know/hang out with start to marry one by one...

So one day I asked my senpai and he told me exactly what I have told you...and more (which I don't wish to share)...looking back it was probably the best advice I received to date...

Eventually I met my ex-wife, married, have kid then divorced...lost my job (troubles don't come alone, and they will follow)...pick myself up (still at it now), along the way, had a new gf (now my wife).

Ultimately I still follow the advice of my senpai: "Are you happy with your life, if not what are you doing to make yourself happy?"